I have done my best to have a sense of humor about this site.....
To make fun of the factthat after my very first blog..... Lindsay BLACKLISTED ME!
I truly, honestly, wanted to believe that SHE was joking, having fun, etc.....
But the simple fact that after 31 Blogs..... over 21,000 views.....
I DON'T EVEN RATE AS A SELECTED BLOGGER..... Those in charge here REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME!
I did everything that I could to be entertaining.... Funny... Informative... & talk about the Hollywood & the New england film community.
I seriously believe that quite a few people ENJOYED READING MY WHACKY BLOGS about life in Hollywood and the difficulty of breaking into show biz here, on the east coast.... But I will never know.
ONLY THOSE SPECIAL FEW...... THAT FIT INTO "The Beanywood Plan" seem to be Hi-lighted here on Beanywood.
This very EXCLUSIONARY ATTITUDE... AND PETTY POWER PLAYS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO WARN PEOPLE ABOUT HERE FROM DAY ONE...
Beanywood (and the many people I have tried to contact about film work out here) seem to be mimicking ALL THE VERY WORST TRAITS OF WHAT'S WRONG WITH HOLLYWOOD!
This is why I left Hollywood after 12 long, hard, soul sucking, heart wrenching years and gave up and came home a COMPLETE BROKEN LOSER OF A MAN!
EGO'S... ATTITUDES... BIG MOUTHS... RAMPANT MEDIOCRITY... PETTINESS... JEALOUSY... FEAR... PHONINESS... HATRED... All abound here on the east coast and in the Film making community. It saddens me and truly Breaks my heart to see this happening here.
I have valuable information and real life stories... DIRECTLY FROM HOLLYWOOD... and I was just trying to pass this information on to THE GOOD, TALENTED AND DECENT PEOPLE OUT HERE ON THE EAST COAST.....
But it seems like it's all been in Vain and I can't even get started again in show business out here because of so many peoples PRETENTIOUS ATTITUDES AND HATRED TOWARDS MYSELF!
I truly believe that I haven't been able to make a dent in Production work out here and meet decent filmmakers because so many people out here... are just PLAIN JEALOUS OF ME AND THE FACT THAT I AM ONE OF THE RARE FEW PEOPLE THAT HAS ACTUALLY LIVED AND WORKED IN HOLLYWOOD!
And to make matters even worse..... now every time I log on to Beanywood.......
ITS FULL OF RACIST CRAP THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH NEW ENGLAND FILM MAKING!!
What the hell is going on here people?????
WHY HAS THIS BECOME A PERSONAL FORUM ON RACISM IN AMERICA?????
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT IS MENTIONING THIS???
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS THIS WAY?
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES ENOUGH TO GO OUT ON A LIMB AND SPEAK MY MIND OPENLY AND HONESTLY ABOUT THESE DISTURBING THINGS???
HAVE I GONE CRAZY OR IS THIS DUDE POSTING THE WRONG BLOG ON THE WRONG SITE????
HELL YA.... THIS COUNTRY IS A RACIST COUNTRY...... THE POWERS THAT BE DESIGNED IT THIS WAY SO THAT WHILE "WE THE PEOPLE" ALL ARGUE AND BICKER AND HATE EACH OTHER FOR ALL THE STUPID, WRONG, PETTY REASONS..... THOSE IN CHARGE CAN ROB US ALL BLIND AND RAPE THIS COUNTRY OF EVERY LAST GOOD THING THAT USED TO EXIST HERE.........
ITS SAD..... BUT TRUE......... AND MAKES ME SO SAD...... BUT THIS AINT THE DAMN PLACE TO BE POSTING ALL THIS CRAP!!!!
HOW IRONIC AM I?????... I SHOULDN'T BE POSTING THIS CRAP EITHER!
I'M AN IDIOT!
BUT AT LEAST I UNDERSTAND THAT I'M AN IDIOT AND SHOULDN'T BE POSTING THIS CRAP HERE!
I hope some of you decent, creative people out there are living your dreams and enjoying your lives!
Rock on........ Bon Scott says Hello.
From your Deranged..... and yet, amazingly still happy and friendly X-Hollywood Reject..... Craig Amabello
PS: Don't forget to check out my INSANE VLOGS ON YOUTUBE!
Craig Amabello says: having a good attitude in life is very important.... Especially if you chose show biz for your profession.... When your job as a REAL person... Is to make FAKE reality seem real.... It can all get pretty damn surreal, bizarre and twisted up inside your head... So having a sense of humor about it all is so VERY important!
Unfortunately my attitude confuses people a lot.... I am very sarcastic and dark... But I am also very friendly and helpful and I love to make fun of everything.... And I try my best to laugh and have a good time no matter where I am, what I am doing, or who I am with.
Unfortunately many times, people confuse my easy going attitude with weakness.... and my clowning around makes people think I'm a bloody moron... So it just sucks when people try to take advantage of my good natured & easy going ways.
Which leads me to my Topic of this blog..... ATTITUDES...... Hollywood can be a very closed, tight knit place where it is almost impossible to break into the business because only a handful of people truly do run the entire town. And many people develop serious attitudes in their attempt to mask or cover up their own insecurities & weaknesses so they can act all big & important.... It can be most painful & heartbreaking just trying to make it through another day in Hollywood & if you can't find a way to laugh at all this insanity.... You can go CRAZY!
I left Hollywood after 12 long years of struggling & frustration dealing with so many BAD attitudes and all I was doing was just trying to better my life & get to a higher position & work on bigger & better paying productions.... But for the life of me, I just couldn't find the right door to open, or the right window to climb in to better my position in the hard, cold world of Hollywood.
All my struggles where in vain... I never did better myself.... My attempt to climb that elusive ladder of success, was a complete failure!.... I finally gave in & had to admit.... That I was a loser & that Hollywood had Kicked me like a raw dog & beaten me to the bone & slammed me into the ground like a chewed up rag doll!
But I can still laugh & smile when I look back fondly of my days in LA.
I learned a lot working on many low paying jobs doing camera work and editing. The things I learned could never be taught in a class room, because once you get into the REAL WORLD of Hollywood production... you find that many supposed rules, just fly out the window. The directors drunk & in a bad mood, The actors been doing coke for days & can't remember their lines, the DP was dating the actress & now hates her & wants to make her look horrible, the production manager has only booked talent that he thinks he can have sex with & they have no talent at all, the producer is making last minute changes with actresses because he had sex with a girl the night before & promised her a role in the movie & she can't act at her way out of a paper bag, the owner of the shooting location turns out to be a crystal meth addict & still wants to conduct drug deals while we are trying to work...... & on & on...... but you learn that you still have to get through the day somehow & COMPLETE the project.
Now I know this may all sound far fetched & weird to you people, & probably doesn't occur on a George Lucas picture... But in the Hollywood world that I worked in... "The Low budget world".... this kind of stuff occurred all the time! And believe me, it was fascinating at times to work around all these obstacles & still get the days work done.... but it just put a lot of undue pressure on me to work under these conditions.
That's why I so desperately wanted to find better paying gigs with bigger & more professional production companies, but I just had know idea how to go about meeting the right people. I was making $300 a day as my rate as a cameraman & I worked approx. 3 days a week shooting & I also did editing 2 to 3 days a week on top of that for various different rates.... Many projects I shot, I also ended up editing... And believe me, when the cast & crew are all in a bad mood for the entire shoot & the script goes out the window & the shooting is horrible & I end up having a producer breathing down my neck to complete a project because the release date is 5 days away.... THE PRESSURE JUST BECOMES ENORMOUS!
But I developed a thick skin & learned to laugh at everything & tried not to let it get to me... otherwise you would go insane! I know I have a weird attitude & very sarcastic out look on everything... but no matter who I worked for, or what I was being paid, wether they were big movie stars, (yes, once in awhile I actually did work with big movie stars), or just brand new unknown actors, I prided myself on my ability to be helpful, happy, and professional in the sense that I always tried to do the best that I could under whatever circumstances we were shooting under.
I found that it was very important to have a sense of humor when you find yourself working 12 to 14 hour days... day in & day out under such pressure to complete projects on time & on budget. But many of the people that I worked with, were just miserable. They would start the day at 7 am complaining and bitching about how they hated everything and it never made sense to me why these people where even in show biz in the first place if they hated it so much. So I always chose to be the nice guy... The helpful guy... If a light needed to be placed I would place it, if a chair needed to be moved I'd move it... If the talent needed water, I would go & get it for them... There was nothing I wouldn't do to try & make the day just a little bit nicer, a little bit happier, so that we could all accomplish the job at hand.... Which was getting the movie shot!
Now I have only worked on a handful of productions out here on the east coast since I have been back from LA & the one thing that I have found is that all anyone seems to do out here is TALK ABOUT HOLLYWOOD.... Everyone seems so HELL BENT on BEING like Hollywood.... Acting like they think Hollywood is.... Using fancy terms.... Big titles.... almost putting more importance on talking about a shot with the proper vernacular & Buzz words that would make them seem like Hollywood big shots, than to actually just do the shot without all the damn Jingo & jargon that would befit a Hollywood production!
On one shoot I worked on as a grip making $4.16 cents an hour (yes, I actually figured out how much I was being paid by the hour) I was actually fired after the DP asked me several times to get him some C-64's... This was in front of 6 or 8 crew members (I never could figure out why the hell there was so many crew on this shoot, we were shooting in a small cramped basement room... & none of them seemed to be doing anything.... That's another pet peeve of mine, directors having huge crews just to satisfy & stroke their damn ego's).... Anyways, I scratched my head & felt like a fool in front of all these people looking at me, but I had no idea what the hell a C-64 was..... Finally after almost 2 minutes, the DP looked at me & said, "The Clothes Pin, I need a couple clothes pins!"
Now why couldn't he have just said that in the first place once he realized that I didn't know what a C-64 was.... BUT NO..... This guy just wanted it all to sink in & deliberately wanted to belittle me in front of a room full of useless people..... He actually enjoyed waiting for me to ask him, "I don't know what you want?"... Should I have known a clothes pin is called a C-64?... Sure I should have, but jesus, couldn't he have cut me some slack?
Previous to this, he had spent the whole day barley even acknowledging me as I spent the day bending over backwards, keeping my mouth shut, running extension cords all over the place, getting lights, stands, gels & scrims & doing the best I could to help the production along. It wasn't as if I was drunk, screwing around, talking, being disruptive & just hanging out all day doing nothing... I actually worked hard lugging some heavy equipment around & being right by his side to get him whatever he needed & he never once even said hello to me, or even thanked me when I ran around getting stuff like a good little gofer grip.
I mean, this guy came in with an attitude that was high & mighty right from the start of the day because he was the Director of Photography & I could sense that I was just a lowly grip (not to mention that I was probably twice his age, which made me feel like even more of a loser than I already felt)... & I just went about the day doing what I was told to do with no complaints whatsoever..... And then at the end of the day when he fired me, he seemed to really enjoy it!
On another shoot I worked on as a cameraman, this young kid, an Emerson graduate, was all talk about Hollywood this & Hollywood that... He talked loud & made damn sure that the 8 people waiting around could hear him and understood that HE was the Director of Photography.... This guy just reeked of ATTITUDE... & It just seemed crazy to me to be so hung up on titles & to cop an attitude in front of all these people..... It was just embarrassing.... But I shut my mouth because I had worked with the director before & I liked him & didn't want to cause problems on the shoot.
So like an idiot, the director & I did all of the lugging of equipment up 3 flights of stairs, while this DP & his assistant went & got pizza! I bent over backwards to be friendly & polite & asked him what I could do to help & he just treated me like I was some homeless bum off the street looking for a bottle of booze.
The final straw was when he asked me to go downstairs to grab another sandbag & when I did, he couldn't believe I just dropped it on the floor 5 feet away from him... he actually expected me to bring it right to him & put it exactly where he was going to tell me to! I fumed, but kept my composure for the good of the shoot & just quietly walked way & waited for him to be ready.
After this DP spent over 3 hours setting up 2 lights & a jib, keeping 8 people waiting... he turned to the assembled cast & said, "Welcome to Hollywood!"
The point of all this is: That I came back east because I was fed up with the Hollywood attitudes & now all I seem to be surrounded by is people with A HOLLYWOOD ATTITUDE..... And we aint even in Hollywood!
Its nice to know the right terminology & the proper things you need to do to complete a production.... But so far, out here..... I just seem to run into people were its ALL ABOUT the Show biz Jargon... The Hollywood Glitz.... It's more important to look & sound & act the Hollywood part.... Than it is to just COMPLETE THE PRODUCTION!
So the lesson to be learned out here kids is this: ...... What's more important to you? To do a good job, be creative, make some money & be proud of your work......
Or to look & act COOL like you think HOLLYWOOD big wigs would & to slow down the shoot with a bunch of garbage talk, debate, useless fancy terms, Titles, big Ego's & ATTITUDES?????......
I know there are some really cool & talented people out here just waiting to shine..... And I hope that these people that I have been dealing with are NOT THE NORM..... That they are FREAKS..... & do not represent the basic attitude of most film makers out here on the east coast.
Good luck people in your search for your dreams..... I hope you do well.... treat people with respect & decency.... & create the ART that YOU want to make!
I would love it if you PEOPLE would make some comments on what I have written..... Tell me I'm wrong.... Give me your opinion..... Let people know about YOUR experiences in film making out here on the east coast..... We all need to share each others experiences.... good and bad.... Maybe that way, it can help us all learn to make a better film community out here on the east coast that may someday rival Hollywood!
For I am: Craig Amabello, an X-Hollywood Reject!
PLEASE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY ROCK VIDEOS THAT I DIRECTED, SHOT AND EDITED OUT IN HOLLYWOOD AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.... I would love to hear what people think of my work... I need feed back to know if my work is any good or not:
just go to: http://www.hollywoodeasttv.com/profile/craigamabello
ALSO CHECK OUT MY WHACKY VLOGS ON YOUTUBE.... THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT... BUT MIGHT JUST MAKE "YOU" FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE!
http://www.youtube.com/craigsrealtv
Please Comment.... Rate.... and subscribe to my channel..... I always love to hear peoples opinions... even if its negative... As long as its real... & sincerely meant..... I don't care what you say about me..... BUT JUST SAY SOMETHING!
Hello All you good people out there in Boston & New England. Its your fine & friendly X-Hollywood Reject, Craig Amabello, reporting in from the local Nut house... Or is this a Crack house? I always get those two mixed up.
Anyways, I got a PAYING GIG!.... Yippee, Yahoooo. There actually are real business people out here with money & a budget. Can you believe that? I am one of 6 cameramen shooting a band tomorrow night at the Rock 101 Sky show in Manchester NH at the Arms Park.
The name of the group is The Gary Hoey band. They are headlining the show tomorrow night & I hear some great things about this band. Some real talented guys playing rock & roll. The buzz is that a few weeks ago Gary Hoey played an acoustic live song "Only Human" at the Rock 101 radio show & ever since then the song has been the most requested song & they have been playing it a lot & it seems like the band is really starting to take off here in New england. So being the smart guys that they seem to be, they want a video shot of this new hit of theirs, so they hired a BRILLIANT & TALENTED guy like myself, along with 5 other cameramen to capture tomorrow nights live performance at the Sky show.
So if any of you Cool people out there wanna see some really good bands, & the Headliner "Gary Hoey".... Come on down for a FREE CONCERT courtesy of Rock 101 in Manchester NH. They have the greatest FIREWORKS Show you will ever see in New England ( Hence, the name... Rock 101's Sky Show).
Hell, maybe you people can even say hello to me, or Throw Rocks at me, or Money... (But if your going to throw rocks at me, all I ask is that could you attach a hundred dollar bill to it, so that I can at least pay for some of my Medical bills).
Also on another note, I have been attempting to help out some Local small business people. (Well actually, it is a girl that wants to start a stripper bachelor party company... But hell, I'm all for young, entrepreneurial women empowering themselves by starting up their own business out here in New England... So I'm always willing to lend a hand). So being the nice guy that I am, I offered her as a sign of good will & faith, to shoot some head shots of her & some sexy outfits to help promote herself on the website she is building. She told me that she has LOTS of other girls that are going to need head shots & Photography & if I shoot her stills first..... FOR FREE....... She would get me a lot of work working with other girls.... Hmmmmmmm.... Where have I heard that before?
So anyways, I book studio time, on my dime, shoot some decent photo's of her, & the whole time I'm doing the shoot with her, she keeps mentioning that she wants to do a Porn movie. I let it slide & continue the shoot, (being the true Professional that I am) & she continues to mention her desire to do a Porno movie through out the entire still shoot. So I finally tell her, "Look, if you want to do a porn, well fine, we'll book another date & do a video shoot then". Long story short, I finish the shoot, go home, burn a cd, send them out to her that night & I wait a week...... & never hear a word from her. I finally email her, asking how she liked the photo's & she said there were some really nice pictures that I took, but she wished the lighting was better on some of the other pictures. (hell, I admit, my weakness is in lighting & we rushed through the shoot in 2 hours). Then she tells me, "When I learn how to light better, she MIGHT let me do a Porn movie of her!.... & then she stated that ALL these other girls that wanted head shots before were now suddenly only TWO girls & that they wouldn't be available for a few months!".... The Gall of some people.... I was totally SCAMMED by this young chick & you wonder why it is that I FAILED in HOLLYWOOD!
Then just last week, I received an email from a model that said she wanted me to do a shoot of her for the suicide girls website. She said she needed 3 sets of pictures & suicide girls would pay $800.00 for the entire shoot. She stated that she had no money to pay me but that if I would shoot these stills for her on SPEC, that she would split the $800.00 with me once she got paid. I reluctantly agreed, (still having a bad taste in my mouth after last months still shoot with the little scam artist stripper girl). So I call her & tell her that I have booked studio time & was ready to do the shoot & she explains to me that she wants to do the shoot out doors NAKED at a local cemetery! I tell her that I am not comfortable with that because we would be breaking the law doing nudity out in a public place & that is not how I do business. (As whacky as I may appear to you people, I truly am a professional, & always work within the law). My gigs may seem weird to some, but I WILL SHOOT ALMOST ANYTHING, as long as it is LEGAL... This is how I learned to survive out in Hollywood, & you have to understand that I do not JUDGE people by the gigs I do, or what they do... A job is a job & I always do the best that I can to be professional, do a great job & to treat clients with courtesy, dignity & respect. It is not for me to judge what others do..... And if a client wants to hang upside down, naked, with her hair on fire & crocodiles snapping at her head.... Well that is just fine with me, as long as they understand exactly what it is they are getting into & how potentially dangerous something like this may be! Anyways...... After booking studio time again, & explaining what we could shoot at the studio to this wanna-be suicide girl.... She completely blows me off & I never hear from her again!
So does this give you people some kind of clue as to why I am a failure in life, with my show biz career, with my directing, with my video & photography business.... & my UTTER FAILURE IN HOLLYWOOD? After all these years in show biz..... I am still naive & foolish enough to take people at their word. To allow people to LIE to me... To SCAM me..... because I still want to believe in people & take them at their word & not try to judge them.... When the hell will I EVER LEARN???????
Well, that's all I have to say for now good people of Boston.... I hope some of you out there are being productive... Making money... Creating some cool, Fun Art...... I know I am still struggling everyday to barely get by, but I refuse to quit!.... But I have to admit.... there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I was back in Hollywood!
This has been another show biz blog on "Notes from the edge"... from your friendly X-Hollywood Reject..... Craig Amabello.
