Hello Beanywood.... Hello New England Film Makers..... How are your lives going?????

Mine is in the gutter..... This site doesn't even acknowledge my existence after 25 posts & over 14 thousand views....... But hell.... I'm just a nobody BUM that spent 12 year working & living & paying my BILLS in HOLLYWOOD... Ya know... The "REAL DEAL".... A guy that knows SOMETHING about Hollywood... But I'm just POND SCUM compared to the REAL players out here in NEW ENGLAND!

So here's what I've been up to..... I got my first gig EVER out here in New England after almost 4 YEARS OF BEGGING PEOPLE FOR ANY CRAPPY PRODUCTION JOB..... It was as an editor for an online gambling website located in Beverly Mass... The pay was $17.25 an hour.... Just enough for me to buy crack.... (NO Hookers), Just lousy Crack... Anyways I took the job.. Smiled... worked hard... kept my mouth Shut & listened to MORONS Bossing me around.... I did what I was told... & after less then 2 months.... After going through 2 BOSSES... (the first being a nazi, Gestapo Rude Arrogant Loser... Who called himself a DIRECTOR... & spent all day trying to figure out ways to boss me around & I took his CRAP Daily.... HE was finally FIRED..... & then my NEXT boss... ended up being the SON of the owner... A completely UNHINGED, DERANGED, DANGEROUS, PSYCHOPATH of a LOSER who's LIFE'S AMBITION was to be a COP!!!!!!..... Long story short.... This pathetic loser... Who for some screwed up reason had the audacity to claim to be MY boss... ended up CHASING me OFF the JOB by threats of TAZERING ME.... Assaulting ME... BEATING ME up... (Because I refused to TEACH HIM Final Cut Pro) & HE was going to HUNT ME DOWN & GET ME.... All because I refused to take HIS CRAP anymore...... I never got payed my last weeks pay.... (I have since gone to the Mass Attorneys General's Office & complained about my pay & how I was THREATENED & CHASED OFF THE JOB.... & have not been PAYED as of YET.... BU T THEY are still looking into it!!!!!)..... And FOLKS...... That was just my FIRST & ONLY JOB offer that I finally got out here in NEW ENGLAND!...... So ya gotta wonder Folks..... Who the hell else is working out here for MONEY????..... Anyways..... Lets fast forward to just the other day...... After sending out over 2,000... Yes Kids, that's right..... OVER TWO THOUSAND Emails to EVERYBODY.... Looking for ANY kind of WORK..... I RECEIVED a COUPLE RESPONSES!!!!!!!!..... Whoopee!!!!!!!.... YAhhhhhhhhh.....

Here's response ONE: It was for an ad making $50 dollars a day as a BOOM Operator.... Yes sir, FIFTY big ones a DAY!.... I Gladly responded not once.... but TWICE with my PHONE NUMBER & QUALIFICATIONS & RESUME WITH LINKS TO MY WORK...... For $50 Freakin Bucks a DAY!..... I received a email back with NO NAME.... NO NUMBER...... NO INFORMATION WHATS SO EVER......... Just the CRYPTIC Words...... WE might be all set for this Boom gig... BUT HANG TIGHT..... WE MIGHT BE CALLING YOU!.... Zooweee..... Wowee....... THEY "MIGHT" be callin ME???????...... I eventually received a CALL at 7:00 AM On a Sunday Morning &, believe it or not... I MISSED THE CALL!!!!!!...... When I called the number back... (there was no Message.... NO Name... NO NUMBER.... & NO reference whatsoever as to what the call was about) I reached a Women who stated that HER Brother was making a MOVIE & MAYBE he HAD called ME?????..... Believe it or not... I still left MY NAME & NUMBER & REASON for calling & have YET RECEIVED a CALL BACK!!!!!!

Here's an example of another Response from another GREAT NEW England Film Maker........

RESPONSE NUMBER 2: This guy had an AD Looking for a camera man to shoot in DOWNTOWN Boston Mass for 3 HOURS with a PROFESSIONAL CAMERA..... I SENT him all MY info & patiently waited for a reply.... After several hours & hear back from him & the gig paid $60. Dollars...... Thats Right FOLKS..... SIXTY DOLLARS!!!!!!

Whopppeeeeee..... Zoweeeeee......... I can't believe MY good Fortune!.... I quickly & Politely EMAILED HIM right back & stated: Make it, $100 dollars.... & you have a deal!....... NEEDLESS TO SAY....... I NEVER HEARD BACK FROM THIS BIG TIME, NEW ENGLAND ENTREPRENEUR.........

& the FINAL KICKER OF THE DAY....... (This all occurred Yesterday folks, On Sunday May 11, 2008)... I emailed an AD FOR A BIG NEW ENGLAND CASTING COMPANY Looking for a CASTING DIRECTOR.... I told them, my background was primarily in Video Production, But that I was looking to EXPAND my horizons & felt that I could be quite good at working for a New England Casting Agency considering that I spent 12 years Working & Living in Hollywood California & that I have over 30 years in the Entertainment Business.......

I will now give you an EXAMPLE OF OUR EMAILS:


MY FIRST EMAIL RESPONSE TO THIS AD FOR WORK AT A NEW ENGLAND CASTING AGENCY:

On Sun, May 11, 2008 at 12:29 AM, Craig Amabello wrote:
Hi,
I noticed your post... I am qualified in video production & have over 30 years experience in Show business... I would like to speak with you about this position... Maybe I could be the right candidate for the job... I am looking to expand my horizons & would feel right at home dealing with many sorts of talented actors, etc.

I have enclosed my resume for you to look at.
Thanx's
Craig Amabello
Located in: Southern New Hampshire.
Contact me @: Laconnection101@aol.com

And of course my resume shows my MANY YEARS EXPERIENCE IN VIDEO PRODUCTION....

I then receive THIS BACK AS A REPLY FROM THIS BUSINESS PERSON...

On May 11, 2008, at 1:58 PM, XXXXXXX wrote:

Hi,

What can you offer Our Casting Company?


SO I THEN.... CALMLY... PROFESSIONALLY..... ANSWER HIM BACK WITH THIS, SINCERE RESPONSE!


On Sun, May 11, 2008 at 2:23 PM, Craig Amabello wrote:

A) I'M HONEST......
B) I'M HARD WORKING......
C) I'M INTELLIGENT.......
D) I AM GOOD WITH PEOPLE......
E) I'M CREATIVE...... I write, make music, do photography & do Video....
F) I CAN SHOOT VIDEOS OF YOUR TALENT FOR AUDITIONS
G) I CAN SHOOT STILLS OF ALL YOUR TALENT FOR HEAD-SHOTS, ETC.
H) I CAN GIVE DIRECTION.... OR I CAN TAKE DIRECTION... I'm a team player.

And I have a good, basic, common sense about ALL the basics of Show business.... With over 35 years involvement.

Do you have any other questions that I could answer for you?
Please feel free to ask me anything.
Thanx's
Craig Amabello



and this piece of crap MORON scum-bag HAS THE AUDACITY TO EMAIL ME BACK & SAY!


On May 11, 2008, at 2:26 PM, XXXXXXX wrote:

Thats wonderful Craig...but really didn't answer my question. WHAT CAN YOU OFFER MY COMPANY?



So I email this absolutely, Arrogant, Delusional, Hollywood WANNABE .... THIS RESPONSE:


May 11, 2008 5:31:33 PM EDT
To: XXXXXXXX

From Craig Amabello:


MONEY?... BAGS OF GOLD?.... The best WHORES IN THE LAND?... DRUGS?????...... An Invitation to the White House????

DUDE.... I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN BY THAT QUESTION???

IT'S A VERY NEBULOUS QUESTION.... VERY VAGUE..... VERY ESOTERICAL????

PLEASE.... I'M JUST A DUMB COUNTRY BOY WITH NO COLLEGE EDUCATION....

I LIKE THINGS SIMPLE & SWEET & SPELLED OUT FOR ME!!!!!!


I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT ME TO SAY??????

I AM NOT GOOD AT PLAYING GAMES....... I'M A SIMPLE GUY......

REALLY DUDE..... DON'T YOU THINK YOUR GETTING A LITTLE STRANGE WHEN I DO THE BEST I CAN TO ANSWER SUCH AN OPEN ENDED QUESTION SUCH AS YOU GAVE ME & THEN YOU EMAIL BACK & SAY I DIDN'T ANSWER YOUR QUESTION????

CHRIST........ TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT??????????


This ALL pretty much explains MY HATRED TO THE NEW ENGLAND FILM COMMUNITY...... ALL THE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH OVER THE PAST 4 YEARS ALL ARE SO DESPERATELY ATTEMPTING TO " MIMIC" WHAT THEY THINK HOLLYWOOD TYPE PEOPLE WOULD ACT LIKE...........


PEOPLE.... THIS IS SO EVER WRONG!!!!.... Will will you people ever learn??????

Hollywood is made up of MOSTLY money GRUBBING sharks that would RAPE your lil sister or your mother for the next BIG DEAL!!!!

So many of YOU "NEW ENGLAND" FILM PEOPLE are so DESPERATELY TRYING TO MIMIC & FOLLOW THIS TYPE OF ATTITUDE & BEHAVIOR that it is DESPICABLE!.... DISGUSTING!!!!!!..... DEPLORABLE!!!!!...


PLEASE PEOPLE....... PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO MIMIC!!!!!!!

TO BE JUST ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD SCUM-BAG DOES NOT MAKE YOU CLEVER..... BETTER.... NOR, PROFESSIONAL.....

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS HERE FOLKS..... WHY CAN'T WE HAVE THE SIMPLE COMMON COURTESY TO TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT??????


TRUST ME PEOPLE.... I AM ONE OF THE "ONLY PEOPLE" ON THIS DAMN SITE THAT HAS SPENT 12 LONG YEARS WORKING & LIVING IN HOLLYWOOD....... I HAVE SOME KNOWLEDGE OF THE PLACE.... I HAVE SOMETHING VALID TO SAY!!!!......

PLEASE PEOPLE.... I BEG OF YOU.... STOP TRYING TO MIMIC THE "WORST OF HOLLYWOOD!".....


Try to act like decent, civil, human beings with a little respect for other humans........ Life can still be good this way...... PLEASE PEOPLE...... UNTIL YOU HAVE SPENT THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT I HAVE SPENT DEALING WITH HOLLYWOOD ASSHOLES........ YOU WILL SOON REALIZE WHAT A SIN IT IS.... FOR "ALL OF US" TRYING TO DEAL WITH "PRETEND" WANNA-BE HOLLYWOOD ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!

DOES ANYBODY OUT THERE HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING??????

DOES ANYTHING I SAY MAKE SENSE TO ANYBODY OUT THERE??????

I AM SO LOST & FRUSTRATED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND..... KNOWING THAT ALL I DEAL WITH OUT HERE ARE LOUD MOUTH WANNA-BE HOLLYWOOD SCUM........

IT HURTS US ALL..... NOT JUST AS A BUSINESS.... BUT AS A PEOPLE AS A WHOLE!

PLEASE..... I BEG ALL OF YOU TO HEED MY WORDS.... THIS IS WHY AFTER 12 YEARS OF LIVING & WORKING IN HOLLYWOOD THAT I LEFT!

I COULDN'T STAND THE FAKE... PHONEY.... BULLSHIT... RUDE... ARROGANT BASTARDS ANYMORE!!......

& NOW I COME BACK HOME TO NEW ENGLAND & FIND EVERYBODY & THEIR BROTHER TRYING TO MIMIC THIS VERY SAME BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE PEOPLE....... WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE!.... I CAN NOT BE THE ONLY ONE EXPERIENCING THIS BEHAVIOR OUT HERE!!!!!

GROW UP....... BE HUMAN.... STOP BEING RUDE, DELUSIONAL ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!

From your very SAD, DEPRESSED X- HOLLYWOOD REJECT...... Craig Amabello.....

I will always tell it like it is...... Please people.... HEED MY WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!

[READ MORE]

It has been gnawing at me all night, since 3 pm yesterday afternoon when I read the headlines from Yahoo: Heath Ledger dead at 28.

I don't exactly know why it bothers me that Heath Ledger is dead. But when I saw the headline earlier today at work, some weird kinda chill ran down my spine... Some, slow shock seemed to set up inside me & gestate. Til it got me out of bed at 4 am to write this down.

I certainly didn't know Heath ledger. I am not even really a fan of his. I am only peripherally aquanted with some of his work, his best film, "in my opinion" being the 1999 hit movie "Ten things I hate about you".

What seems to baffle me all the more with this strange fascination of mine that Heath Ledger is dead was that I didn't particularly like... Nor did I dislike his film roles & talent. He just seemed to be a good looking, talented, easy going, likable, young person that has been working in the Hollywood shuffle for many years. A solid worker, a continuous worker... making movies, plying his trade... working his craft.... some movies were cooler than others, some were bigger... but never seemingly breaking through enough. (Ya I know Broke back mountain earned him an Oscar nomination & was thought of as HIS big break through flick... But I think mostly because of Freakdom reasons.. Not actual, great moviemaking. But hell, I never saw the movie so I can't truly say). He seemed to have left behind quite a body of work... Nothing embarrassing or to be ashamed of... and nothing earth shattering either... Just a solid stream of work for over a decade.

So why does Heath Ledgers death seem to bother me so, when I knew so little of him & his work? Because maybe I am starting to wonder if my very innocuous thoughts of Heath Ledger as an actor, as a person, as a show biz personality, as just a human being in general.... these very basic, plain, yet, positive thoughts of Heath Ledger..... MIGHT have been the very reason he died. Maybe, I wonder, did Heath Ledger feel this same way about himself? Was he so Dissatisfied with his career?... His life so far?... Was he so sad & lonely that at such a young, hopeful age, with the world seemingly at his feet, he would just fucking up & OD on drugs? Or am I reading to damn much into all of this & it was just a stupid miscalculation on his part. Bad luck. Bad timing. Bad drugs?

Maybe Hollywood truly is full of nothing but Blood Sucking, Soul Stealing Vampires & Leeches that suck the very Marrow from the bones of the young & the Beautiful & then leave them to die once there is nothing left to milk from the still living host. To discard people... To use people... To Confuse people. Is this truly the Hollywood way? Or is this simply... Life's way?

Why would someone, who appeared to have his head screwed on straight, who had what appeared to be a very decent & long career in show biz waiting in the future for him... How would someone like this.... end up, ALONE & OD'ing on drugs? Why? How does shit like this happen? That's what keeps Echoing in my brain.

Is it all just an Illusion? Is anyone ever really happy? Or do we all just paint on these faces & go about our days... days filled with Quiet desperation, Solitude, Tragic loneliness & confusion... Days, weeks, years spent silently screaming from within to get me out of here... For someone to tell us that it is all going to be alright... for someone to understand us.. that it all becomes to much to bear... the heartache... the thoughts of being a failure... That why would I think that life should be any different for a Hollywood actor? Even for the still young & gifted, like Heath Ledger was. Did he die of quite desperation? The drugs being of course just a symptom... NOT the Ailment... But never the less, the symptom that KILLED him.

So bloody fucking tragic. I guess what disturbs me the most is that maybe I keep thinking.... If a guy like him couldn't find peace & happiness at his level of accomplishment in life at his age... Then how the fuck can a smuck like me, or anyone of us regular people ever expect to find happiness?

I guess what it all ever boils down to, what truly matters, IS .... OURSELVES.... How things effect US.... & then, how we deal with these things that effect us. And for some sad, strange reason, Heath Ledgers Death truly seems to sadden me... To bother me... To scare me... To make me want to just shake my head & cry & wonder.... What the fuck is going on around here? Is anybody ever, truly happy? Am I so nieve to be still clinging on to false childhood hopes of My dreams coming true & finding happiness for the rest of my life? I'd like to think not..... I still believe that I can make MY dreams still come true!

But I am greatly saddened by Heath Ledgers death, because it seems like such a WASTE! So much more life was left in him, so much more to do... Or am I wrong? Obviously I am. That was his life. It ended yesterday... All alone in a room in New York... With a damn fuckin drug overdose! So very stupid... So very sad.

I guess what freaks me out a little as I have been feeling so very disconnected lately with life.... with humans... with myself.... that twice in the last 2 weeks I seemed to have been drawn to this Heath Ledger movie from 2006 called "Candy" that was playing on cable. It was a love story about 2 young junkies where of course everything goes wrong & our hero ends up all alone in the end. I thought it was a good role... A decent movie.... a quirky lil independent film.... a sad story... I thought it was dark & edgy & kinda dangerous for a nice, clean cut actor like Heath Ledger to take on the role of a junky loser.... Maybe, just maybe... The poor fucker wasn't really acting as much as I thought?

Remember people... Life is short.... Its up to YOU.... to live your dreams... NO ONE else can do it for you. Just make sure you think real long & hard as to what YOUR dreams truly are?

Rest in Peace Heath Ledger,
Keep on living all you good people out there.
Craig Amabello

[READ MORE]

  These days, porn is on everyones mind it seems. From wholesome young kids in school, middle aged working women joking at the office, to creepy old perverted men working lonely 3rd shift security jobs. So why should Kevin Smith be any different?

  Kevin Smith is the writer/director of Clerks I & II and many other funny, successful flicks. He tells the average males down & out loser stories better than most, and has an empathy for that kind of character.

  So it is of no surprise that his latest flick, "Zak and Miri make a porno", a 25 million dollar budgeted feature from the Weinstein Co. is going into production January 2008 in Pittsburgh Penn.

  kevin calls it "a love story. Zak and Miri just want to make a good old-fashioned dirty movie because they are in deep financial trouble and need to raise money fast.”

  The film will star Seth Rogen (knocked up) and Elizabeth Banks (The 40 year old virgin) along with Jason Mewes (kevin's long time side kick "Jay" from Clerks I and II and Jay and Silent Bob go to hollywood fame). There are several other key pieces of casting not yet revealed. Kevin Smith stated: “I can’t wait to reveal the rest of the cast. A key piece of the puzzle just fell into place yesterday, and it’s a genius bit of casting. This is gonna be fun”.

  Is this movie a gamble? I think not. Porn is everywhere. Porn is legitimate. It's not something dirty, hidden under your uncles bed anymore. Porn has become so acceptable to the masses that the average person can talk openly about it at the office, or see references to it on network television on a daily basis. This is all thanks to the Internet, which from day one, has fed the porn hungry masses and has brought hardcore pornography into practically everybody's homes.

  kevin never hid his love of porn. Starting from Clerks I, with the video clerk ordering despicable porn titles such as anal rump rangers in front of a horrified women patron, to Clerks II where they put on a full blown donkey porn show. Porn references were always littered through out his scripts. Anyone that was paying attention could see where he was heading with all of this.

  If anyone can pull this off, a main stream, big budget flick about porn, Kevin Smith just might be the man to do it. He has the average mans sensibilities. He knows how to speak to, and reach his audience. With this movie, Kevin has just decided to take his love of porn and the average persons love of porn, to the next logical step.

  Is this the first big budget mainstream porn movie to reach the masses? No... It has been done before: National Lampoon's "Barely Legal" released in 2005 was about 3 high schoolers that made their own porn and it did alright business, but it wasn't a huge success.

 The Weinstein brothers are no dummy's. They know the time is right to make a blockbuster out of a main stream movie about porn, and Kevin Smith is the perfect director to help bring it all together.

   This does bum me out a little, because I have been threatening to make a mainstream  comedy about the porn world for years. Leave it to Kevin Smith to beat Craig Amabello to the punch.... But he has far more experience and skill at these things than I do. This is what I get for sitting on my ass and not actually getting to work on MY script and start shooting MY own movie about the porn world..... A world in which I am most intimately acquainted.... But I'm sure there's room for several blockbuster movies about porn and I am hoping that mine will be one of them!

By:
Craig Amabello
X-Hollywood Reject

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Yes folks, you heard it hear first... Craig Amabello found a job as an editor at a Boston productionfacility!

  Do you know what this means?

  I can finally stop beating up & robbing helpless old ladies as they leave Wal-mart with their prescriptions... I mean money.

  I no longer have to sell crack to school children... (kids these days aren't really into crack that much because they are all high on mommies prescriptions from Wal-mart)... Remember, Wal-marts the kinder, gentler people store... They won't allow dirty words, or nudity that would pervert fragile little minds... But they have no problem selling GUNS & DRUGS to the Filthy masses to blow holes in both your MIND & BODY!

  America... What a concept..... Ya just gotta love the Lunacy of it...

  As I now have a full time job editing Commercials for the web I can finally start paying for my real Addiction...... craigstv. I have been attempting to get my web channel off the ground for many years now & it looks like I'm about to start reaching phase one of a multiphase project!

  With the pennies I will be earning from my editing gig, I can afford studio time, tape stock, wardrobe & props to kick off my deranged & whacky web shows. It will be quite raw, wild, raunchy, disturbing & yet, artful, delicate, educational, informative & Delicious....

  My shows will have lots of Web Cuties.... Hunky men... Serious Humor & wonderful Rock & Roll for the Masses to laugh... Scream... Boo & Hiss at.

  I promise there will be something disturbing for everyone. The most discriminating of tastes should be shocked, mortified, horrified & slack jawed once I am through with my over the top Dark, twisted brand of Sickness & humor.

  Remember kids... It only took me 3 damn years to find a real job in film & video production on the internet.... I hope YOU people have much better luck than I.

  In the mean time if you want to check out a little of what I am all about...

GO TO: http://www.youtube.com     AND SEARCH FOR: CRAIG AMABELLO

  I have lots of my old stuff up there.... My very first Original "Reality TV Show... (long before such an animal actually existed) & old rock & roll from my old band. I also have several new Vlogs talking about my fall from grace in life & Hollywood & just general garbage that might make you laugh... Smile... Giggle... Or maybe just PUKE!

  Who knows... maybe you fine folks of Boston might find it interesting to see what crap pours forth from a demented X-Hollywood Outcast such as myself.

  Please check it out & post your comments... I would truly love to know what people really think!

  Don't be shy.... Tell it like it is.... Should Craig Amabello be put into a mental Institution? Locked up in prison & throw away the key? Or should I be put on stage as the opening act for Hillary Clinton's Campaign for the presidency of the Untied States of America?

  You tell me....... I really, really wanna know what people honestly think.

  Am I a misunderstood Genius?... Or just a Moron?

  Only you folks can tell me that... & I beg of you to watch my stuff on youtube & post your TRUE feelings.

  Well, gotta go... I'm trying to get a hold of Kevin Smith so I can work on his new movie " Zak & Mira make a Porno"..... (Because I do know a thing or 2 about Porn).. Wish me luck & don't give up the good fight.

  REMEMBER: We are surrounded by Mental Midgets that think they are giants.... But ignore these cretins... For eventually they will fall down & not be able to get back up.

  For I am Craig Amabello.... A Weeble.... Because... Weebles Wobble.... But they Don't Fall down!

Rock On.

Your truly Demented Reporter & X-Hollywood Reject,
Craig Amabello

[READ MORE]

My very first SARCASTIC Blog posted here on Beanywood about... I wanna go back to Hollywood where people truly do care for one another..... Has been lost in Translation!

  The whole basis of that particular blog was based on the fact that "I" (being one of the very few people here on Beanywood), to have actually Lived, worked, suffered & survived in Hollywood California for 12 years in the movie business could not even BEG, BORROW OR STEAL A CRAPPY FILM GIG OUT HERE IN BOSTON!

  That for several years now I have done everything imaginable to attempt to hitch up with New England Professional film makers & I couldn't get anyone to even SPIT ON ME!

  This Phenomenon has utterly BAFFLED me.... CONFUSED me.... HURT & SHATTERED (most of what was left of my confidence) & has thoroughly made me so distraught wondering: If a seasoned PRO from Hollywood couldn't wrangle up a 10 cent film job here in Boston.... THEN WHO THE HELL COULD????

  All this failure in Hollywood (not knowing how to advance the ladder of success after 12 long, heart breaking years) to then coming back, to my home town turf & not being able to even get a friggin PA job WORKING FOR FREE!....

  Can you imagine what that feels like? What it does to ones Soul? To the shattered remnants of ones dreams?

ITS MIND NUMBING!... HEARTBREAKING..... IT'S CATASTROPHIC TO EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING!

This has put me in a horrible tailspin in a deep black hole of depression, despair & utter shock.

  Do you folks wanna know what its like to feel like a complete failure? An absolute Loser? A shell shocked Hollywood causality?

  Do you know how it feels Living in a complete vacuum of confusion.... knowing that you have failed in Hollywood & then..... Come home... beaten... tail between your legs... kicked in the face & then spend years attempting to find ANY KIND OF LOW END FILM GIG OUT IN BOSTON..... & COMPLETELY BOMB?

  It is times such as these that the truly inspired, the true masters of their own destiny.... come into their own.... Positive Creativity can be born from such negative circumstances. I shall make my mark on this world yet... I am not beaten.... I am just down for the count in a temporary set-back!

  It has been brought to my attention that I come across as ARROGANT.... SELF ENTITLED... EXCLUSIONARY... RUDE...

  I have been ACCUSED of bringing MY HOLLYWOOD ATTITUDE back with me to this fine town of Boston........ But I say: THIS IS ALL COMPLETELY BACKWARDS!

  What has disillusioned me to the Boston film community is the poor attitudes of so many people (both young & old) attempting to MIMIC some false, misguided idea of 'WHAT THEY THINK" Hollywood is. Big words... Big tales... all attitude... A fast track to fame & fortune on hollow wings of gold... Rising to the pinnacle of Hollywood moviedom off the broken backs of Peons that go unnoticed & un appreciated & do ALL of the work.

  THIS IS BAD THINKING.... THIS IS BACKWARDS... THIS IS WRONG... THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED... THIS ACTUALLY GOES ON EVERYWHERE IN LIFE..... BUT JESUS PEOPLE....... ARE WE EVER GOING TO LEARN?  CAN WE NOT LEARN TO BE DECENT & HUMANE TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE ARTS?

  I say light & silly things (to hide my depth)... I attempt to be witty, funny & informative (and many times fall flat on my face)... But I have noticed that this town, born of PURITAN BELIEFS.... Still wreaks of small minded, BIG TALKING FOOLS.

  I do not say this out of hatred & anger... But out of deep sadness & despair... As humans, we need to rise above the human condition & grow..... But we can never grow..... if people still have the same damn closed minded attitudes of the 16th century.

  Elitism does not rule... At least, IT SHOULD NOT RULE....

  Good, creative, film making people of Boston, show those simpleton fools that want to bully people, that will not be tolerated here. There still is a chance for there to be a fine film community here in Boston. But first, the good people... the kind people... the truly creative people, need to let it be known that PETTY, BULLSHIT, ARROGANT, USER FOOLS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED HERE!

  That I have gone through all of this horrible behavior BEFORE.... IN HOLLYWOOD.... for so many years... only to turn around NOW... & find it here in Boston..... IS INTOLERABLE.

Let's work together & Create some Cool Stuff people...... Who's with me?

Just another note from the edge, from your twisted friend, & truly Demented Reporter of life,
Craig Amabello
The X-Hollywood Reject

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It has been brought to my attention that I appear to be committing Creative & Professional suicide with my very Delicate & Fragile & never even having quite gotten off the ground Film Career.

Even though Death seems to have been hanging around me these last couple of years & people around me have been dropping faster than Elvis & James Dean on a Joy ride with John kennedy in Dallas.... I most certainly have no Intention of Committing Suicide of ANY KIND!....

SO for any of you Ghouls & Thrill seekers that think they smell death & the Putrid, Rotting Decay of a Mal Nourished & twisted mind on display for all to see.... You have most certainly, have come to the Wrong place!

For I am only affecting FREE SPEECH..... ARTISTIC CREATIVITY.... CALLING IT, THE WAY I SEE IT....

FOR I DO NOT CREATE THE WORLDS REALITY..... I JUST COMMENT ON IT!

I have found that most... If not all of the Boston Film people that I have come in contact with are:

FULL OF THEMSELVES.... BRAGGARTS.... & FOOLS...... DELUSIONAL PSYCHOPATHS THAT SEEK TO SUCK THE DREAMS FROM OTHER DEMENTED, LOWER TYPES... & IN THE PROCESS, BUILD THEMSELVES UP INTO SOMETHING THAT THEY ARE NOT.....TO TURN THEMSELVES INTO SOME MAD DEMENTED VISION THEY HAVE OF HOW "TRUE" HOLLYWOOD TYPES ACT & LIVE... BUT BOY, HAVE THEY GOT IT ALL WRONG!

I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING FED THIS DERANGED DELUSION OF HOW THEY THINK HOLLYWOOD REALLY IS... BUT THESE SIMPLETONS & FOOLS THAT MIMIC WHAT THEY BELIEVE TO BE THE "REAL" HOLLYWOOD ARE SO INSANELY WRONG THAT IT MAKES THOSE OF US IN THE KNOW.... WANT TO PUKE!

THERE ARE SOME CREATIVE BUSINESS TYPES OUT IN HOLLYWOOD THAT ARE KIND, DECENT HUMAN BEINGS THAT STILL MAKE A FANTASTIC LIVING!

Is it wrong to say what I believe???

What I know to be true???

Is this Suicide??... To speak ones mind??

To say what truly is... As opposed to playing a part of the status Quo that has it all ass backwards, wrong & upside down???

Could I be wrong?... Sure I could..... But I aint!

Am I to be Stoned because I dare to speak my mind?

This is not Professional Jealousy here folks... This is just one man's opinion... ( Mine), & you can take it, or leave it....

All I am speaking about comes from years of attempting to connect with Pro film people out here on the East coast with absolutely NO LUCK AT ALL!

I have tried everything.... Humor... Seriousness... Small talk... Business talk... Jokes... to simply passing out my resume ( a resume, I might ad, that isn't at all very spectacular, but by most standards out here in the Boston circuit... I'm freakin Spielberg! )

So I am left with the completely tormented knowledge that I am NOT QUALIFIED TO WORK FOR EVEN THE MOST LOWELY OF PROJECTS OUT HERE... FOR THE MOST BASIC OF COOKIE CUTTER PRODUCTION COMPANIES ON THE EAST COAST....

When a man comes from Hollywood California... Back to Boston.... & attempts to connect with almost anybody in the local film community... on any level & is practically begging for PA work & still cannot find it...... SOMETHING MUST BE DRASTICALLY WRONG!

I GET ABSOLUTELY LITTLE RESPONSE FROM THE PEOPLE ON THIS BEANYWOOD SITE... (Except a few cool people).

I AM ACTUALLY TRYING TO OPEN A HONEST & REAL DISCUSSION ON BUSINESS ETHICS OUT HERE.....

THE WAY HOLLYWOOD IS PERCEIVED BY NEW ENGLAND FILM WANNA-BE'S....

I LIVED TO SOME DEGREE "THE HOLLYWOOD DREAM"...

ALBIET.... "THE CLASSIC..... HOLLYWOOD DREAM GONE WRONG"... BUT NEVER THE LESS.... I LIVED THE REAL DEAL.... THE HOLLYWOOD LIFE... MAKING MY LIVING IN THE CITY OF LOST ANGELS WHILE THE DEVILS SURROUNDED US DAY & NIGHT.

THESE DEVILS WOULD GET OFF THE BUS EVERYDAY & POINT AT US AS WE MADE MOVIES IN FRONT OF GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATRE...

WHILE WE SLAVED AWAY EVERYDAY IN THE LOST CITY OF BRIGHT LIGHTS THAT SHINE DOWN FROM THE HILLS OF MADNESS & BROKEN DREAMS....

LOSING OUR FOOTING ALONG THE WAY... DAY AFTER DAY.... BUT NEVER QUITE FALLING.... & STILL CLIMBING THAT NEVER ENDING MOUNTAIN TO THE TOP OF THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS....

ONLY TO FIND THAT WE WERE STILL... TRULY IN THE GUTTER... & AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE BARREL... & HAD TO START OUR ASCENT ALL OVER AGAIN.... TO REALIZE YET AGAIN... ON ANOTHER DAY... THAT WE WERE STILL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HEAP WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PROGRESS IN SITE....

TO JUST START EVERYDAY.... ALL OVER... TIME & TIME AGAIN... LIKE SOME BAD EPISODE FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE.... AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL!

THIS IS THE HOLLYWOOD THAT I CAME FROM... THE HOLLYWOOD THAT BEATS YOU DOWN DAY IN & DAY OUT WITH NO HOPE IN SITE......

THEN OUT OF NOWHERE...... BANG!....

A SMALL GLIMMERING HOPE OF ESCAPE COMES YOUR WAY & LIKE A PUFF OF SMOKE IN THE NIGHT....

POOF........ YOUR DREAMS DISSIPATE RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES & FADE BACK INTO THE SHADOWS... LIKE THE MIST IN THE NGHT..... FROM THE HOT SANTA ANA WINDS THAT ROLL THRU THE DESERT AT DAWN.

THESE ARE THE VERY THINGS THAT SHATTER YOUR SOUL...... BREAK YOUR MIND..... DESTROY YOUR CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF & YOUR FELLOW MAN.....

& THEN THE DAY COMES THAT YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH.... THAT YOU CAN TAKE NO MORE OF THIS TORMENTED DAMNATION...

THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME HOME TO PEACE OF MIND & SANITY.... TO FIND SOLACE IN THE DECENCY OF GOOD OLE HOME TOWN AMERICA!

ONLY TO FIND A DENIZEN OF DEMENTED DREAMERS LOST IN THE WANNA-BE LAND OF THE FAST TRACK HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE...

AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS....................."SCREAM!"

IS IT COOL TO BE FAKE?????

IS IT RIGHT TO ACT WRONG????

IS RUDENESS THE ONLY "SHOW BIZ" WAY???

WHEN YOU PEOPLE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A TENTH OF THIS HOLLYWOOD BULLSHIT...

YOU WILL REALIZE THAT THIS FEMALE... THIS DREAM... THIS WOMAN KNOWN AS "HOLLYWOOD"... IS THE BITCH GODDESS FROM HELL...

& THAT SHE WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL ALIVE & SPIT YOU OUT THE BOTTOM...

A WASTED SHELL OF A HUMAN THAT YOU ONCE WERE...

THEN.... & ONLY THEN... MIGHT YOU HAVE A SMALL CLUE AS TO WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH & WHAT I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THROUGH OUT ALL OF MY BLOGS HERE ON BEANYWOOD.....

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO OVER LOOK & IGNORE PEOPLE'S ARROGANT, RUDE, TO COOL FOR SCHOOL BEHAVIOR ON WHAT THEY 'PERCEIVE" THE REAL HOLLYWOOD TO BE LIKE.....

BUT I AM TRULY FED UP WITH THESE CHILDISH & UTTERLY ABYSMAL HUMAN TYPES THAT FEEL THEY ARE "TRUELY" MEANT FOR HOLLYWOOD.... & WITH THAT......

THEY FEEL THE NEED TO LIVE OUT SOME FAIRY-TALE...GUM SHOE Z-MOVIE VERSION OF WHAT THEY THINK "REAL HOLLYWOOD" IS LIKE!

SO THEY SPEND ALL THERE TIME TRYIN TO MIMIC THE HOLLYWOOD BIG BOYS BY PISSING ON ALL THE SMALL DOGS THAT THEY CAN....

ALL THIS DOES IS BREED ILL WILL.... CONFUSION.... & ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING FOR ANYONE!

WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU UPPITY BOSTON FILM TYPES GOING TO GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR BUMS & OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE REAL WORLD???

A WORLD THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO CRUSH OTHER PEOPLES DREAMS TO GET AHEAD....

A WORLD WERE PEOPLE CAN STILL BE DECENT TO ONE ANOTHER & STILL CREATE SOMETHING GOOD & PROFITABLE...

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I RAIL AGAINST....

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT GAUL ME MOST...

UNMITIGATED UNNECESSARY HUMAN RUDENESS!

WAKE UP PEOPLE OF BOSTON......

DON'T LET THE POD PEOPLE TAKE OVER COMPLETELY......

HILLARY CLINTON IS NOT YOUR FRIEND......

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY DEVILS IN MAKE-UP.....

FOR I AM ONE TO KNOW..... FOR I HAVE SEEN THE DARK-SIDE OF THE LONG NIGHT IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS...

WHERE VERY FEW....... EVER MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!

All I have been doing these last few years is to attempt to find a way to make a God damn Honest & legal living out here on the East coast in the film community....

& I HAVE FAILED MISERABLY!.....

If you wonder why I appear to have an ATTITUDE.....

WOULDN'T YOU?

Signed,
Craig "The X-Hollywood Reject" Amabello

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