Hello Boston.... Hello Beanywood.... This is your good ole X-Hollywood Reject, Craig Amabello reporting in from the bottom of the barrel of life in New England.
After 5 years of laboring in Vain... Sending out OVER 3,000 RESUMES... Approximately 6,000 Emails.... Countless phone calls.... Attempting to get ANY KIND OF LOW BUDGET FILM & VIDEO PRODUCTION WORK out here in New England.... Offering myself to individuals.... Companies.... Groups of people that may need a Professional DIRECTOR... SHOOTER... OR EDITOR with 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE...... I have come to the sad & Frustrating conclusion that......
It is impossible for ME to get ANY CRAPPY LOW PAYING GIGS OUT HERE DOING ANY CRAPPY LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION!!!!!
I GIVE UP ON THE BOSTON FILM MAKING COMMUNITY.... ON NEW ENGLAND DIRECTORS... ARTISTS... BUSINESSMEN & WOMEN.....
ON BOSTON & NEW ENGLAND PEOPLE IN GENERAL!
OR ANYBODY OUT HERE FOR THAT MATTER..... THAT EXPECTS YOU TO WORK LIKE A FRIGGIN "SLAVE" FOR NOTHING BUT THE BETTERMENT OF THEMSELVES & THE PROMISE OF "MAYBE" PAYING GIGS SOMEDAY IN THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!
In 12 years.... On my WORST day's in Los Angeles.... On my Worst Gigs.... Shooting PORN.... For Low Budget.... DERANGED, NAZI, SCUM-BAG, FOREIGNERS... I Made MORE Money & was TREATED BETTER..... THAN ANY GIG I HAVE BEEEN OFFERED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND IN 5 YEARS!!!!!!
Just let that sentence sink in for a minute Folks..... Imagine how BAD my Lowest Paying & Worst Days out in HOLLYWOOD could have been....... & THEY STILL HAVE BEEN BETTER DAYS & PAY..... THAN ANY GIGS EVER OFFERED OUT HERE!!!
That THOUGHT alone..... is so very disturbingly twisted & sad on SO MANY LEVELS.... as to actually BOGGLE THE IMAGINATION.... & MELT the Mind of any Vaguely, Self Respecting human being that would make ANYONE HOLD THEIR HANDS UP & SCREAM........
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THS PICTURE??????".... "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"
I AM OFFERING MYSELF LIKE A CHEAP 10 DOLLAR TAIWANESE LADY BOY AT 3 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN BANGKOK WITH A ROOM FULL OF DRUNKEN, WHITE, AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN...... & I STILL GET NO OFFERS!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........
What Amazes me is even more IS.... HOW THE HELL DO ALL YOU REST OF YOU PEOPLE OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND MAKE A LIVING DOING PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION WORK ????
I don't have a freakin clue anymore than an Opium smokin Chinamen in a French Whorehouse selling vibrators to Lithuanian Lesbian Nuns, While Catholic Priests try to start their own Daycare center for School boys & can't fathom why..... things ain't going right for them!!!!
I am sick of PRETENTIOUS NOBODIES demanding MEETINGS & offering NO PAYING GIGS in Return! The few offers that I have had have been for NO MONEY... Just A Bunch of TALK about BACK END DEALS that MAY make us all lots of money somewhere in the future for some FAR OFF potential Projects.... BUT FIRST.... I NEED YOU TO WORK FOR ME FOR FREE!
That Crap talk is for LOSERS... BY LOSERS... & let me tell you...
ONE PERSON out of 1,000,000 MAY be worth that kind of CONSIDERATION.....
But none of these EGOTISTICAL... LOUDMOUTH.... SELF BLOATED... SELF RIGHTEOUS... IDIOTS that I have talked to out here are even worth doing business with for ANY money at all!!!!
REALITY CHECK:.... In the REAL WORLD.... You don't have your toilet fixed BUT FIRST TELL THE PLUMBER you need to have a meeting with them so that YOU can CHECK THEM OUT & then explain to them that if this job PAYS NO MONEY.... BUT if it goes ok... In the future you might have several more jobs for them that are much BETTER & ACTUALLY PAY REAL MONEY!!!
In what TWILIGHT ZONE DO THESE "ARTY FARTY"... SELF INVOLVED MORONS come from to think that this is not only NORMAL BEHAVIOR & LOGIC.......
BUT...... THAT IT HAS ACTUALLY BECOME "ACCEPTABLE".... & "STANDARD" PRACTICE OF DOING BUSINESS IN THE "MOVIE WORLD" OUT HERE!!!!!
This is all BULLSHIT SOCIO-PATHIC BEHAVIOR!.....
Don't EVER... let ANYBODY Convince YOU otherwise!!!!!!!!!
My last offer for work came from a Boston Business man that is running the "Boston Music Festival" and all he wanted from me was:
Put together 5 video production crews (of at least 3 people each) to shoot at 5 different nightclubs a night at destinations All over Boston for 5 straight days covering over 130 bands, (Also needing me to SHOOT Camera Myself at one of the clubs each night) & then put together an edited show for Broadcast on Cable, then do a DVD for "Best of performances", another edit for Website exposure, & one more video for the individual bands & only wanted to set up several KEY meetings with me & the other BIG Producers, cable company & businessmen while also scouting the locations of half a dozen nightclubs!
& get this............. HE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME A WEBSITE FOR ALL OF THIS WORK!!!!!!
In the REAL WORLD.... NOT THE BOSTON INSANE WORLD....
This was a $10,000 dollar gig just for myself.... And that would be a rock bottom low end price tag!
And this guy actually had the nerve to tell me that my Credentials were IMPRESSIVE & THAT HE HAD SEEN SAMPLES OF MY WORK & WAS SURE THAT I WAS NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HIGHLY SKILLED & THAT I WAS THE MAN FOR THE JOB & THAT HE DESPERATELY NEEDED THE SERVICES OF SOMEONE WITH MY BACKGROUND & KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!
& then he called me & emailed me several times BAFFLED that I wouldn't return his calls & set up Meetings with him & his people!
& then when I Politely & calmly & Professionally explained to this MADMAN That I work for Gringo dollars & actually need to MAKE REAL MONEY to PAY actual bills because My IMAGINARY FRIENDS JUST DON'T LIVE IN MY MIND! He actually got INDIGNANT & MENTIONED THAT HE WAS POTENTIALLY GOING TO THROW A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF BUSINESS MY WAY & I WAS ACTING EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL BY "BLOWING HIM & HIS OFFER OFF!"
Now Kids.... I ain't smokin crack... & I am not Delusional, or IMAGINING THESE THINGS..... But how could any SANE HUMAN BEING SAY THIS CRAP TO SOMEBODY & NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY??????
So I am Utterly Baffled here folks..... I have no clue as to how I'm going to Survive.... Or how I'm going to get through this drought & RUT I'm in...... But I'll tell you this kids... I am no longer going to SUFFER THESE DELUSIONAL, INSANE, EGOMANIACS OUT HERE IN BOSTON ANY LONGER!!!!!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...... I HAVE TO HOLD ON TO MY LAST SHRED OF DIGNITY & SAY "SCREW THIS BULLSHIT!"
It's sad.... But there are so many SMALL minded people.... So many JEALOUS PEOPLE OUT HERE IN BOSTON.... SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE.... "L S" (yes, the one from your very own Beanywood site) that act, think, walk & talk like THEY are "IN THE KNOW, HOLLYWOOD SHOW BIZ PEOPLE"...
But in fact are just very egomaniacal, jaded, close minded, Snobby, Elitist individuals that want to keep others down... refuse to Communicate (because god knows I have tried several times to get in touch with her & have always been extremely polite & Ass kissey... But this has been of no avail to me anyways)....
& I truly Hope you Good people out there understand that this type of behavior is SYMPTOMATIC OF NARCISSISTIC, PRETENTIOUS, BETTER THAN THOU, ARTY FARTY I AM "OH SO MUCH MORE HOLLYWOOD THAN YOU CRAP" That is bringing this city into the GUTTER FASTER THAN THE TWIN TOWERS COULD FALL!
We don't need another Arrogant idiot with power trying to build themselves up by tearing others down & feeling oh so SUPERIOR in the Process!!!
Boston people need to be Rational..... Human.... REAL....
STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD!!!!
HOLLYWOOD IS FULL OF SICK, TWISTED SCUM!
If this town ever has a chance of giving Talented, decent, hardworking, creative people a chance.... It needs to get real & come down of it's High Horse & start making sense in the REAL WORLD!
NOT THE STUPID SCREWED UP FAKE WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD!
1 HOLLYWOOD IS BAD ENOUGH KIDS....... WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER!
So to all the Decent, Talented & hardworking people out here in New England (because I know there MUST be at least a few of you out there)..... I wish YOU luck!
I have HIT A BRICK WALL out here in Boston..... I need to Re-Think.... Re-Plan... Re-build, what I was already trying to rebuild from my Twisted life left over from my Hollywood yesteryears.
But I do know this kids from experience.... Don't TRY to ACT like HOLLYWOOD.... HOLLYWOOD SUCKS!
Just be yourselves... Be real... Be decent to other Human beings.... Hollywood is HOLLOW.... SHALLOW.... HEARTLESS.... UNFORGIVING...... CRUEL... EMPTY.... DEAD.... COLD.
Ask yourself this people... Is this what you want to be when YOU grow up? Is that what you Aspire to? I hope not.
Wish me luck kids.....
Because..... As dear ole Bon Scott from AC/DC always said: it's a "LONG WAY TO THE TOP..... IF YOU WANNA ROCK & ROLL"!
Goodbye for now, from your X-Hollywood Show Biz Rebel......... Craig Amabello
P.S: Always remember to check out my work, Thoughts & Life at http://www.youtube.com/CraigsRealTv
Because Boys & Girls.... I will ALways tell it like it is..... EVEN IF IT HURTS Both..... YOU & ME!
Hello Beanywood..... Hello New England film makers...
Craig Amabello here, checkinin from the twilight zone where I have been floating aimlessly after welding Jet propulsion packs to kittens and launching them into outer space just so I could get a better view of planet earth!
I have a very serious question to ask... Have I personally done something wrong to the people here at Beanywood? Have I kicked their precious little doggy? Have I squashed their darling lil Kitty?
I ask this, because after 1 year and 27 blogs that I have written on this site and over 21,000 views.... I HAVE NEVER ONCE BEEN PLACED AS A "SELECTED BLOGGER"!
WHY??????....... DID I SAY SOMETHING TO OFFEND SOMEBODY?...... ARE MY BLOGS THAT CRAPPY?
I am sure many more people would stumble on my blogs, but how can they ever find them? I truly wish I knew what to do to get my blogs placed on the front page under the selected blogger section. I constantly see the same 1 or 2 people with 3 & sometimes 4 blogs in a row placed under the Selected blogger section. It makes it look like those few people are the ONLY ones writing Blogs here on Beanywood.
As childish & stupid as this sounds.... MY FEELINGS ARE HURT!.... I have even emailed the people that run this site & never heard back from them about this question. I do the best I can to make my writing INFORMATIVE..... TOPICAL.... HUMOROUS.... and POSITIVE about movie making here in New England.
Now I know that my blogs tend to get very cynical & negative at times, but I always try to have something POSITIVE to say at least once in each blog. But if my blogs are cynical, its just because I am commenting on what is happening to ME out here in New England trying DESPERATELY to get production work here on the east coast.
So if any of you people out there like reading my weird & hopefully humorous & informative blogs.... I would love it if you could let the owners of this site know that! ...... Or even leave some comments so that I would know if any of you out their like my Blogging style. Sometimes I feel so alone out here in outer space.... like nobody even gets my blogs... Or has any of their own stories to tell about production work out here in New England.
I am here to entertain & to inform..... & I hope I have done a little bit of both for you people who want to know more about film making out here in New England and film making in Hollywood.
Because I do know a little bit about both, because I am: Craig Amabello an X-Hollywood Reject.
PLEASE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY ROCK VIDEOS THAT I DIRECTED, SHOT AND EDITED OUT IN HOLLYWOOD AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.... I would love to hear what people think of my work... I need feed back to know if my work is any good or not:
just go to: http://www.hollywoodeasttv.com/profile/craigamabello
ALSO CHECK OUT MY WHACKY VLOGS ON YOUTUBE.... THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT... BUT MIGHT JUST MAKE "YOU" FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE!
http://www.youtube.com/craigsrealtv
Please Comment.... Rate.... and subscribe to my channel..... I always love to hear peoples opinions... even if its negative... As long as its real... & sincerely meant..... I don't care what you say about me..... BUT JUST SAY SOMETHING!
So here's my report from the the set of This Side of the Truth, the new Ricky Gervais movie shooting in Lowell (written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Matt Robinson, starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, Louis C.K., etc. I had a little part in a scene that shot last Friday.).I had 9:00 a.m. call, which was great (6:00 a.m. calls are not fun). I had a few bites of bacon 'n' eggs 'n' home fries before I was called in to hair and makeup. I was done with all that by 10:00, but my on-set call wasn't until 11:3o. So I popped over to my trailer (the "honeywagon") and got settled in.Now, the "rider" on my contract specifies some very extravagant amenities that I require if I am to perform at my best. The most important? Two bottles of Poland Springs water and an extra tiny sink (I like to feel giant in my trailer). And fancy paper towels that I think were made from sandpaper and rusty nails.I also require a very tiny piece of foliage in my trailer. I call it a tree and feel EXTRA giant. (seriously, this was in my trailer. I don't know why.) As I said, my on-set call wasn't until 11:30. They weren't actually ready for me until 12:30. So I hung out in my trailer with some weirdo. (But seriously, I was treated great by the ADs, PAs, wardrobe, and everyone else. Especially craft services...mmm...snacks...)
So, it was time to shoot. This was a short but big scene. Over 200 extras. The other actors in the scene were great. Remember the Seinfeld episode "The Pilot" where they're shooting the TV show? With a TV versions of George, Kramer, and Elaine? One of my cohorts was Elena Wohl, who played "TV Elaine". She was great to work with. Also in the scene were Nathan Corddry (real nice guy), who you might know from "The Daily Show", Roz Ryan (she sings in her trailer), and co-director Matt Robinson had a cameo. And, of course, Ricky Gervais (very funny--check out his blog at www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php).
Shooting went well. A bit cold, though. We got most of the shots without any problems. But then the rain came. Back to the trailer for me. And lots of waiting. And drinking coffee. And chatting. And looking for good snacks because lunch wasn't until 4:00 and we were getting hungry. But mostly a lot of sitting in my trailer, hiding from the rain, staring at the wall. Which reminds me. ALWAYS bring a book or newspaper or crossword puzzle with you when you go to a shoot. I, of course, had not planned for this. So I stared at the wall. A lot. And listened to my belly rumble.The rain let up briefly, but Jennifer Garner had just popped by, so they shot a quick scene with her. I was in my trailer at the time, but I hear she did fine without me.
Finally it was lunchtime. At 4:00 (I think they call that dinner in some places). Yummo. And more rain. And more waiting. And then they sent me home without shooting anything else. Sort of anticlimactic, I know. All in all, I had a great time, met some great people, and can't wait to do it again.
I saw a final cut of THE GATEWAY MEAT, filmed in Massachusetts. I appear in the film, I get brutally murdered and got to write my own death scene. Unfortunately my face is bound up with duct tape and we shot for 8 or 10 hours and I couldn't see and was covered in cold fake blood all day. The DVD will be out soon. The film is AMAZING- oh my god- so gory! I was only in a small part and did not see the script so knew nothing about the plot of the film or anything about it except my scenes.
Also out soon on DVD:
Countess Bathoria's Graveyard Picture Show, which debuted at the Fantasia Film Fest, and which I co-wrote.
I am writing for The Independent Magazine website and will be interviewing Jeremy Kasten, director of the upcoming remake of The Wizard of Gore.
I have an interview in the next Girls and Corpses magazine with Erik Ruhling, author of Infernal Device, an illustrated book of torture devices.
Although I put it aside months and months ago it looks like my script A Fistful of Anger may be optioned.
These days, porn is on everyones mind it seems. From wholesome young kids in school, middle aged working women joking at the office, to creepy old perverted men working lonely 3rd shift security jobs. So why should Kevin Smith be any different?
Kevin Smith is the writer/director of Clerks I & II and many other funny, successful flicks. He tells the average males down & out loser stories better than most, and has an empathy for that kind of character.
So it is of no surprise that his latest flick, "Zak and Miri make a porno", a 25 million dollar budgeted feature from the Weinstein Co. is going into production January 2008 in Pittsburgh Penn.
kevin calls it "a love story. Zak and Miri just want to make a good old-fashioned dirty movie because they are in deep financial trouble and need to raise money fast.”
The film will star Seth Rogen (knocked up) and Elizabeth Banks (The 40 year old virgin) along with Jason Mewes (kevin's long time side kick "Jay" from Clerks I and II and Jay and Silent Bob go to hollywood fame). There are several other key pieces of casting not yet revealed. Kevin Smith stated: “I can’t wait to reveal the rest of the cast. A key piece of the puzzle just fell into place yesterday, and it’s a genius bit of casting. This is gonna be fun”.
Is this movie a gamble? I think not. Porn is everywhere. Porn is legitimate. It's not something dirty, hidden under your uncles bed anymore. Porn has become so acceptable to the masses that the average person can talk openly about it at the office, or see references to it on network television on a daily basis. This is all thanks to the Internet, which from day one, has fed the porn hungry masses and has brought hardcore pornography into practically everybody's homes.
kevin never hid his love of porn. Starting from Clerks I, with the video clerk ordering despicable porn titles such as anal rump rangers in front of a horrified women patron, to Clerks II where they put on a full blown donkey porn show. Porn references were always littered through out his scripts. Anyone that was paying attention could see where he was heading with all of this.
If anyone can pull this off, a main stream, big budget flick about porn, Kevin Smith just might be the man to do it. He has the average mans sensibilities. He knows how to speak to, and reach his audience. With this movie, Kevin has just decided to take his love of porn and the average persons love of porn, to the next logical step.
Is this the first big budget mainstream porn movie to reach the masses? No... It has been done before: National Lampoon's "Barely Legal" released in 2005 was about 3 high schoolers that made their own porn and it did alright business, but it wasn't a huge success.
The Weinstein brothers are no dummy's. They know the time is right to make a blockbuster out of a main stream movie about porn, and Kevin Smith is the perfect director to help bring it all together.
This does bum me out a little, because I have been threatening to make a mainstream comedy about the porn world for years. Leave it to Kevin Smith to beat Craig Amabello to the punch.... But he has far more experience and skill at these things than I do. This is what I get for sitting on my ass and not actually getting to work on MY script and start shooting MY own movie about the porn world..... A world in which I am most intimately acquainted.... But I'm sure there's room for several blockbuster movies about porn and I am hoping that mine will be one of them!
My very first SARCASTIC Blog posted here on Beanywood about... I wanna go back to Hollywood where people truly do care for one another..... Has been lost in Translation!
The whole basis of that particular blog was based on the fact that "I" (being one of the very few people here on Beanywood), to have actually Lived, worked, suffered & survived in Hollywood California for 12 years in the movie business could not even BEG, BORROW OR STEAL A CRAPPY FILM GIG OUT HERE IN BOSTON!
That for several years now I have done everything imaginable to attempt to hitch up with New England Professional film makers & I couldn't get anyone to even SPIT ON ME!
This Phenomenon has utterly BAFFLED me.... CONFUSED me.... HURT & SHATTERED (most of what was left of my confidence) & has thoroughly made me so distraught wondering: If a seasoned PRO from Hollywood couldn't wrangle up a 10 cent film job here in Boston.... THEN WHO THE HELL COULD????
All this failure in Hollywood (not knowing how to advance the ladder of success after 12 long, heart breaking years) to then coming back, to my home town turf & not being able to even get a friggin PA job WORKING FOR FREE!....
Can you imagine what that feels like? What it does to ones Soul? To the shattered remnants of ones dreams?
ITS MIND NUMBING!... HEARTBREAKING..... IT'S CATASTROPHIC TO EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING!
This has put me in a horrible tailspin in a deep black hole of depression, despair & utter shock.
Do you folks wanna know what its like to feel like a complete failure? An absolute Loser? A shell shocked Hollywood causality?
Do you know how it feels Living in a complete vacuum of confusion.... knowing that you have failed in Hollywood & then..... Come home... beaten... tail between your legs... kicked in the face & then spend years attempting to find ANY KIND OF LOW END FILM GIG OUT IN BOSTON..... & COMPLETELY BOMB?
It is times such as these that the truly inspired, the true masters of their own destiny.... come into their own.... Positive Creativity can be born from such negative circumstances. I shall make my mark on this world yet... I am not beaten.... I am just down for the count in a temporary set-back!
It has been brought to my attention that I come across as ARROGANT.... SELF ENTITLED... EXCLUSIONARY... RUDE...
I have been ACCUSED of bringing MY HOLLYWOOD ATTITUDE back with me to this fine town of Boston........ But I say: THIS IS ALL COMPLETELY BACKWARDS!
What has disillusioned me to the Boston film community is the poor attitudes of so many people (both young & old) attempting to MIMIC some false, misguided idea of 'WHAT THEY THINK" Hollywood is. Big words... Big tales... all attitude... A fast track to fame & fortune on hollow wings of gold... Rising to the pinnacle of Hollywood moviedom off the broken backs of Peons that go unnoticed & un appreciated & do ALL of the work.
THIS IS BAD THINKING.... THIS IS BACKWARDS... THIS IS WRONG... THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED... THIS ACTUALLY GOES ON EVERYWHERE IN LIFE..... BUT JESUS PEOPLE....... ARE WE EVER GOING TO LEARN? CAN WE NOT LEARN TO BE DECENT & HUMANE TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE ARTS?
I say light & silly things (to hide my depth)... I attempt to be witty, funny & informative (and many times fall flat on my face)... But I have noticed that this town, born of PURITAN BELIEFS.... Still wreaks of small minded, BIG TALKING FOOLS.
I do not say this out of hatred & anger... But out of deep sadness & despair... As humans, we need to rise above the human condition & grow..... But we can never grow..... if people still have the same damn closed minded attitudes of the 16th century.
Elitism does not rule... At least, IT SHOULD NOT RULE....
Good, creative, film making people of Boston, show those simpleton fools that want to bully people, that will not be tolerated here. There still is a chance for there to be a fine film community here in Boston. But first, the good people... the kind people... the truly creative people, need to let it be known that PETTY, BULLSHIT, ARROGANT, USER FOOLS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED HERE!
That I have gone through all of this horrible behavior BEFORE.... IN HOLLYWOOD.... for so many years... only to turn around NOW... & find it here in Boston..... IS INTOLERABLE.
Let's work together & Create some Cool Stuff people...... Who's with me?
Just another note from the edge, from your twisted friend, & truly Demented Reporter of life, Craig Amabello The X-Hollywood Reject
