Hello Boston.... Hello Beanywood.... This is your good ole X-Hollywood Reject, Craig Amabello reporting in from the bottom of the barrel of life in New England.
After 5 years of laboring in Vain... Sending out OVER 3,000 RESUMES... Approximately 6,000 Emails.... Countless phone calls.... Attempting to get ANY KIND OF LOW BUDGET FILM & VIDEO PRODUCTION WORK out here in New England.... Offering myself to individuals.... Companies.... Groups of people that may need a Professional DIRECTOR... SHOOTER... OR EDITOR with 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE...... I have come to the sad & Frustrating conclusion that......
It is impossible for ME to get ANY CRAPPY LOW PAYING GIGS OUT HERE DOING ANY CRAPPY LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION!!!!!
I GIVE UP ON THE BOSTON FILM MAKING COMMUNITY.... ON NEW ENGLAND DIRECTORS... ARTISTS... BUSINESSMEN & WOMEN.....
ON BOSTON & NEW ENGLAND PEOPLE IN GENERAL!
OR ANYBODY OUT HERE FOR THAT MATTER..... THAT EXPECTS YOU TO WORK LIKE A FRIGGIN "SLAVE" FOR NOTHING BUT THE BETTERMENT OF THEMSELVES & THE PROMISE OF "MAYBE" PAYING GIGS SOMEDAY IN THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!
In 12 years.... On my WORST day's in Los Angeles.... On my Worst Gigs.... Shooting PORN.... For Low Budget.... DERANGED, NAZI, SCUM-BAG, FOREIGNERS... I Made MORE Money & was TREATED BETTER..... THAN ANY GIG I HAVE BEEEN OFFERED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND IN 5 YEARS!!!!!!
Just let that sentence sink in for a minute Folks..... Imagine how BAD my Lowest Paying & Worst Days out in HOLLYWOOD could have been....... & THEY STILL HAVE BEEN BETTER DAYS & PAY..... THAN ANY GIGS EVER OFFERED OUT HERE!!!
That THOUGHT alone..... is so very disturbingly twisted & sad on SO MANY LEVELS.... as to actually BOGGLE THE IMAGINATION.... & MELT the Mind of any Vaguely, Self Respecting human being that would make ANYONE HOLD THEIR HANDS UP & SCREAM........
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THS PICTURE??????".... "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"
I AM OFFERING MYSELF LIKE A CHEAP 10 DOLLAR TAIWANESE LADY BOY AT 3 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN BANGKOK WITH A ROOM FULL OF DRUNKEN, WHITE, AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN...... & I STILL GET NO OFFERS!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........
What Amazes me is even more IS.... HOW THE HELL DO ALL YOU REST OF YOU PEOPLE OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND MAKE A LIVING DOING PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION WORK ????
I don't have a freakin clue anymore than an Opium smokin Chinamen in a French Whorehouse selling vibrators to Lithuanian Lesbian Nuns, While Catholic Priests try to start their own Daycare center for School boys & can't fathom why..... things ain't going right for them!!!!
I am sick of PRETENTIOUS NOBODIES demanding MEETINGS & offering NO PAYING GIGS in Return! The few offers that I have had have been for NO MONEY... Just A Bunch of TALK about BACK END DEALS that MAY make us all lots of money somewhere in the future for some FAR OFF potential Projects.... BUT FIRST.... I NEED YOU TO WORK FOR ME FOR FREE!
That Crap talk is for LOSERS... BY LOSERS... & let me tell you...
ONE PERSON out of 1,000,000 MAY be worth that kind of CONSIDERATION.....
But none of these EGOTISTICAL... LOUDMOUTH.... SELF BLOATED... SELF RIGHTEOUS... IDIOTS that I have talked to out here are even worth doing business with for ANY money at all!!!!
REALITY CHECK:.... In the REAL WORLD.... You don't have your toilet fixed BUT FIRST TELL THE PLUMBER you need to have a meeting with them so that YOU can CHECK THEM OUT & then explain to them that if this job PAYS NO MONEY.... BUT if it goes ok... In the future you might have several more jobs for them that are much BETTER & ACTUALLY PAY REAL MONEY!!!
In what TWILIGHT ZONE DO THESE "ARTY FARTY"... SELF INVOLVED MORONS come from to think that this is not only NORMAL BEHAVIOR & LOGIC.......
BUT...... THAT IT HAS ACTUALLY BECOME "ACCEPTABLE".... & "STANDARD" PRACTICE OF DOING BUSINESS IN THE "MOVIE WORLD" OUT HERE!!!!!
This is all BULLSHIT SOCIO-PATHIC BEHAVIOR!.....
Don't EVER... let ANYBODY Convince YOU otherwise!!!!!!!!!
My last offer for work came from a Boston Business man that is running the "Boston Music Festival" and all he wanted from me was:
Put together 5 video production crews (of at least 3 people each) to shoot at 5 different nightclubs a night at destinations All over Boston for 5 straight days covering over 130 bands, (Also needing me to SHOOT Camera Myself at one of the clubs each night) & then put together an edited show for Broadcast on Cable, then do a DVD for "Best of performances", another edit for Website exposure, & one more video for the individual bands & only wanted to set up several KEY meetings with me & the other BIG Producers, cable company & businessmen while also scouting the locations of half a dozen nightclubs!
& get this............. HE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME A WEBSITE FOR ALL OF THIS WORK!!!!!!
In the REAL WORLD.... NOT THE BOSTON INSANE WORLD....
This was a $10,000 dollar gig just for myself.... And that would be a rock bottom low end price tag!
And this guy actually had the nerve to tell me that my Credentials were IMPRESSIVE & THAT HE HAD SEEN SAMPLES OF MY WORK & WAS SURE THAT I WAS NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HIGHLY SKILLED & THAT I WAS THE MAN FOR THE JOB & THAT HE DESPERATELY NEEDED THE SERVICES OF SOMEONE WITH MY BACKGROUND & KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!
& then he called me & emailed me several times BAFFLED that I wouldn't return his calls & set up Meetings with him & his people!
& then when I Politely & calmly & Professionally explained to this MADMAN That I work for Gringo dollars & actually need to MAKE REAL MONEY to PAY actual bills because My IMAGINARY FRIENDS JUST DON'T LIVE IN MY MIND! He actually got INDIGNANT & MENTIONED THAT HE WAS POTENTIALLY GOING TO THROW A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF BUSINESS MY WAY & I WAS ACTING EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL BY "BLOWING HIM & HIS OFFER OFF!"
Now Kids.... I ain't smokin crack... & I am not Delusional, or IMAGINING THESE THINGS..... But how could any SANE HUMAN BEING SAY THIS CRAP TO SOMEBODY & NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY??????
So I am Utterly Baffled here folks..... I have no clue as to how I'm going to Survive.... Or how I'm going to get through this drought & RUT I'm in...... But I'll tell you this kids... I am no longer going to SUFFER THESE DELUSIONAL, INSANE, EGOMANIACS OUT HERE IN BOSTON ANY LONGER!!!!!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...... I HAVE TO HOLD ON TO MY LAST SHRED OF DIGNITY & SAY "SCREW THIS BULLSHIT!"
It's sad.... But there are so many SMALL minded people.... So many JEALOUS PEOPLE OUT HERE IN BOSTON.... SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE.... "L S" (yes, the one from your very own Beanywood site) that act, think, walk & talk like THEY are "IN THE KNOW, HOLLYWOOD SHOW BIZ PEOPLE"...
But in fact are just very egomaniacal, jaded, close minded, Snobby, Elitist individuals that want to keep others down... refuse to Communicate (because god knows I have tried several times to get in touch with her & have always been extremely polite & Ass kissey... But this has been of no avail to me anyways)....
& I truly Hope you Good people out there understand that this type of behavior is SYMPTOMATIC OF NARCISSISTIC, PRETENTIOUS, BETTER THAN THOU, ARTY FARTY I AM "OH SO MUCH MORE HOLLYWOOD THAN YOU CRAP" That is bringing this city into the GUTTER FASTER THAN THE TWIN TOWERS COULD FALL!
We don't need another Arrogant idiot with power trying to build themselves up by tearing others down & feeling oh so SUPERIOR in the Process!!!
Boston people need to be Rational..... Human.... REAL....
STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD!!!!
HOLLYWOOD IS FULL OF SICK, TWISTED SCUM!
If this town ever has a chance of giving Talented, decent, hardworking, creative people a chance.... It needs to get real & come down of it's High Horse & start making sense in the REAL WORLD!
NOT THE STUPID SCREWED UP FAKE WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD!
1 HOLLYWOOD IS BAD ENOUGH KIDS....... WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER!
So to all the Decent, Talented & hardworking people out here in New England (because I know there MUST be at least a few of you out there)..... I wish YOU luck!
I have HIT A BRICK WALL out here in Boston..... I need to Re-Think.... Re-Plan... Re-build, what I was already trying to rebuild from my Twisted life left over from my Hollywood yesteryears.
But I do know this kids from experience.... Don't TRY to ACT like HOLLYWOOD.... HOLLYWOOD SUCKS!
Just be yourselves... Be real... Be decent to other Human beings.... Hollywood is HOLLOW.... SHALLOW.... HEARTLESS.... UNFORGIVING...... CRUEL... EMPTY.... DEAD.... COLD.
Ask yourself this people... Is this what you want to be when YOU grow up? Is that what you Aspire to? I hope not.
Wish me luck kids.....
Because..... As dear ole Bon Scott from AC/DC always said: it's a "LONG WAY TO THE TOP..... IF YOU WANNA ROCK & ROLL"!
Goodbye for now, from your X-Hollywood Show Biz Rebel......... Craig Amabello
P.S: Always remember to check out my work, Thoughts & Life at http://www.youtube.com/CraigsRealTv
Because Boys & Girls.... I will ALways tell it like it is..... EVEN IF IT HURTS Both..... YOU & ME!
Craig Amabello says: having a good attitude in life is very important.... Especially if you chose show biz for your profession.... When your job as a REAL person... Is to make FAKE reality seem real.... It can all get pretty damn surreal, bizarre and twisted up inside your head... So having a sense of humor about it all is so VERY important!
Unfortunately my attitude confuses people a lot.... I am very sarcastic and dark... But I am also very friendly and helpful and I love to make fun of everything.... And I try my best to laugh and have a good time no matter where I am, what I am doing, or who I am with.
Unfortunately many times, people confuse my easy going attitude with weakness.... and my clowning around makes people think I'm a bloody moron... So it just sucks when people try to take advantage of my good natured & easy going ways.
Which leads me to my Topic of this blog..... ATTITUDES...... Hollywood can be a very closed, tight knit place where it is almost impossible to break into the business because only a handful of people truly do run the entire town. And many people develop serious attitudes in their attempt to mask or cover up their own insecurities & weaknesses so they can act all big & important.... It can be most painful & heartbreaking just trying to make it through another day in Hollywood & if you can't find a way to laugh at all this insanity.... You can go CRAZY!
I left Hollywood after 12 long years of struggling & frustration dealing with so many BAD attitudes and all I was doing was just trying to better my life & get to a higher position & work on bigger & better paying productions.... But for the life of me, I just couldn't find the right door to open, or the right window to climb in to better my position in the hard, cold world of Hollywood.
All my struggles where in vain... I never did better myself.... My attempt to climb that elusive ladder of success, was a complete failure!.... I finally gave in & had to admit.... That I was a loser & that Hollywood had Kicked me like a raw dog & beaten me to the bone & slammed me into the ground like a chewed up rag doll!
But I can still laugh & smile when I look back fondly of my days in LA.
I learned a lot working on many low paying jobs doing camera work and editing. The things I learned could never be taught in a class room, because once you get into the REAL WORLD of Hollywood production... you find that many supposed rules, just fly out the window. The directors drunk & in a bad mood, The actors been doing coke for days & can't remember their lines, the DP was dating the actress & now hates her & wants to make her look horrible, the production manager has only booked talent that he thinks he can have sex with & they have no talent at all, the producer is making last minute changes with actresses because he had sex with a girl the night before & promised her a role in the movie & she can't act at her way out of a paper bag, the owner of the shooting location turns out to be a crystal meth addict & still wants to conduct drug deals while we are trying to work...... & on & on...... but you learn that you still have to get through the day somehow & COMPLETE the project.
Now I know this may all sound far fetched & weird to you people, & probably doesn't occur on a George Lucas picture... But in the Hollywood world that I worked in... "The Low budget world".... this kind of stuff occurred all the time! And believe me, it was fascinating at times to work around all these obstacles & still get the days work done.... but it just put a lot of undue pressure on me to work under these conditions.
That's why I so desperately wanted to find better paying gigs with bigger & more professional production companies, but I just had know idea how to go about meeting the right people. I was making $300 a day as my rate as a cameraman & I worked approx. 3 days a week shooting & I also did editing 2 to 3 days a week on top of that for various different rates.... Many projects I shot, I also ended up editing... And believe me, when the cast & crew are all in a bad mood for the entire shoot & the script goes out the window & the shooting is horrible & I end up having a producer breathing down my neck to complete a project because the release date is 5 days away.... THE PRESSURE JUST BECOMES ENORMOUS!
But I developed a thick skin & learned to laugh at everything & tried not to let it get to me... otherwise you would go insane! I know I have a weird attitude & very sarcastic out look on everything... but no matter who I worked for, or what I was being paid, wether they were big movie stars, (yes, once in awhile I actually did work with big movie stars), or just brand new unknown actors, I prided myself on my ability to be helpful, happy, and professional in the sense that I always tried to do the best that I could under whatever circumstances we were shooting under.
I found that it was very important to have a sense of humor when you find yourself working 12 to 14 hour days... day in & day out under such pressure to complete projects on time & on budget. But many of the people that I worked with, were just miserable. They would start the day at 7 am complaining and bitching about how they hated everything and it never made sense to me why these people where even in show biz in the first place if they hated it so much. So I always chose to be the nice guy... The helpful guy... If a light needed to be placed I would place it, if a chair needed to be moved I'd move it... If the talent needed water, I would go & get it for them... There was nothing I wouldn't do to try & make the day just a little bit nicer, a little bit happier, so that we could all accomplish the job at hand.... Which was getting the movie shot!
Now I have only worked on a handful of productions out here on the east coast since I have been back from LA & the one thing that I have found is that all anyone seems to do out here is TALK ABOUT HOLLYWOOD.... Everyone seems so HELL BENT on BEING like Hollywood.... Acting like they think Hollywood is.... Using fancy terms.... Big titles.... almost putting more importance on talking about a shot with the proper vernacular & Buzz words that would make them seem like Hollywood big shots, than to actually just do the shot without all the damn Jingo & jargon that would befit a Hollywood production!
On one shoot I worked on as a grip making $4.16 cents an hour (yes, I actually figured out how much I was being paid by the hour) I was actually fired after the DP asked me several times to get him some C-64's... This was in front of 6 or 8 crew members (I never could figure out why the hell there was so many crew on this shoot, we were shooting in a small cramped basement room... & none of them seemed to be doing anything.... That's another pet peeve of mine, directors having huge crews just to satisfy & stroke their damn ego's).... Anyways, I scratched my head & felt like a fool in front of all these people looking at me, but I had no idea what the hell a C-64 was..... Finally after almost 2 minutes, the DP looked at me & said, "The Clothes Pin, I need a couple clothes pins!"
Now why couldn't he have just said that in the first place once he realized that I didn't know what a C-64 was.... BUT NO..... This guy just wanted it all to sink in & deliberately wanted to belittle me in front of a room full of useless people..... He actually enjoyed waiting for me to ask him, "I don't know what you want?"... Should I have known a clothes pin is called a C-64?... Sure I should have, but jesus, couldn't he have cut me some slack?
Previous to this, he had spent the whole day barley even acknowledging me as I spent the day bending over backwards, keeping my mouth shut, running extension cords all over the place, getting lights, stands, gels & scrims & doing the best I could to help the production along. It wasn't as if I was drunk, screwing around, talking, being disruptive & just hanging out all day doing nothing... I actually worked hard lugging some heavy equipment around & being right by his side to get him whatever he needed & he never once even said hello to me, or even thanked me when I ran around getting stuff like a good little gofer grip.
I mean, this guy came in with an attitude that was high & mighty right from the start of the day because he was the Director of Photography & I could sense that I was just a lowly grip (not to mention that I was probably twice his age, which made me feel like even more of a loser than I already felt)... & I just went about the day doing what I was told to do with no complaints whatsoever..... And then at the end of the day when he fired me, he seemed to really enjoy it!
On another shoot I worked on as a cameraman, this young kid, an Emerson graduate, was all talk about Hollywood this & Hollywood that... He talked loud & made damn sure that the 8 people waiting around could hear him and understood that HE was the Director of Photography.... This guy just reeked of ATTITUDE... & It just seemed crazy to me to be so hung up on titles & to cop an attitude in front of all these people..... It was just embarrassing.... But I shut my mouth because I had worked with the director before & I liked him & didn't want to cause problems on the shoot.
So like an idiot, the director & I did all of the lugging of equipment up 3 flights of stairs, while this DP & his assistant went & got pizza! I bent over backwards to be friendly & polite & asked him what I could do to help & he just treated me like I was some homeless bum off the street looking for a bottle of booze.
The final straw was when he asked me to go downstairs to grab another sandbag & when I did, he couldn't believe I just dropped it on the floor 5 feet away from him... he actually expected me to bring it right to him & put it exactly where he was going to tell me to! I fumed, but kept my composure for the good of the shoot & just quietly walked way & waited for him to be ready.
After this DP spent over 3 hours setting up 2 lights & a jib, keeping 8 people waiting... he turned to the assembled cast & said, "Welcome to Hollywood!"
The point of all this is: That I came back east because I was fed up with the Hollywood attitudes & now all I seem to be surrounded by is people with A HOLLYWOOD ATTITUDE..... And we aint even in Hollywood!
Its nice to know the right terminology & the proper things you need to do to complete a production.... But so far, out here..... I just seem to run into people were its ALL ABOUT the Show biz Jargon... The Hollywood Glitz.... It's more important to look & sound & act the Hollywood part.... Than it is to just COMPLETE THE PRODUCTION!
So the lesson to be learned out here kids is this: ...... What's more important to you? To do a good job, be creative, make some money & be proud of your work......
Or to look & act COOL like you think HOLLYWOOD big wigs would & to slow down the shoot with a bunch of garbage talk, debate, useless fancy terms, Titles, big Ego's & ATTITUDES?????......
I know there are some really cool & talented people out here just waiting to shine..... And I hope that these people that I have been dealing with are NOT THE NORM..... That they are FREAKS..... & do not represent the basic attitude of most film makers out here on the east coast.
Good luck people in your search for your dreams..... I hope you do well.... treat people with respect & decency.... & create the ART that YOU want to make!
I would love it if you PEOPLE would make some comments on what I have written..... Tell me I'm wrong.... Give me your opinion..... Let people know about YOUR experiences in film making out here on the east coast..... We all need to share each others experiences.... good and bad.... Maybe that way, it can help us all learn to make a better film community out here on the east coast that may someday rival Hollywood!
For I am: Craig Amabello, an X-Hollywood Reject!
PLEASE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY ROCK VIDEOS THAT I DIRECTED, SHOT AND EDITED OUT IN HOLLYWOOD AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.... I would love to hear what people think of my work... I need feed back to know if my work is any good or not:
just go to: http://www.hollywoodeasttv.com/profile/craigamabello
ALSO CHECK OUT MY WHACKY VLOGS ON YOUTUBE.... THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT... BUT MIGHT JUST MAKE "YOU" FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE!
http://www.youtube.com/craigsrealtv
Please Comment.... Rate.... and subscribe to my channel..... I always love to hear peoples opinions... even if its negative... As long as its real... & sincerely meant..... I don't care what you say about me..... BUT JUST SAY SOMETHING!
Hello Beanywood..... Hello New England film makers...
Craig Amabello here, checkinin from the twilight zone where I have been floating aimlessly after welding Jet propulsion packs to kittens and launching them into outer space just so I could get a better view of planet earth!
I have a very serious question to ask... Have I personally done something wrong to the people here at Beanywood? Have I kicked their precious little doggy? Have I squashed their darling lil Kitty?
I ask this, because after 1 year and 27 blogs that I have written on this site and over 21,000 views.... I HAVE NEVER ONCE BEEN PLACED AS A "SELECTED BLOGGER"!
WHY??????....... DID I SAY SOMETHING TO OFFEND SOMEBODY?...... ARE MY BLOGS THAT CRAPPY?
I am sure many more people would stumble on my blogs, but how can they ever find them? I truly wish I knew what to do to get my blogs placed on the front page under the selected blogger section. I constantly see the same 1 or 2 people with 3 & sometimes 4 blogs in a row placed under the Selected blogger section. It makes it look like those few people are the ONLY ones writing Blogs here on Beanywood.
As childish & stupid as this sounds.... MY FEELINGS ARE HURT!.... I have even emailed the people that run this site & never heard back from them about this question. I do the best I can to make my writing INFORMATIVE..... TOPICAL.... HUMOROUS.... and POSITIVE about movie making here in New England.
Now I know that my blogs tend to get very cynical & negative at times, but I always try to have something POSITIVE to say at least once in each blog. But if my blogs are cynical, its just because I am commenting on what is happening to ME out here in New England trying DESPERATELY to get production work here on the east coast.
So if any of you people out there like reading my weird & hopefully humorous & informative blogs.... I would love it if you could let the owners of this site know that! ...... Or even leave some comments so that I would know if any of you out their like my Blogging style. Sometimes I feel so alone out here in outer space.... like nobody even gets my blogs... Or has any of their own stories to tell about production work out here in New England.
I am here to entertain & to inform..... & I hope I have done a little bit of both for you people who want to know more about film making out here in New England and film making in Hollywood.
Because I do know a little bit about both, because I am: Craig Amabello an X-Hollywood Reject.
PLEASE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY ROCK VIDEOS THAT I DIRECTED, SHOT AND EDITED OUT IN HOLLYWOOD AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.... I would love to hear what people think of my work... I need feed back to know if my work is any good or not:
just go to: http://www.hollywoodeasttv.com/profile/craigamabello
ALSO CHECK OUT MY WHACKY VLOGS ON YOUTUBE.... THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT... BUT MIGHT JUST MAKE "YOU" FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE!
http://www.youtube.com/craigsrealtv
Please Comment.... Rate.... and subscribe to my channel..... I always love to hear peoples opinions... even if its negative... As long as its real... & sincerely meant..... I don't care what you say about me..... BUT JUST SAY SOMETHING!
