So here's my report from the the set of This Side of the Truth, the new Ricky Gervais movie shooting in Lowell (written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Matt Robinson, starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, Louis C.K., etc. I had a little part in a scene that shot last Friday.).I had 9:00 a.m. call, which was great (6:00 a.m. calls are not fun). I had a few bites of bacon 'n' eggs 'n' home fries before I was called in to hair and makeup. I was done with all that by 10:00, but my on-set call wasn't until 11:3o. So I popped over to my trailer (the "honeywagon") and got settled in.Now, the "rider" on my contract specifies some very extravagant amenities that I require if I am to perform at my best. The most important? Two bottles of Poland Springs water and an extra tiny sink (I like to feel giant in my trailer). And fancy paper towels that I think were made from sandpaper and rusty nails.I also require a very tiny piece of foliage in my trailer. I call it a tree and feel EXTRA giant. (seriously, this was in my trailer. I don't know why.) As I said, my on-set call wasn't until 11:30. They weren't actually ready for me until 12:30. So I hung out in my trailer with some weirdo. (But seriously, I was treated great by the ADs, PAs, wardrobe, and everyone else. Especially craft services...mmm...snacks...)
So, it was time to shoot. This was a short but big scene. Over 200 extras. The other actors in the scene were great. Remember the Seinfeld episode "The Pilot" where they're shooting the TV show? With a TV versions of George, Kramer, and Elaine? One of my cohorts was Elena Wohl, who played "TV Elaine". She was great to work with. Also in the scene were Nathan Corddry (real nice guy), who you might know from "The Daily Show", Roz Ryan (she sings in her trailer), and co-director Matt Robinson had a cameo. And, of course, Ricky Gervais (very funny--check out his blog at www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php).
Shooting went well. A bit cold, though. We got most of the shots without any problems. But then the rain came. Back to the trailer for me. And lots of waiting. And drinking coffee. And chatting. And looking for good snacks because lunch wasn't until 4:00 and we were getting hungry. But mostly a lot of sitting in my trailer, hiding from the rain, staring at the wall. Which reminds me. ALWAYS bring a book or newspaper or crossword puzzle with you when you go to a shoot. I, of course, had not planned for this. So I stared at the wall. A lot. And listened to my belly rumble.The rain let up briefly, but Jennifer Garner had just popped by, so they shot a quick scene with her. I was in my trailer at the time, but I hear she did fine without me.
Finally it was lunchtime. At 4:00 (I think they call that dinner in some places). Yummo. And more rain. And more waiting. And then they sent me home without shooting anything else. Sort of anticlimactic, I know. All in all, I had a great time, met some great people, and can't wait to do it again.
I saw a final cut of THE GATEWAY MEAT, filmed in Massachusetts. I appear in the film, I get brutally murdered and got to write my own death scene. Unfortunately my face is bound up with duct tape and we shot for 8 or 10 hours and I couldn't see and was covered in cold fake blood all day. The DVD will be out soon. The film is AMAZING- oh my god- so gory! I was only in a small part and did not see the script so knew nothing about the plot of the film or anything about it except my scenes.
Also out soon on DVD:
Countess Bathoria's Graveyard Picture Show, which debuted at the Fantasia Film Fest, and which I co-wrote.
I am writing for The Independent Magazine website and will be interviewing Jeremy Kasten, director of the upcoming remake of The Wizard of Gore.
I have an interview in the next Girls and Corpses magazine with Erik Ruhling, author of Infernal Device, an illustrated book of torture devices.
Although I put it aside months and months ago it looks like my script A Fistful of Anger may be optioned.
These days, porn is on everyones mind it seems. From wholesome young kids in school, middle aged working women joking at the office, to creepy old perverted men working lonely 3rd shift security jobs. So why should Kevin Smith be any different?
Kevin Smith is the writer/director of Clerks I & II and many other funny, successful flicks. He tells the average males down & out loser stories better than most, and has an empathy for that kind of character.
So it is of no surprise that his latest flick, "Zak and Miri make a porno", a 25 million dollar budgeted feature from the Weinstein Co. is going into production January 2008 in Pittsburgh Penn.
kevin calls it "a love story. Zak and Miri just want to make a good old-fashioned dirty movie because they are in deep financial trouble and need to raise money fast.”
The film will star Seth Rogen (knocked up) and Elizabeth Banks (The 40 year old virgin) along with Jason Mewes (kevin's long time side kick "Jay" from Clerks I and II and Jay and Silent Bob go to hollywood fame). There are several other key pieces of casting not yet revealed. Kevin Smith stated: “I can’t wait to reveal the rest of the cast. A key piece of the puzzle just fell into place yesterday, and it’s a genius bit of casting. This is gonna be fun”.
Is this movie a gamble? I think not. Porn is everywhere. Porn is legitimate. It's not something dirty, hidden under your uncles bed anymore. Porn has become so acceptable to the masses that the average person can talk openly about it at the office, or see references to it on network television on a daily basis. This is all thanks to the Internet, which from day one, has fed the porn hungry masses and has brought hardcore pornography into practically everybody's homes.
kevin never hid his love of porn. Starting from Clerks I, with the video clerk ordering despicable porn titles such as anal rump rangers in front of a horrified women patron, to Clerks II where they put on a full blown donkey porn show. Porn references were always littered through out his scripts. Anyone that was paying attention could see where he was heading with all of this.
If anyone can pull this off, a main stream, big budget flick about porn, Kevin Smith just might be the man to do it. He has the average mans sensibilities. He knows how to speak to, and reach his audience. With this movie, Kevin has just decided to take his love of porn and the average persons love of porn, to the next logical step.
Is this the first big budget mainstream porn movie to reach the masses? No... It has been done before: National Lampoon's "Barely Legal" released in 2005 was about 3 high schoolers that made their own porn and it did alright business, but it wasn't a huge success.
The Weinstein brothers are no dummy's. They know the time is right to make a blockbuster out of a main stream movie about porn, and Kevin Smith is the perfect director to help bring it all together.
This does bum me out a little, because I have been threatening to make a mainstream comedy about the porn world for years. Leave it to Kevin Smith to beat Craig Amabello to the punch.... But he has far more experience and skill at these things than I do. This is what I get for sitting on my ass and not actually getting to work on MY script and start shooting MY own movie about the porn world..... A world in which I am most intimately acquainted.... But I'm sure there's room for several blockbuster movies about porn and I am hoping that mine will be one of them!
My very first SARCASTIC Blog posted here on Beanywood about... I wanna go back to Hollywood where people truly do care for one another..... Has been lost in Translation!
The whole basis of that particular blog was based on the fact that "I" (being one of the very few people here on Beanywood), to have actually Lived, worked, suffered & survived in Hollywood California for 12 years in the movie business could not even BEG, BORROW OR STEAL A CRAPPY FILM GIG OUT HERE IN BOSTON!
That for several years now I have done everything imaginable to attempt to hitch up with New England Professional film makers & I couldn't get anyone to even SPIT ON ME!
This Phenomenon has utterly BAFFLED me.... CONFUSED me.... HURT & SHATTERED (most of what was left of my confidence) & has thoroughly made me so distraught wondering: If a seasoned PRO from Hollywood couldn't wrangle up a 10 cent film job here in Boston.... THEN WHO THE HELL COULD????
All this failure in Hollywood (not knowing how to advance the ladder of success after 12 long, heart breaking years) to then coming back, to my home town turf & not being able to even get a friggin PA job WORKING FOR FREE!....
Can you imagine what that feels like? What it does to ones Soul? To the shattered remnants of ones dreams?
ITS MIND NUMBING!... HEARTBREAKING..... IT'S CATASTROPHIC TO EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING!
This has put me in a horrible tailspin in a deep black hole of depression, despair & utter shock.
Do you folks wanna know what its like to feel like a complete failure? An absolute Loser? A shell shocked Hollywood causality?
Do you know how it feels Living in a complete vacuum of confusion.... knowing that you have failed in Hollywood & then..... Come home... beaten... tail between your legs... kicked in the face & then spend years attempting to find ANY KIND OF LOW END FILM GIG OUT IN BOSTON..... & COMPLETELY BOMB?
It is times such as these that the truly inspired, the true masters of their own destiny.... come into their own.... Positive Creativity can be born from such negative circumstances. I shall make my mark on this world yet... I am not beaten.... I am just down for the count in a temporary set-back!
It has been brought to my attention that I come across as ARROGANT.... SELF ENTITLED... EXCLUSIONARY... RUDE...
I have been ACCUSED of bringing MY HOLLYWOOD ATTITUDE back with me to this fine town of Boston........ But I say: THIS IS ALL COMPLETELY BACKWARDS!
What has disillusioned me to the Boston film community is the poor attitudes of so many people (both young & old) attempting to MIMIC some false, misguided idea of 'WHAT THEY THINK" Hollywood is. Big words... Big tales... all attitude... A fast track to fame & fortune on hollow wings of gold... Rising to the pinnacle of Hollywood moviedom off the broken backs of Peons that go unnoticed & un appreciated & do ALL of the work.
THIS IS BAD THINKING.... THIS IS BACKWARDS... THIS IS WRONG... THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED... THIS ACTUALLY GOES ON EVERYWHERE IN LIFE..... BUT JESUS PEOPLE....... ARE WE EVER GOING TO LEARN? CAN WE NOT LEARN TO BE DECENT & HUMANE TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE ARTS?
I say light & silly things (to hide my depth)... I attempt to be witty, funny & informative (and many times fall flat on my face)... But I have noticed that this town, born of PURITAN BELIEFS.... Still wreaks of small minded, BIG TALKING FOOLS.
I do not say this out of hatred & anger... But out of deep sadness & despair... As humans, we need to rise above the human condition & grow..... But we can never grow..... if people still have the same damn closed minded attitudes of the 16th century.
Elitism does not rule... At least, IT SHOULD NOT RULE....
Good, creative, film making people of Boston, show those simpleton fools that want to bully people, that will not be tolerated here. There still is a chance for there to be a fine film community here in Boston. But first, the good people... the kind people... the truly creative people, need to let it be known that PETTY, BULLSHIT, ARROGANT, USER FOOLS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED HERE!
That I have gone through all of this horrible behavior BEFORE.... IN HOLLYWOOD.... for so many years... only to turn around NOW... & find it here in Boston..... IS INTOLERABLE.
Let's work together & Create some Cool Stuff people...... Who's with me?
Just another note from the edge, from your twisted friend, & truly Demented Reporter of life, Craig Amabello The X-Hollywood Reject
Hello my dear Bostonians... Craig Amabello here... Your Truly Twisted & Demented X-Hollywood Reject phoning in from the front.
How are all of you film makers doing out there?
Are you living your dreams?
Are you attempting to live your dreams?
Do you just want to explode sometimes with frustration over not being able to create the Art that you truly know is inside you & SCREAMS to get out?
I know that I DO.... Everyday that goes by without another thing accomplished is truly another day wasted!
I am attempting to change my ways.... Lift my life above this crummy haze of dementia that spills over me like bad Whiskey.
Do any of you ever feel that nobody truly understands you?
Do you just want to get up & scream..... Time for a change!... Time to make my Destiny come true!
I know that I surely do.
I am a lost soul.... A brother of no man... A wandering Rock & Roll Gypsy that has his foot stuck in the big bad bear trap of life!
Time to shake off these shackles & get back to Reality....
Hollywood is calling my name.... I can hear her whispering my name in the winds...
Why won't SHE leave me alone?
Why do I hate & LOVE her so much?
Do any of you ever feel the same way that I do?
Or is it just me?... Trapped in my own mind... Shattered thoughts of Tattered dreams... Running around inside my head while all the rest of the voices Scream...... FEED ME! ... SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU CAN DO! ... TIME IS PASSING BY... I have no time to die.. Because I have a vision, A goal, A dream, that can not be shot down from the sky.
All those mean, Bitter, twisted, Hollow, Shallow people that get in my way, try to make me think I am a loser... The world is full of these angry people & I just do my best to ignore them. The Nay sayers shall not change MY visions... For I have a destiny... Show Biz is in my blood... Film Making is calling me... Creative energies just spill out of me, I just need to learn to FOCUS & re-direct my energies to accomplish all of my goals. ( don't let these people get you down folks... They will always be around every corner... Don't let others stop you from living your dreams).
Why is loneliness so bad? Better to be Misunderstood... Than a fool that follows the pack & regrets it on your death bed!
Heres a brief synopsis of my week in rewind...
Shot some great footage & interviews of Motor-cross X-game jumpers last weekend for a documentary that I am doing. (All very cool. Very down to earth people. Especially for guys that spend half of their day Flying, spinning, & jumping thru the air risking their lives like Evel Kneivel could only dream about).
Worked for the ER doctor again on his Documentary on Disillusioned Doctors. Shot some interview footage with his mom & actually asked some good hard hitting questions. (after shooting, I told the doc some stories of my childhood & he & his producer said THEY should be making a documentary about MY life!)
Saw myself on TV again last week in that whacky movie "Army of Darkness". Sam Raimi's 3rd Installment of the Evil dead series. A Cult classic starring my only true Hollywood friend, Bruce Campbell. This movie was shot many, many years ago & I actually am only on screen a few seconds here & there but I still get a kick out of seeing myself on television as I squander my time out here on the east coast struggling to find my place in life.
Heard thru my Hollywood connections that a big time Porn Director by the name of Jim Powers was on the Howard Stern show the other day & they ended up showing some of MY footage that I shot years ago that shows the crazy world of Adult entertainment.
Gotta work (as a lighting guy) on a Bernie & Phil furniture commercial next week shooting some new spots for them.
Today I am back in the studio shooting girls in the Mud pit. (yes, we actually put girls in a mud pit & they then recite some lines of dramatic dialogue as they Submerse themselves completely under!)
Gotta meet a guy next week to start shooting weddings... (yes Weddings... Arghhhhhh... I am such a whore.)
All next weekend I will be shooting Hockey matches for the league. (Hockey, what a disgusting charade. Its just Violence disguised as a sport.)
And that about wraps up my week... Quite a diverse little character I am huh? My life is so surreal, so demented, so utterly boring & yet, exciting at times, that sometimes I just can't do anything but smile & giggle to myself thinking is this a normal life? Do other people live this way?
As I walk this tight rope that is my life juggling kittens, hand grenades & digital content, I always wonder if I am going to fall... Or have I already fallen & I just can't get up?
My life is a bad B movie... & I have to turn it into a billion dollar franchise blockbuster & win over the masses so that my true talent can shine thru & the money piles up bigger than the gold in fort Knox. I know I have it in me... I just gotta get it OUTTA ME!
My best friend thinks that I am insane & that my Ambitions SUPER-CEDE my ABILITIES....
AM I just a fool? A dreamer? A child lost to the world? You bet I am... But it is all I have... It is all I have ever had... My ability to SEE REALITY for what it truly is & to still not let that throw me... Life is to short kids... Ya gotta have fun... Grab life & kick it in the Ass & giggle at the madness that surrounds us all...
The infinite wisdom of the ages is never lost on one such as I... As I watch this country growing closer & closer to the She-Devil that is known as Hillary Clinton I sometimes wonder am I the only one that can sense the madness? Taste the Fear? Nobodies gonna pull the wool over my eyes... The sheep go Bahhh & the Politicians are stirring up their Wicked Caldron of Befuddling madness to confuse the masses with their Bullshit & lies....
We need a new hero... Am I the one? Can I truly take on & accomplish all that I desire? (To create Cool Entertainment for the Befuddled masses), Or am I just a fool with a handful of mud & left over dreams from a bygone era?
Only time will tell.... For I am.... Craig Amabello Hollywoods Lost Child.
Time to PUT UP... Or shut up.
WIsh you all well in your pursuit of happiness & dreams... I sure could use some Positive thoughts.
From your friend on the edge of Insanity... Craig Amabello, your truly demented reporter & X-Hollywood Misfit.
