"The Joneses" production Day 2, technically started the day before, when--while securing the funeral home and hearse--I was told that we wouldn't be able to shoot there. "Are you crazy?" I asked the crazy toothless man who answered the door. "You can't use it tomorrow. Somebody died," he replied. I nodded, pretended to look sad for a moment, and then said "do you think he/she would like to be in a movie?" The toothless man flashed me a toothless frown as he closed the door in my face, while I cried out, "but I have storyboooooaaaarrrds!" And so that was that.
Stacey and I quickly hatched a plan to shoot the car-interior funeral procession shots the following morning, and that was why we found ourselves outside of Casket Royale in New Hampshire at the beginning of Day 2. It marked the first day of shooting with Amy Ulrich as Ally, and our additions of Mike Ricci on sound and Justin Situ on bass. Or maybe it was gels. Also joining in on the fun were the usual gang of hoodlums--Stacey, Jim, Rajah, Lou, Mark, Adam, Frank and me.
And now, since bullet form is a lot more fun to read, here are some of the interesting moments from that shoot:
The neighborhood we chose to freak out with our slow-moving, stop-and-start procession was very coincidentally well known to Mike, who proved to be an excellent tour guide. For some reason he called every driver that passed us, "Mom."
Snag #1: Not enough light in the car to see Jim's & Amy's faces. They came out more as black blobs. (Memo to self: remember this effect if we ever write a movie called Black Blobs) We made an executive decision that we will shoot this movie with the actors' faces visible, and I still stand behind that choice.
The trunk of Mark's car has a nice airy feel about it, yet the trunk of Amy's car comes complete with a makeshift recliner. If you're going to be stuffed in the back of somebody's car, I have to give Amy's the edge over the DiSanzomobile.
Snag #2: Lavaliers weren't ready to go. I don't remember why. But I accepted the reason.
Through a series of confusing and complicating events, eventually Lou, Mark, Adam, Frank, and Josh (our extra), headed back to Casket Royale. Stacey took the wheel of the Saturn Vue, which played the part of "Other Car" to a tee. Way to go, Vue!
Snag #3: Mark's car was too dark too. We decide to shoot in Amy's car, which has a sunroof and is the only car out of about 17 cars that I said we should not bring to park on a very unhappy neighbor's lawn where we were. While 1/2 the crew went back to get her car, Jim did some excellent rear-view acting, Mike did some phenomenal backseat miking, and Rajah did some backseat driving. Did I mention he had a steering wheel around his camera? Yep. Next time we should steal a Driver's Ed car so that Rajah can have his own gas and brakes as well. Meanwhile I rode shotgun and bled profusely from my cuticles for no apparent reason. This is what my wife lovingly refers to as "digusting"--kind of a pet name.
Take after take, Jim could not remember to shush Amy. Everybody was stunned.
Finally we were ready to proceed, with Jim driving, Amy riding shotgun, Mike and Rajah working sound and camera from the backseat and me in the trunk. Stacey led the procession of two cars. From then on, it was smooth sailing! The acting was terrific by Jim & Amy, and it was our first glimpse of the very funny Mitch/Ally argument where Mitch cuts out of a funeral procession in order to reposition himself further up in the line by cutting off Paul's grandmother. They did a great job, and I think the scene is going to come out really well. Of course, somewhere down the road we may want to shoot their black blobs from the front as well.
So Day 2, Part I had it's fair share of issues, but we rose to every occasion, and I really think made the best out of the morning. So what happened for the rest of the day? Stay tuned...
Day 1 is in the can! Actually it was quite literally in the can, as we shot the first 3 hours in a tight urinal/stall area. The good people of the Beverly Athletic Club allowed us to use their space for what I'm sure was initially pitched by me as "a few hours," which translated into shooting from about 3:30 - midnight, but netted us about 6 minutes of the film that has already been shot. Not too shabby for Day 1.
Here are some things I learned:
old naked guys like walking around the men's locker room at length (pardon the pun), whether there is a film crew in there or not. They also like having conversations with you while their special parts are hanging over your shoulder. Towels? Who needs towels?!
despite having a camera, two enormous lights, a boom mic, six crew members, and two actors huddled around a urinal and stall, this does not dissuade people from walking into the center of it and making either a #1 or (what I like to call) a B.M. in the middle of your scene. While it added to the authenticity, it really wasn't the most glamorous way to start our shoot.
Having somebody who knows what they're doing with the camera (Rajah) is completely invigorating, and we already have some amazing shots that Stacey & I were getting giddy about as we watched the footage. Kudos to Rajah for some really excellent work throughout the shoot.
Apple juice + water = fake pee pee. Organic apple juice + water = some sort of urinary condition.
Our two new cast/crew hybrid machines (Adam Lopez and Frank Tarara) are both awesome to have on set, and did a terrific job lighting and recording the sound for the whole marathon day.
If you can't give your actors real steroids in between scenes (stupid Olympic regulations!) then a creative big-shirt/tight-shirt variation really works to give some authenticity to some sudden muscle bulges.
When Mark DiSanzo talks, we should listen. As script supervisor at least two important catches he made for the day were a "green glove on the opposite hand" detail, and pointing out that when you can see that only 30 lbs. are being lifted in the shot, it might not be too impressive for our post-steroid hulkster.
I love dolly tracks. I just love them.
Tony Wright and Jim Shalkoski, Jr. are great actors and as Stacey pointed out later, "it's really nice that we'll be able to pick the 'best' takes this time instead of moments from our last film where we had to pick the 'least horrible' take.
Extras are a magical thing. Big props to Lou "Koko B. Ware" Ottaviani for doing all kinds of extra management to make the gym scenes really come alive.
Tony's choice to chew gum in the post-steroid scene was PERFECT. And Jim's "very dicky" take as Mitch lead to a wonderful performance. The whole night showcased the Paul/Mitch friendship-competition excellently.
I can already see that we have a first-rate cast, and a production crew that are already figuring out how to keep everything going as creatively and efficiently as possible. I could speak at length about each of our roles more, but suffice to say that I now know exponentially more about how to play to each of our strengths. I thank Stacey, Lou, Mark, Rajah, Frank, Adam, Tony, and Jim for making Day 1 as fun and successful as it was. Oh, also I thank myself because I'm awesome.
Today's special shout-out is to Mark DiSanzo who has been dedicated to this film since he read the script several years ago, and has proven to be a key force in the pre-production, now the production, as well as leading the way to bring The Joneses info to the general public. Also when he and Stacey gang up on me, it makes me cry inside. Because they're right.
Getting investors is hard work. Too hard in fact, so I'm going to begin selling my blood to reach our budget goals. I will keep you posted on my progress.
8:45 AM Sold 1 pint of blood. Feeling productive. Bought two walkie talkies. Score!
9:50 AM Sold another pint. This is almost too easy! I feel like my veins are a dang ATM machine. Cha-ching. Better head over to the store and get that microphone we've been eyeing.
10:15 AM Cookie break. You know how they say you should live every day like it's your last? I kind of am today and it's excellent! What a delicious cookie this is. I may just sell another 1/2 pint or so before lunch.
12:00 PM Sold two more pints of blood. I am heading out to get a tricycle for the camera. Did I say tricycle? :) I mean tripod. Ha, ha. That's hilarious! Imagine putting a camera on a tricycle for stability. Pure silliness. Hey if you have 3 iPods do you call them TriPods? Ha, ha. Oh my God that is funny. I need a cookie or something and maybe some apple juice and a cookie.
2:00 PM They say I can't sell any more blood today and I said to them that I'm pretty sure this isn't Russia! Then they kicked me out. I got tossed from the hospital, which is fine because there are PLENTY of good blood banks in this town and I can get cold hard cash from any one of them. You hear me, hospital?! Any one of them would gladly pay me for my awesome blood. It's like a river of gold, and you just missed the boat.
4:15 - 6:20 PM I found one place that I think was a blood bank but I'm not sure why there was a sea otter at the front desk. That was weird. Anyway, I think I donated a few quarts or so, I can't be sure exactly, but this cash in my pocket is going right to a wide angle lens as soon as I can find my pants. Uh oh. I always keep my pockets in my pants. This is not good at all. Whoa, was that just a tremor? What is this, California? The ground is totally shaking right now. OK. First things first. I've got to nap for just a little bit and then--
Midnight or 5:00 AM All in all the day was a mild success, but I may rethink cold-calling. My head is still spinning a bit, but I am currently under the medical watch of a Dr. Empty Slurpee Cup. What is my prognosis, Dr. Cup? Oh you're not a doctor, huh? Well, I stand corrected.
When we were making "Naughty or Nice," the full-length Christmas comedy-drama in our house for six months, the biggest location concern we had was whether our kitchen floors needed to be mopped yet again. But as we embark on our second film, and are anxious to get out of our house, we have entered the strange and exciting world of location scouting.
Here are a few things I've learned so far:
1) Very small airports are extremely responsive to struggling filmmakers. However, a hangar and a chain-link fence might not look very authentic doubling for Logan.
2) If you want a coffin designed like a racecar, you can get it. "It goes from zero to heaven in sixty seconds," is what we've been told.
3) If you send a mass mailing to everyone in a neighborhood you'd like to use for exteriors, be wary of giving people your cell phone number, because they very may well call you everyday insisting that every member of their family are shoo-ins for every major part in the film. Not having read the script, this is pretty impressive on their part.
4) The number one question asked by representatives of potential locations: So this movie you're making...it's not porn, right?
5) People in the restaurant business are extremely busy. Yet so far, very helpful. Will I be able to con free food out of them? Only time will tell.
