First of all, I've got to say that March 1st was one of our best shoots ever! So much fun and SO much got done. We had the daunting task of tackling 7 scenes with a limited crew, some remaining health issues (OK, one), and a cast of thousands. It was so great having the whole group together, and unlike the night before--we all were able to enjoy it. You know we had a good time because we have 167 damn pictures from the night. Or that means everyone spent a lot of time waiting around, which is always kinda the case anyway. More on the pictures later.
To begin with, a few shout-outs. One to the amazingly fabulous crew who were in attendance that night. Rajah, Lou, Maura, Mark, Stacey and I busted our buttocks to prepare everything before the shoot (as we're currently doing for Saturday's upcoming bat mitzvah extravaganza), set up so that we were 100% ready to go as soon as the actors arrived, and seamlessly moved lights, updated slates, recorded sound, set up shots, plugged in monitors, stood out in the cold, made last minute driving adventures, moved cars, made burgers, organized dinner plans etc. etc. etc. all night. I appreciate their efforts more than they'll ever know. Our actors rightfully get acknowledged for their talents each and every shoot, but especially on a night like this one, we would have been nothing without the hard work of the crew.
Again, though he says I shouldn't thank him, Tom deserves a lot of thanks for putting up with our ragtag group for the whole weekend, and opening his doors to us (even though he wouldn't let us scuff up his new kitchen floor, which is just plain selfish if you ask me). So I will thank Tina and Gianna again for putting up with us and Tom. We had such a great time and a great shoot, and it's so good to be around TT&G, except when Tom ignores my personal space bubble or blows in my ear, which I always ignore hoping that he'll stop blowing in my ear, but he's Tom so he doesn't stop blowing in my ear, and eventually it's pretty damn funny.
Lastly, the cast. I know I always thank you guys, but what a thrill to have the full cast there on one night--a thrill for everybody but Jim Jim Jim Jim who only had one line the whole weekend, and whose ego may never recover. Oh, wait I think it probably just did. You guys showed up on time both nights, ready to go, whether you had a birthday, or a kidney stone, or your scenes were cut for the night, you were absolute troopers, and I appreciate it.
A few extra thoughts I want to put out there too. We have a good time on the set, even in the face of adversity, and I really believe (as I did with "Naughty or Nice") that it is only possible to have so much fun and creativity and closeness if there is also a strong work ethic coming from the cast and crew. And both Stacey & I constantly analyze what is working and what isn't, and are so thankful to the generosity, patience, and teamwork that is displayed on both sides of the camera. That being said, I will not apologize for being a smaller budget production, and doing the best with what we've got week in and week out. I do not feel bad if members of the cast and crew want to order food for themselves, above and beyond the snacks and drinks we provide. Most understand that we just do not have it in the budget to have every shoot catered, and I thoroughly appreciate their understanding. Also I will not tolerate comments about what my crew should be doing and how it might be different on other sets. None of us in the crew is perfect, all of us are working for free, and those people that show up every week and make this happen have their heart so into the production, that if they want to take a break during the course of the evening, by all means they should. I am glad we have an environment where we all kid each other, and laugh a lot, and I'm a nice guy...etc. etc. but I will never again tolerate serious disparaging remarks about our production.
OK, now that I've got that off my chest...
The shoot was excellent. We started with the kitchen scene where Todd introduces Jennifer to Mitch and Ally, with Suzanne in the background. This scene went very well and was a great start to the night. Johanna and Amy were in top form, and Jim and Mark were excellent at doing nothing in the background. It's a fun scene and sets up a lot of important stuff for the movie--the character of Jennifer, Ally's new employment, the reality show rivalry.
We didn't move far from the kitchen, and we brought in kidney girl and birthday girl (Stacey & Leila) for the famous Fonduemeter scene. Even though this is one of the most unnecessary scenes in the script (see, Mark, I don't say every scene is important--just 96% of them), it has a huge fan base, and Stacey & Leila made it a very funny scene. The way Renee's eyes go a little crazy as she pictures having fondue that night is excellent.
Then we set up for the main scene, which involved filling the couch with every one of the talents (and Gianna). We had Mark, Leila, Amy, Jim, Stacey, Tony, Johanna, and Kevin all set to "watch" the reality show that wasn't really playing on Tom's flatscreen TV. So they had to act like they were watching things, which is a skill that Jeff Goldblum also employed in Jurassic Park, because there weren't really dinosaurs there. Anyway, I don't have to tell you that just like 8 little Jeff Goldblums, our gang did such a good job with their minimal lines, maximum reactions, and countless ad libs and other unscripted moments. It was great to see them all together (like the script coming alive!), and once we get to cut in shots of the show they were actually watching, I'm convinced the entire "viewing party" sequence and specifically this scene will be awesome.
Somewhere in there we broke for food and regrouping of sorts. The next scene was my lil' pet project: one of those rare instances where I was lucky enough to be the writer and the director and have a clear vision of how it should look from the very beginning and having the end result be almost identical, only better! Even Rajah liked it, and he hates everything.
Essentially it's the last scene of the night, where Suzanne is waiting in the backseat of Mitch & Ally's car, dejected by the course of events of the night. Paul joins her in the car and tries to cheer her up. Meanwhile, Ally & Mitch say goodbye to Renee and Todd. Then they get in the car too and they all drive off. I've always wanted this to be one shot, from behind the car's rear window, so that you could see Suzanne & Paul in profile in the backseat, and off in the distance, through the front windshield, you could see the other four saying their goodbyes. Rajah, Lou and I lit the car and the background and stuck the microphone in the backseat and then we were G2G.
The scene came out WONDERFULLY. I am so excited about it. I think I even said a few times out loud "I am so excited about this." Though I said it in my Chris monotone, which never seems to enthrall anyone. But trust me I was excited, and it's a super awesome scene. There was an especially nice touch at the end when Suzanne puts her head on Paul's shoulder. As we prepared to do the two lines while driving the car in a second shot (and Rajah swore to me it would be near impossible to light the scene in a moving car at night), Stacey & I made the decision to cut the lines because the scene as it stood ended perfectly as a one-shot package. Many thanks to Stacey, Tony, and the gang out in the cold--Jim, Amy, Leila and Mark--for making this such a memorable scene.
Then we got ready to do the scene with Tony & Stacey in the kitchen, and worked way too long on dramatic lighting but finally got to a good place and were ready to go. So I went to get the mic and...for the second night in a row that's where everything came to a screeching halt. It seems that the microphone was MIA. And why? Because someone on the crew, whose name rhymes with "Chris Tyrrell" unplugged the mic in the outdoor scene, leaving it in the back of Amy's car, and brought the cords in so we'd be ready to do the two driving shots next. But when we cut those shots, I kinda forgot to retrieve the microphone. Oh, also I dismissed Amy (and her car) for the night. And also we realized about an hour later, so she was completely home.
Now, I have another theory on what may have actually gone down. I think Amy hadn't finished talking for the night (!) and decided to mic-nap our audio source, in case she had follow-up questions or comments from home. I can't prove this is what happened, but it's always possible. Anyway, Lou made the sacrifice of driving to her house to get it, and I am very thankful for him doing so. In the meantime, we decided to make our last scene be the penultimate one for the night. Yes, I will use that word every chance I get, which is rare.
That was a scene with Mitch & Paul coming in from the meat photo scene we shot the night before. Thankfully Mark pointed out how we ended that scene, so we were able to make the right blocking choices so that we'll be able to cut from one to the other. Thank god for script supervisors! Anyway, there's not much to report on the scene, other than Tony & Jim were really great in it: finding the right balance between playfully competitive and angry, and we made them enter and exit the house about 90 times to do different shoves, have different lighting set-ups, and on and on, but the truth is it was really very good every time. Then someone suggested that we shoot the sound as well, so I reluctantly went downstairs to get the microphone. I got about halfway down before I remembered that that's where Lou was--off getting the microphone. Tony laughed at me a lot for this, as well he should have.
Finally, Lou returned and we were ready to shoot the (now) last scene of the night. It was about 1 AM at this point and everyone was fading fast. Which is, of course, when the giggles start happening. Tony lost it each time. Stacey came in saying "why aren't you watching it?," and Tony cracked up like clockwork. Oh, also Tony can't say the word "weirder," so we switched it to "stranger," but he still insisted on saying "weirder" if he could make it through the first line. It was all very very funny, and will make for a great blooper sequence! Even better, the scene as Tony & Stacey played it is just great--they hit all the right notes of a very important scene. It has been so much fun seeing the Paul & Suzanne marriage start to take shape over the last few weeks, as it was to see the Mitch & Ally marriage do the same.
So if you're still reading this novel, here are some other quick thoughts and memories from the shoot, and some guides to understanding some of the 167 pictures that you'll see if you:
Let me start by saying that this was the last day of February, which is officially the anti-Joneses month. Perhaps we tempted fate by writing a scene that mocks Valentine's Day, and the gods of February did not like it. And of course as evil months go, this one had to have an extra day. Nice.
To bring you up to speed, February began with one giant location snafu, kidney stones, massive rescheduling (and that was just within the first couple days). Though we did have two successful shoots over the last two weekends, pretty much everything that could go wrong has this month. And for some reason Stacey & I thought her monthlong battle with kidney stones, after a pretty significant surgery Tuesday, would not be enough to keep her from shooting Friday night. Not smart on our parts.
So I would describe the weather Friday as a "wintry mix." Stacey (laying in the backseat with heating pad) and I drove to Stoughton and were lucky to be welcomed by our hosts for the next two nights: Tom, Tina & Gianna. It was very gracious of them to give up their house for the weekend--and from our "Naughty or Nice" experience, they knew what they were getting into!--so we really appreciated it.
Tom, Maura, Mark, Lou, Rajah and I began setting up the first scene to take place out on the porch by the grill. Because people love to grill when it's 23 degrees out. Maura shaped the burgers, and thankfully the hot dogs were already hot dog shaped. We got a perfect lighting set-up. I created a song called "I Like To Tota Tota" as an homage to the Tota light. It's to the tune of "I Like to Move It Move It". It does not have verses, sadly. Anyway, we were moving like clockwork!
And our cast began filing in one by one. Besides Stacey & Mark, we had Tony & Leila (as their significant others), Amy & Jim, and Kevin & Johanna. It was couples night, for sure. The girls took over the upstairs bathroom (except for kidney girl who was convalescing in the TV room). Jim, Tony, Kevin, & Mark all found spaces to get ready in themselves--the garage, a towel closet, Gianna's doll house. Whatever, we made it work.
And then we were ready to shoot! Leila, Mark, Tony, and Kevin did a great runthrough, the burgers and dogs were cooked, and the camera and lights were all good to go (or, G2G). All we had left to do was plug in the microphone. And that's when it all went to hell.
Last weekend, the microphone was acting a little finicky, with a weird sensitive buzz, but this night that buzz was present, oh, about 93% of the time. We tried everything to fix it. New battery? Nope. Different kind of battery? Nope. 3 different cords, holding the microphone in our hands, moving it away from the other electrical devices: no matter what we did. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That's when I imploded. I was pretty proud it was my first on-set implosion so far, seventeen days in, but of course this would all have to happen the night when we had the full cast, two nights in a row to shoot, and a full nine scenes to do. Stacey & Maura went downstairs to look into how we could potentially buy an all new microphone in time for tomorrow's shoot, while I decided we were going to have to rejigger the entire weekend on the spot and come up with every cutaway and M.O.S. shot to shoot tonight. I was displeased.
So we did a close-up of the grill. Then we did a close-up of the meat photos. Then an over-the-shoulder shot from the second scene. We would soon run out of things to do. Stacey came upstairs and said she researched it online and that some people found they had buzzing when a screw was loose in the mic. So she screwed one a bit tighter and wanted us to try it again. I had approximately no confidence this would work, but...miracle time...it was completely fixed. Just perfect. We lost an hour and a half or so, but we had our microphone again! Woo hoo! Stacey got a round of applause. She was happy, before she doubled over with the heating pad and passed out again.
We were now ready to shoot the barbecue scenes. Kevin, Leila, Mark and Tony didn't miss a beat and were terrific in the scene that kicks off the whole viewing party sequence. Not only were we just happy to be shooting, but it's a very good scene and everybody had a part in making it happen. Then we moved the camera around for the second scene on the porch, with Jim as Mitch, sulking in the background while Paul, Victor, and Todd salivate over a photo album of various meats. I loved this scene--it was really funny, just great performances, and damn cool shots to boot! We were on a roll.
Somewhere in between the two scenes we took a look at what we would still be able to do that night and realized that our options for Amy & Johanna were to either keep them waiting another hour and a half for potentially one scene, or send them home early, without using them at all that night. We went for option B, which made me feel bad having them come all the way out there for nothing, but I'm the same guy who wouldn't cancel the shoot right after Stacey's procedure, so I'm extremely lucky to have people who are this invested in the movie. Also I forget to eat during shoots, and thankfully a burger was shoved into my hand. What a weirdo.
We were ready to shoot the third scene with Tony & Jim on the porch--all the lights were set up. And then it began snowing. Into the lights. We quickly brought everything in and called it a night.
Tom & Tina (and their wonderful toilet paper!) said it would be OK if we started earlier the next day (which would be March, if you're keeping score) so we all drove away and put this horrible, horrible night behind us. The two scenes we got done looked really great, but I was very glad to have this cursed month over with.
There was about 8 inches of snow on the ground, but we didn't reschedule our Day 16 shoot (you're welcome, Jim, Rajah, and Mark). Again, I woke up much earlier than expected. It's very strange that I'm tired all the time, and can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but on these mornings of the film shoots I just cannot stay sleeping.
Stacey and I loaded up the car and drove into Boston for our shoot at my office. First on the scene was Max (he beat us there), then Mark, Maura, and Rajah & Jim bringing up the rear. My worst direction for the day was definitely those that I gave Jim in trying to get him from the Aquarium T-stop, which I neglected to remember has two exits. We had a fun 20 minute argument about where Atlantic Avenue is. Stacey rolled her eyes. Maura laughed at me. Mark got annoyed and just walked to meet Jim, who was dressed for the day in his business suit, dark sunglasses and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" fisherman galoshes. Tres chic, Dicky.
So though our crew time was 9:30, I'm pretty sure we hadn't really begun before noon. Memo to self: don't let this happen again. To be fair, we were taking our time because we knew today's shoot was all about the way Ally's cubicle was decorated, lit, framed, etc. and we also had a lot of blocking for Jim to do. Stacey doctored up a wedding photo of Amy's to be Mitch & Ally--a result she claims is her worst photoshopping ever, which I would agree, not because it was so bad, but more because her norm is scarily perfect. Still, the cubicle looked great and it had just the right moodiness.
We shot the scene a lot darker than I had envisioned it, but every shot looked really spectacular. Jim did a lot of hand acting, which is fine because his hands are just so hunky and act as well as Robert Duvall. The right one, at least. His left hand is a little bit more like Tim Allen. All of Jim's body was on point, acting-wise in the scene, and then we had our first "round-table discussion" of the day about my desire to have a 2nd chair in the cubicle for Mitch to move to at the end of the scene. Many did not like this idea. Mark came up with a great solution to make it work. And we got to shoot it from my super wide overhead shot that made it look very lonely and moving. Also Stacey had a great idea about the Inbox ominously saying Last Mail Call, which Rajah approved of, and involved camera movement. Hurray! P.S. thanks for the chairs, Derek!!
Once we finished up that scene, we were ready to move onto #2, and I'm pretty sure it was midnight by that point, but more likely it was about 2:30. We went next store to the fancy top secret locale which would double as Mitch's office. It was the perfect office, and we were so lucky to get to use it. We lit the whole thing with natural light because the office is all windows, and between the sun and the snow, and the fact that the office is on the 7th floor with an amazing view of a Boston intersection, it was very awesome. My instinct was to shoot from above (as I think that's my one instinct), whereas Rajah likes to shoot from low angles. I was kicked out of the room because it was Stacey's turn to direct and it's hard for anyone to concentrate when my beautiful face and winning personality are in close proximity.
So I got to read the part of Dave Willis over a speakerphone (saying all of Monty's lines), and then was invited back into the room. When I got there, the shots that Stacey & Rajah had were excellent, and they chose having Mitch pace instead of opening mail, which I can tell you was an outstanding choice. From the low angle, seeing him seethe and pace, with these columns of light and buildings behind him--it was very dynamic. I was struck by the thought that he looked like a caged animal, which was exactly what the scene needed. We moved the camera around to nail a few more ridiculously cool shots, and Jim pulled off a flawless performance for a tricky scene. Then we needed to shoot the end of the scene, which was Mitch throwing the phone across the room. So Max and I caught the phone in my parka, off camera. But not just any phone. We actually had a stunt phone. How was it different from the real phone, you ask? Only we will ever know.
Oh, and Jim pawed at the poms dangling from Stacey's sweater, as if he were a cat. Then he rubbed his head against her hip. Also as if he were a cat or, possibly, just because that's what Jim does. He also has upgraded his immature "boobies in my face" catchphrase to the more sophisticated, "boobies on or about the facial region." Jim is very special to the production, and I will let you read into that however you like.
With that scene done, we had about 20 minutes or so left of daylight, and two more scenes to shoot in it. So Rajah busted out a superquick supercool long corridor shot with changing focus, dramatic shafts of light, that looked great on the monitor. Stacey suggested a really cool shot against the window (with the water, boats, airport and horizon in the background), and all I know is that she and Rajah got very, very excited about how it turned out. Then we made our way to the street outside to shoot Mitch walking across the street, and of coure the tape ran out as soon as we got there. After a quick sprint, we got the tape and the shot, and then Stacey, Rajah and Jim shot another version over by a bridge, while the rest of us packed up our stuff.
So how was Day 16? Very successful. No tough spots, superb shots and performances by Jim, and the seven of us functioned with the efficiency of a crew twice our size (although it was our first shoot without the Loubert, and there was an empty place in my heart, to be sure). A great, great day, and now I'm even more exhausted. Maybe I'll sleep tonight? Yes, I definitely will. Goodnight, moon.
After a two-week hiatus that felt like a lifetime, we were back in business shooting at O'Brien's Bar on the Saugus/Lynn line, on Presidents' Day, inches from the bridge where George Washington did something historical many, many years ago back when history happened. You can look it up but it's true.
It was good to start production again, and was oddly reminiscent of our Day 1, with Tony & Jim on location, and a whole new slew of obstacles to overcome. Here are some of my favorites:
The battery charger. Somehow, somewhere our battery charger has been misplaced. So we had to make it through the night on one and 3/4 batteries, which we did fine. But I spent hours that day looking in all of our bags and it still never turned up. Then I went to Best Buy but they didn't have the universal charger that they advertised. So I drove to the Danvers Best Buy who did have it. But of course it doesn't fit our battery. Things were not off to a terrific start.
Our contact at O'Briens forgot that we were going to be shooting that day, so there was some more nervousness as Mark, Maura, and I waited around in our house. Thankfully they opened their doors to us, generously, as they have done in the past.
Lou arrived and the four of us set up our first shot--a scene we had skipped over for the Halloween shoot--with Stacey & Tony again playing their roles of Sexy Cop and Bad Boy Prisoner. We zoomed through that scene, and they both did great jobs. I used packets of sugar (Domino for Stacey, Sweet N' Low for Tony) as their marks. Hence the blog title--Stacey's and Tony's impression of my wonderful direction for the night.
Thanks to Lou, the handcuffs were fully functioning.
Our extras in attendance were Craig, Michael and Yuri, who I called Huey for the better part of the night. Maura, who is non-SAG as far as I can tell, played the part of bartender. Remarkably, we switched their configurations around enough that the bar actually looked like it had a good amount of patrons. We're kind of geniuses.
Rajah showed up (minus the tripod plate--again!--this is my attempt at shaming him into bringing it next time) and we busted out some kickass lighting. The shots in the bar are stellar, especially Rajah's over-the-shoulder shots which are very, very dramatic.
Oh, yes, and Jim showed up with his acting toolbox. By the way, Jim's 3rd favorite catchphrase ("Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim...) for some reason caught on with Rajah that night, who repeated it ad infinitum. I don't know who to blame more. I guess I should be glad that he didn't get Jim's 2nd favorite catchphrase ("boobies in my face") stuck in his head.
The scene between Mitch and Paul at the bar is a very important one, and these guys did an awesome job with it. Really awesome. I gave a lot of direction, and afterwards kicked myself for one supremely stupid move of insisting that Jim do a specific line ("They're shitty") over and over and over again, because I absolutely loved the way he did it once, but wanted his next line to be perfect in that same take. Apparently I forgot about editing, and how we most likely will use my favorite take (probably #2), then cut to Paul's reaction, then back to Mitch on a different take, thereby making the subsequent 40 takes of "They're shitty" completely unnecessary. Jim, if you're reading this...I'm sorry, that was quite dumb of me. Oh, who am I kidding, Jim only reads the last three lines of anything written, unless it's in pink.
Now that I re-read all of this, I'm definitely questioning the bullets, because everything is really a paragraph, but I'm far too tired to change it now. OK, I'll wrap up.
It was so excellent to be shooting again, and I couldn't have asked for a more seamless night to get back into it. The Paul/Suzanne scene was great and easy, and the Mitch/Paul scene was really terrific. Once again, I'm so proud of these actors, and the crew who make things go so efficiently (when they're not drinking Michelob Ultras), and the extras that give this movie so much needed authenticity, and for the wonderful places that open their doors to us.
That's it for now. Blah blah blah...stand on sugar.
Day 14 was certainly the most eventful and dramatic day of our shoot so far. Suffice to say our bad luck from the night before had not really ended, but just manifested into something much, much bigger.
We got an early start Saturday and some of us were a little grumpy. Others of us mercilessly mocked the grumpy, which was not very nice, I'll admit. And when I find out who was doing all the mocking there will be hell to pay!
We were riding high off our late-night brainstorming session that left us feeling so excited about the new ending of The Joneses (which will, tragically, be scorpion-free). While Rajah was getting his piece to connect the camera to the tripod--bye bye duct tape!--we set up lights and were reunited with Amy, who was back on set after an absence for a few weeks. It was a great vibe that morning, and we were excited to get going.
So, first, the sun. The sunlight was changing about every five seconds (not an exaggeration), making shooting extremely difficult. Rajah, Stacey, & I tried to work with the sun, but ultimately it was probably just bad planning on my part to start with the scene in the one room whose lighting fluctuated so very, very much. We blocked the scene out with Jim & Amy, both of whom did a terrific job in a scene that was so important because it's the first in the movie where you get to spend time with Mitch & Ally. Stacey looked smashing in her directing hat, and I worked with Frank, Max, Rajah, Mark, and Lou to help bring the shampoo scene to life.
I should mention that this was one of those scenes which instead of tiring everybody out with each take, actually got better, sweeter, funnier, and more entertaining as it went along. Some of the last bits were so good between Jim and Amy that Stacey & I were trying not to laugh, and we decided to reshoot the reverse shots on the spot because the lighting was finally perfect, the performances were great, and the Mitch & Ally marriage was coming off so strong. The end result was superb, and a true team effort by all. We're very happy with how it came out and I'm glad we took our time with it.
We also had a string of jokes, many unprintable, that every member of the cast and crew came up with to complete Mitch's line about the shampoo, "I just wanted to know why it's so expensive. And now I know, it costs a fortune to make your hair smell like ________" I believe we settled on "Grandma." But Jim wins for the most repulsive suggestions.
So it was a little later in the day than we had hoped before beginning Scene 2, but we started setting up immediately. And then...it happened. We had to shut down for the day very suddenly. I can't discuss all the ins and outs of what went down, but I will say that we sent Rajah, Max, Jim, Amy, and Frank to Centerfields for lunch, while Lou, Stacey, Mark and I tried to sort through some location issues. It seemed like we were going to resume for the day, but then that fell through too. We packed up our gear quickly and efficiently, and some of us migrated to Centerfields for some much needed drinking, billiards, and regrouping.
And that's where we are right now, as I write this, two days later. Frantically rescheduling for this coming weekend. Rejiggering the schedule in a way that makes sense. Dealing with the unlucky onslaught of health issues that seem to be plaguing family members of our crew (including Stacey, who is at this moment going through her first bout with kidney stones in almost a decade). Oh, and the rest of the state is in mourning because of the Patriots' defeat in the Superbowl last night.
It has not been my favorite week.
So here's the plan. We move on from here. Health comes first, obviously. Lou and I are going to come up with an idea to still shoot this coming weekend, so we don't get even further behind. And we just keep going forward, because that is what has gotten us as far as we've come.
And we have come so far. This movie has been a dream of ours to make for a long time now, and every talk I have with the cast and crew seems to lead to someone saying how much they believe in and love this project. Stacey & I watch the footage and we know we're doing such good work. Lou and Mark and Stacey & I talk every few days and we're still so excited, committed more each day to making this movie better than perfect. Jim makes himself available all the time. Frank apologizes if he has to miss half a day. Rajah has passed up a paid night's work to be with us. Maura shows up for every shoot and then feels guilty that she's not doing enough. Amy & Tony, who have not been there every week, are missed when they're not there, and seem to be having a ball playing these characters. Mike and Max and Leila and Kevin T. and Kevin C. and Tom and so many other people have been integral to making The Joneses as great an experience as it has been thus far, with such potential to be a wonderful film. I am so proud to be a part of this and I, like so many others in our cast and crew, will continue and will overcome our issues of late, and we are going to make this movie awesome.
That's it. Now I have to sob into a pillow a little bit and then go to sleep.
It was Friday, the 13th day of shooting. We should have known.
It was supposed to be an easy night. 3 scenes, 1 actor: Mitch typing on laptop; Mitch watching TV; Mitch picking up the phone. Even for Jim, those things are relatively easy. However, it was the night where pretty much everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
I must admit we started pretty slowly and very laidback, because we wanted it to be that kind of night. Arrival time was supposed to be 6:00, but we probably didn't get focused and finished eating, etc. until about 7:30 or so.
The laptop scene called for Mitch to be posting Suzanne's information and photo on an online dating service (we were given the choice of BlackSingles.com, ChristianMingle.com, and AmericanSingles.com by the people at Spark.net who were allowing us to promote them). We chose AmericanSingles.com, which somebody pointed out would also be a great web site promoting cheese. During the week I posted Stacey's picture on the singles site--something I'd imagine not many husbands get a chance to do.
I thought I was being pretty smart before arriving, given that we don't have wireless internet service on set, by loading up all the web pages on my laptop. What wasn't quite so clever was allowing the laptop battery to die on the way to Canton, so when it was time to shoot, I couldn't start up my computer. So I restarted. And of course all the pages were lost.
Even with the help of some very technical smarties--Mark, Jim, and Stacey--we weren't able to come up with a way to get those pages back. I'd like to point out at this point that Lou was dressed like Bob Kraft, and surprisingly that didn't help with our dilemma. Stacey suggested a solution that we ignored (a cute lil' thing I like to do), which pretty much became the actual solution after about 45 minutes. It involved saving things on Rajah's jump drive. But before we settled on that, Mark & Jim searched the house and discerned that the internet service runs through the plumbing or something. Maura called in her resident expert too. Meanwhile what were Frank, Lou, Rajah and me doing?
Well, it turns out that Rajah forgot the piece that connects the camera to the tripod. I've done that once before on a shoot, and it's always sucky. Thankfully Rajah got all crafty and made an intricate rope system out of folded over duct tape, a spoon (I'm not kidding) and probably a third item which was equally funny. All I know is when I emerged from Crisis #1 (the laptop) to check on Crisis #2 (the tripod), I found a very, very Ghetto Camera that nevertheless was fully functioning. And we were ready to shoot!
Wait. Then there was the Foster family photo that we wanted on the wall, that Maura worked at affixing with blue tape very diligently and pressed against the wall, allowing us about 3 minutes of shoot time before it started sliding onto the couch. She and Stacey worked on a two-tape system: taping duct tape to the blue tape, and that expanded our window of time before the picture fell to about 5 minutes. Between each take we had to fix our fake photo, in its fake hanging frame, hanging over Mitch's fake online laptop (Shiba brand!), all shot in front of our fake camera tripod. It was one of our saddest moments. Watching Jim write up Suzanne's fake profile was actually very entertaining, and the scene (now that it was about 10:30) was finally done! Lou had already been asleep for about an hour and a half at this point.
Next we moved onto the scene where Mitch watches the kidnapping footage on the TV. That one actually went off without a hitch, except the duct-tape tripod broke, and the house started dripping somewhere, and a thunderstorm began. But Jim was terrific in the scene, and Frank captured the awesome sounds of the rain pouring down with one lightning flash in a take that I hope we can use. Stacey then came up with the final shot for Mitch walking to his chair, and she and Rajah worked tirelessly to try a really creative shot using soft focus--and for some reason the area they were trying to set up was the one place that everyone of us wanted to stand while doing nothing. So they yelled at us every single time. Then Jim dropped his pants on the first take, which was completely uncalled for.
Lastly, we shot a scene with Jim picking up the phone in the foyer which looks really cool, although we had a hell of a time not getting the lights in the thousand mirrors in the room, until I decided to half-open the mirrored closet which created an even cooler effect. Nothing broke while we were shooting that scene. I think Lou--tired from his napping--decided to go home and sleep at this point.
So at like 1 in the morning we finished the shoot that should have taken like two hours tops. Frank went home, and Maura, Mark, Jim, Rajah, Stacey & I sat around and talked through "The Joneses" end scene, continuing a conversation initiated by Jim & Mark at the Beanywood event we attended earlier in the week. By 3 AM or so we had come up with the COOLEST and CREEPIEST new ending for this movie that is loved by all, except Mark, and was suggested by Stacey 45 minutes earlier, but I think I ignored it. Anyway, Stacey and I are completely invigorated by this new ending, and so indebted to Mark (and Jim, if I must) for initiating the conversation. It is going to be so excellent.
Anyway, we called it a night, knowing that thankfully our jinxed evening was over, and we had nothing but good things to look forward to for the next day... ;)
