Hello Boston.... Hello Beanywood.... This is your good ole X-Hollywood Reject, Craig Amabello reporting in from the bottom of the barrel of life in New England.
After 5 years of laboring in Vain... Sending out OVER 3,000 RESUMES... Approximately 6,000 Emails.... Countless phone calls.... Attempting to get ANY KIND OF LOW BUDGET FILM & VIDEO PRODUCTION WORK out here in New England.... Offering myself to individuals.... Companies.... Groups of people that may need a Professional DIRECTOR... SHOOTER... OR EDITOR with 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE...... I have come to the sad & Frustrating conclusion that......
It is impossible for ME to get ANY CRAPPY LOW PAYING GIGS OUT HERE DOING ANY CRAPPY LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION!!!!!
I GIVE UP ON THE BOSTON FILM MAKING COMMUNITY.... ON NEW ENGLAND DIRECTORS... ARTISTS... BUSINESSMEN & WOMEN.....
ON BOSTON & NEW ENGLAND PEOPLE IN GENERAL!
OR ANYBODY OUT HERE FOR THAT MATTER..... THAT EXPECTS YOU TO WORK LIKE A FRIGGIN "SLAVE" FOR NOTHING BUT THE BETTERMENT OF THEMSELVES & THE PROMISE OF "MAYBE" PAYING GIGS SOMEDAY IN THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!
In 12 years.... On my WORST day's in Los Angeles.... On my Worst Gigs.... Shooting PORN.... For Low Budget.... DERANGED, NAZI, SCUM-BAG, FOREIGNERS... I Made MORE Money & was TREATED BETTER..... THAN ANY GIG I HAVE BEEEN OFFERED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND IN 5 YEARS!!!!!!
Just let that sentence sink in for a minute Folks..... Imagine how BAD my Lowest Paying & Worst Days out in HOLLYWOOD could have been....... & THEY STILL HAVE BEEN BETTER DAYS & PAY..... THAN ANY GIGS EVER OFFERED OUT HERE!!!
That THOUGHT alone..... is so very disturbingly twisted & sad on SO MANY LEVELS.... as to actually BOGGLE THE IMAGINATION.... & MELT the Mind of any Vaguely, Self Respecting human being that would make ANYONE HOLD THEIR HANDS UP & SCREAM........
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THS PICTURE??????".... "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"
I AM OFFERING MYSELF LIKE A CHEAP 10 DOLLAR TAIWANESE LADY BOY AT 3 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN BANGKOK WITH A ROOM FULL OF DRUNKEN, WHITE, AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN...... & I STILL GET NO OFFERS!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........
What Amazes me is even more IS.... HOW THE HELL DO ALL YOU REST OF YOU PEOPLE OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND MAKE A LIVING DOING PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION WORK ????
I don't have a freakin clue anymore than an Opium smokin Chinamen in a French Whorehouse selling vibrators to Lithuanian Lesbian Nuns, While Catholic Priests try to start their own Daycare center for School boys & can't fathom why..... things ain't going right for them!!!!
I am sick of PRETENTIOUS NOBODIES demanding MEETINGS & offering NO PAYING GIGS in Return! The few offers that I have had have been for NO MONEY... Just A Bunch of TALK about BACK END DEALS that MAY make us all lots of money somewhere in the future for some FAR OFF potential Projects.... BUT FIRST.... I NEED YOU TO WORK FOR ME FOR FREE!
That Crap talk is for LOSERS... BY LOSERS... & let me tell you...
ONE PERSON out of 1,000,000 MAY be worth that kind of CONSIDERATION.....
But none of these EGOTISTICAL... LOUDMOUTH.... SELF BLOATED... SELF RIGHTEOUS... IDIOTS that I have talked to out here are even worth doing business with for ANY money at all!!!!
REALITY CHECK:.... In the REAL WORLD.... You don't have your toilet fixed BUT FIRST TELL THE PLUMBER you need to have a meeting with them so that YOU can CHECK THEM OUT & then explain to them that if this job PAYS NO MONEY.... BUT if it goes ok... In the future you might have several more jobs for them that are much BETTER & ACTUALLY PAY REAL MONEY!!!
In what TWILIGHT ZONE DO THESE "ARTY FARTY"... SELF INVOLVED MORONS come from to think that this is not only NORMAL BEHAVIOR & LOGIC.......
BUT...... THAT IT HAS ACTUALLY BECOME "ACCEPTABLE".... & "STANDARD" PRACTICE OF DOING BUSINESS IN THE "MOVIE WORLD" OUT HERE!!!!!
This is all BULLSHIT SOCIO-PATHIC BEHAVIOR!.....
Don't EVER... let ANYBODY Convince YOU otherwise!!!!!!!!!
My last offer for work came from a Boston Business man that is running the "Boston Music Festival" and all he wanted from me was:
Put together 5 video production crews (of at least 3 people each) to shoot at 5 different nightclubs a night at destinations All over Boston for 5 straight days covering over 130 bands, (Also needing me to SHOOT Camera Myself at one of the clubs each night) & then put together an edited show for Broadcast on Cable, then do a DVD for "Best of performances", another edit for Website exposure, & one more video for the individual bands & only wanted to set up several KEY meetings with me & the other BIG Producers, cable company & businessmen while also scouting the locations of half a dozen nightclubs!
& get this............. HE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME A WEBSITE FOR ALL OF THIS WORK!!!!!!
In the REAL WORLD.... NOT THE BOSTON INSANE WORLD....
This was a $10,000 dollar gig just for myself.... And that would be a rock bottom low end price tag!
And this guy actually had the nerve to tell me that my Credentials were IMPRESSIVE & THAT HE HAD SEEN SAMPLES OF MY WORK & WAS SURE THAT I WAS NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HIGHLY SKILLED & THAT I WAS THE MAN FOR THE JOB & THAT HE DESPERATELY NEEDED THE SERVICES OF SOMEONE WITH MY BACKGROUND & KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!
& then he called me & emailed me several times BAFFLED that I wouldn't return his calls & set up Meetings with him & his people!
& then when I Politely & calmly & Professionally explained to this MADMAN That I work for Gringo dollars & actually need to MAKE REAL MONEY to PAY actual bills because My IMAGINARY FRIENDS JUST DON'T LIVE IN MY MIND! He actually got INDIGNANT & MENTIONED THAT HE WAS POTENTIALLY GOING TO THROW A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF BUSINESS MY WAY & I WAS ACTING EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL BY "BLOWING HIM & HIS OFFER OFF!"
Now Kids.... I ain't smokin crack... & I am not Delusional, or IMAGINING THESE THINGS..... But how could any SANE HUMAN BEING SAY THIS CRAP TO SOMEBODY & NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY??????
So I am Utterly Baffled here folks..... I have no clue as to how I'm going to Survive.... Or how I'm going to get through this drought & RUT I'm in...... But I'll tell you this kids... I am no longer going to SUFFER THESE DELUSIONAL, INSANE, EGOMANIACS OUT HERE IN BOSTON ANY LONGER!!!!!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...... I HAVE TO HOLD ON TO MY LAST SHRED OF DIGNITY & SAY "SCREW THIS BULLSHIT!"
It's sad.... But there are so many SMALL minded people.... So many JEALOUS PEOPLE OUT HERE IN BOSTON.... SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE.... "L S" (yes, the one from your very own Beanywood site) that act, think, walk & talk like THEY are "IN THE KNOW, HOLLYWOOD SHOW BIZ PEOPLE"...
But in fact are just very egomaniacal, jaded, close minded, Snobby, Elitist individuals that want to keep others down... refuse to Communicate (because god knows I have tried several times to get in touch with her & have always been extremely polite & Ass kissey... But this has been of no avail to me anyways)....
& I truly Hope you Good people out there understand that this type of behavior is SYMPTOMATIC OF NARCISSISTIC, PRETENTIOUS, BETTER THAN THOU, ARTY FARTY I AM "OH SO MUCH MORE HOLLYWOOD THAN YOU CRAP" That is bringing this city into the GUTTER FASTER THAN THE TWIN TOWERS COULD FALL!
We don't need another Arrogant idiot with power trying to build themselves up by tearing others down & feeling oh so SUPERIOR in the Process!!!
Boston people need to be Rational..... Human.... REAL....
STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD!!!!
HOLLYWOOD IS FULL OF SICK, TWISTED SCUM!
If this town ever has a chance of giving Talented, decent, hardworking, creative people a chance.... It needs to get real & come down of it's High Horse & start making sense in the REAL WORLD!
NOT THE STUPID SCREWED UP FAKE WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD!
1 HOLLYWOOD IS BAD ENOUGH KIDS....... WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER!
So to all the Decent, Talented & hardworking people out here in New England (because I know there MUST be at least a few of you out there)..... I wish YOU luck!
I have HIT A BRICK WALL out here in Boston..... I need to Re-Think.... Re-Plan... Re-build, what I was already trying to rebuild from my Twisted life left over from my Hollywood yesteryears.
But I do know this kids from experience.... Don't TRY to ACT like HOLLYWOOD.... HOLLYWOOD SUCKS!
Just be yourselves... Be real... Be decent to other Human beings.... Hollywood is HOLLOW.... SHALLOW.... HEARTLESS.... UNFORGIVING...... CRUEL... EMPTY.... DEAD.... COLD.
Ask yourself this people... Is this what you want to be when YOU grow up? Is that what you Aspire to? I hope not.
Wish me luck kids.....
Because..... As dear ole Bon Scott from AC/DC always said: it's a "LONG WAY TO THE TOP..... IF YOU WANNA ROCK & ROLL"!
Goodbye for now, from your X-Hollywood Show Biz Rebel......... Craig Amabello
P.S: Always remember to check out my work, Thoughts & Life at http://www.youtube.com/CraigsRealTv
Because Boys & Girls.... I will ALways tell it like it is..... EVEN IF IT HURTS Both..... YOU & ME!
Craig Amabello says: having a good attitude in life is very important.... Especially if you chose show biz for your profession.... When your job as a REAL person... Is to make FAKE reality seem real.... It can all get pretty damn surreal, bizarre and twisted up inside your head... So having a sense of humor about it all is so VERY important!
Unfortunately my attitude confuses people a lot.... I am very sarcastic and dark... But I am also very friendly and helpful and I love to make fun of everything.... And I try my best to laugh and have a good time no matter where I am, what I am doing, or who I am with.
Unfortunately many times, people confuse my easy going attitude with weakness.... and my clowning around makes people think I'm a bloody moron... So it just sucks when people try to take advantage of my good natured & easy going ways.
Which leads me to my Topic of this blog..... ATTITUDES...... Hollywood can be a very closed, tight knit place where it is almost impossible to break into the business because only a handful of people truly do run the entire town. And many people develop serious attitudes in their attempt to mask or cover up their own insecurities & weaknesses so they can act all big & important.... It can be most painful & heartbreaking just trying to make it through another day in Hollywood & if you can't find a way to laugh at all this insanity.... You can go CRAZY!
I left Hollywood after 12 long years of struggling & frustration dealing with so many BAD attitudes and all I was doing was just trying to better my life & get to a higher position & work on bigger & better paying productions.... But for the life of me, I just couldn't find the right door to open, or the right window to climb in to better my position in the hard, cold world of Hollywood.
All my struggles where in vain... I never did better myself.... My attempt to climb that elusive ladder of success, was a complete failure!.... I finally gave in & had to admit.... That I was a loser & that Hollywood had Kicked me like a raw dog & beaten me to the bone & slammed me into the ground like a chewed up rag doll!
But I can still laugh & smile when I look back fondly of my days in LA.
I learned a lot working on many low paying jobs doing camera work and editing. The things I learned could never be taught in a class room, because once you get into the REAL WORLD of Hollywood production... you find that many supposed rules, just fly out the window. The directors drunk & in a bad mood, The actors been doing coke for days & can't remember their lines, the DP was dating the actress & now hates her & wants to make her look horrible, the production manager has only booked talent that he thinks he can have sex with & they have no talent at all, the producer is making last minute changes with actresses because he had sex with a girl the night before & promised her a role in the movie & she can't act at her way out of a paper bag, the owner of the shooting location turns out to be a crystal meth addict & still wants to conduct drug deals while we are trying to work...... & on & on...... but you learn that you still have to get through the day somehow & COMPLETE the project.
Now I know this may all sound far fetched & weird to you people, & probably doesn't occur on a George Lucas picture... But in the Hollywood world that I worked in... "The Low budget world".... this kind of stuff occurred all the time! And believe me, it was fascinating at times to work around all these obstacles & still get the days work done.... but it just put a lot of undue pressure on me to work under these conditions.
That's why I so desperately wanted to find better paying gigs with bigger & more professional production companies, but I just had know idea how to go about meeting the right people. I was making $300 a day as my rate as a cameraman & I worked approx. 3 days a week shooting & I also did editing 2 to 3 days a week on top of that for various different rates.... Many projects I shot, I also ended up editing... And believe me, when the cast & crew are all in a bad mood for the entire shoot & the script goes out the window & the shooting is horrible & I end up having a producer breathing down my neck to complete a project because the release date is 5 days away.... THE PRESSURE JUST BECOMES ENORMOUS!
But I developed a thick skin & learned to laugh at everything & tried not to let it get to me... otherwise you would go insane! I know I have a weird attitude & very sarcastic out look on everything... but no matter who I worked for, or what I was being paid, wether they were big movie stars, (yes, once in awhile I actually did work with big movie stars), or just brand new unknown actors, I prided myself on my ability to be helpful, happy, and professional in the sense that I always tried to do the best that I could under whatever circumstances we were shooting under.
I found that it was very important to have a sense of humor when you find yourself working 12 to 14 hour days... day in & day out under such pressure to complete projects on time & on budget. But many of the people that I worked with, were just miserable. They would start the day at 7 am complaining and bitching about how they hated everything and it never made sense to me why these people where even in show biz in the first place if they hated it so much. So I always chose to be the nice guy... The helpful guy... If a light needed to be placed I would place it, if a chair needed to be moved I'd move it... If the talent needed water, I would go & get it for them... There was nothing I wouldn't do to try & make the day just a little bit nicer, a little bit happier, so that we could all accomplish the job at hand.... Which was getting the movie shot!
Now I have only worked on a handful of productions out here on the east coast since I have been back from LA & the one thing that I have found is that all anyone seems to do out here is TALK ABOUT HOLLYWOOD.... Everyone seems so HELL BENT on BEING like Hollywood.... Acting like they think Hollywood is.... Using fancy terms.... Big titles.... almost putting more importance on talking about a shot with the proper vernacular & Buzz words that would make them seem like Hollywood big shots, than to actually just do the shot without all the damn Jingo & jargon that would befit a Hollywood production!
On one shoot I worked on as a grip making $4.16 cents an hour (yes, I actually figured out how much I was being paid by the hour) I was actually fired after the DP asked me several times to get him some C-64's... This was in front of 6 or 8 crew members (I never could figure out why the hell there was so many crew on this shoot, we were shooting in a small cramped basement room... & none of them seemed to be doing anything.... That's another pet peeve of mine, directors having huge crews just to satisfy & stroke their damn ego's).... Anyways, I scratched my head & felt like a fool in front of all these people looking at me, but I had no idea what the hell a C-64 was..... Finally after almost 2 minutes, the DP looked at me & said, "The Clothes Pin, I need a couple clothes pins!"
Now why couldn't he have just said that in the first place once he realized that I didn't know what a C-64 was.... BUT NO..... This guy just wanted it all to sink in & deliberately wanted to belittle me in front of a room full of useless people..... He actually enjoyed waiting for me to ask him, "I don't know what you want?"... Should I have known a clothes pin is called a C-64?... Sure I should have, but jesus, couldn't he have cut me some slack?
Previous to this, he had spent the whole day barley even acknowledging me as I spent the day bending over backwards, keeping my mouth shut, running extension cords all over the place, getting lights, stands, gels & scrims & doing the best I could to help the production along. It wasn't as if I was drunk, screwing around, talking, being disruptive & just hanging out all day doing nothing... I actually worked hard lugging some heavy equipment around & being right by his side to get him whatever he needed & he never once even said hello to me, or even thanked me when I ran around getting stuff like a good little gofer grip.
I mean, this guy came in with an attitude that was high & mighty right from the start of the day because he was the Director of Photography & I could sense that I was just a lowly grip (not to mention that I was probably twice his age, which made me feel like even more of a loser than I already felt)... & I just went about the day doing what I was told to do with no complaints whatsoever..... And then at the end of the day when he fired me, he seemed to really enjoy it!
On another shoot I worked on as a cameraman, this young kid, an Emerson graduate, was all talk about Hollywood this & Hollywood that... He talked loud & made damn sure that the 8 people waiting around could hear him and understood that HE was the Director of Photography.... This guy just reeked of ATTITUDE... & It just seemed crazy to me to be so hung up on titles & to cop an attitude in front of all these people..... It was just embarrassing.... But I shut my mouth because I had worked with the director before & I liked him & didn't want to cause problems on the shoot.
So like an idiot, the director & I did all of the lugging of equipment up 3 flights of stairs, while this DP & his assistant went & got pizza! I bent over backwards to be friendly & polite & asked him what I could do to help & he just treated me like I was some homeless bum off the street looking for a bottle of booze.
The final straw was when he asked me to go downstairs to grab another sandbag & when I did, he couldn't believe I just dropped it on the floor 5 feet away from him... he actually expected me to bring it right to him & put it exactly where he was going to tell me to! I fumed, but kept my composure for the good of the shoot & just quietly walked way & waited for him to be ready.
After this DP spent over 3 hours setting up 2 lights & a jib, keeping 8 people waiting... he turned to the assembled cast & said, "Welcome to Hollywood!"
The point of all this is: That I came back east because I was fed up with the Hollywood attitudes & now all I seem to be surrounded by is people with A HOLLYWOOD ATTITUDE..... And we aint even in Hollywood!
Its nice to know the right terminology & the proper things you need to do to complete a production.... But so far, out here..... I just seem to run into people were its ALL ABOUT the Show biz Jargon... The Hollywood Glitz.... It's more important to look & sound & act the Hollywood part.... Than it is to just COMPLETE THE PRODUCTION!
So the lesson to be learned out here kids is this: ...... What's more important to you? To do a good job, be creative, make some money & be proud of your work......
Or to look & act COOL like you think HOLLYWOOD big wigs would & to slow down the shoot with a bunch of garbage talk, debate, useless fancy terms, Titles, big Ego's & ATTITUDES?????......
I know there are some really cool & talented people out here just waiting to shine..... And I hope that these people that I have been dealing with are NOT THE NORM..... That they are FREAKS..... & do not represent the basic attitude of most film makers out here on the east coast.
Good luck people in your search for your dreams..... I hope you do well.... treat people with respect & decency.... & create the ART that YOU want to make!
I would love it if you PEOPLE would make some comments on what I have written..... Tell me I'm wrong.... Give me your opinion..... Let people know about YOUR experiences in film making out here on the east coast..... We all need to share each others experiences.... good and bad.... Maybe that way, it can help us all learn to make a better film community out here on the east coast that may someday rival Hollywood!
For I am: Craig Amabello, an X-Hollywood Reject!
PLEASE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY ROCK VIDEOS THAT I DIRECTED, SHOT AND EDITED OUT IN HOLLYWOOD AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.... I would love to hear what people think of my work... I need feed back to know if my work is any good or not:
just go to: http://www.hollywoodeasttv.com/profile/craigamabello
ALSO CHECK OUT MY WHACKY VLOGS ON YOUTUBE.... THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT... BUT MIGHT JUST MAKE "YOU" FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE!
http://www.youtube.com/craigsrealtv
Please Comment.... Rate.... and subscribe to my channel..... I always love to hear peoples opinions... even if its negative... As long as its real... & sincerely meant..... I don't care what you say about me..... BUT JUST SAY SOMETHING!
Hello Beanywood.... Hello New England Film Makers..... How are your lives going?????
Mine is in the gutter..... This site doesn't even acknowledge my existence after 25 posts & over 14 thousand views....... But hell.... I'm just a nobody BUM that spent 12 year working & living & paying my BILLS in HOLLYWOOD... Ya know... The "REAL DEAL".... A guy that knows SOMETHING about Hollywood... But I'm just POND SCUM compared to the REAL players out here in NEW ENGLAND!
So here's what I've been up to..... I got my first gig EVER out here in New England after almost 4 YEARS OF BEGGING PEOPLE FOR ANY CRAPPY PRODUCTION JOB..... It was as an editor for an online gambling website located in Beverly Mass... The pay was $17.25 an hour.... Just enough for me to buy crack.... (NO Hookers), Just lousy Crack... Anyways I took the job.. Smiled... worked hard... kept my mouth Shut & listened to MORONS Bossing me around.... I did what I was told... & after less then 2 months.... After going through 2 BOSSES... (the first being a nazi, Gestapo Rude Arrogant Loser... Who called himself a DIRECTOR... & spent all day trying to figure out ways to boss me around & I took his CRAP Daily.... HE was finally FIRED..... & then my NEXT boss... ended up being the SON of the owner... A completely UNHINGED, DERANGED, DANGEROUS, PSYCHOPATH of a LOSER who's LIFE'S AMBITION was to be a COP!!!!!!..... Long story short.... This pathetic loser... Who for some screwed up reason had the audacity to claim to be MY boss... ended up CHASING me OFF the JOB by threats of TAZERING ME.... Assaulting ME... BEATING ME up... (Because I refused to TEACH HIM Final Cut Pro) & HE was going to HUNT ME DOWN & GET ME.... All because I refused to take HIS CRAP anymore...... I never got payed my last weeks pay.... (I have since gone to the Mass Attorneys General's Office & complained about my pay & how I was THREATENED & CHASED OFF THE JOB.... & have not been PAYED as of YET.... BU T THEY are still looking into it!!!!!)..... And FOLKS...... That was just my FIRST & ONLY JOB offer that I finally got out here in NEW ENGLAND!...... So ya gotta wonder Folks..... Who the hell else is working out here for MONEY????..... Anyways..... Lets fast forward to just the other day...... After sending out over 2,000... Yes Kids, that's right..... OVER TWO THOUSAND Emails to EVERYBODY.... Looking for ANY kind of WORK..... I RECEIVED a COUPLE RESPONSES!!!!!!!!..... Whoopee!!!!!!!.... YAhhhhhhhhh.....
Here's response ONE: It was for an ad making $50 dollars a day as a BOOM Operator.... Yes sir, FIFTY big ones a DAY!.... I Gladly responded not once.... but TWICE with my PHONE NUMBER & QUALIFICATIONS & RESUME WITH LINKS TO MY WORK...... For $50 Freakin Bucks a DAY!..... I received a email back with NO NAME.... NO NUMBER...... NO INFORMATION WHATS SO EVER......... Just the CRYPTIC Words...... WE might be all set for this Boom gig... BUT HANG TIGHT..... WE MIGHT BE CALLING YOU!.... Zooweee..... Wowee....... THEY "MIGHT" be callin ME???????...... I eventually received a CALL at 7:00 AM On a Sunday Morning &, believe it or not... I MISSED THE CALL!!!!!!...... When I called the number back... (there was no Message.... NO Name... NO NUMBER.... & NO reference whatsoever as to what the call was about) I reached a Women who stated that HER Brother was making a MOVIE & MAYBE he HAD called ME?????..... Believe it or not... I still left MY NAME & NUMBER & REASON for calling & have YET RECEIVED a CALL BACK!!!!!!
Here's an example of another Response from another GREAT NEW England Film Maker........
RESPONSE NUMBER 2: This guy had an AD Looking for a camera man to shoot in DOWNTOWN Boston Mass for 3 HOURS with a PROFESSIONAL CAMERA..... I SENT him all MY info & patiently waited for a reply.... After several hours & hear back from him & the gig paid $60. Dollars...... Thats Right FOLKS..... SIXTY DOLLARS!!!!!!
Whopppeeeeee..... Zoweeeeee......... I can't believe MY good Fortune!.... I quickly & Politely EMAILED HIM right back & stated: Make it, $100 dollars.... & you have a deal!....... NEEDLESS TO SAY....... I NEVER HEARD BACK FROM THIS BIG TIME, NEW ENGLAND ENTREPRENEUR.........
& the FINAL KICKER OF THE DAY....... (This all occurred Yesterday folks, On Sunday May 11, 2008)... I emailed an AD FOR A BIG NEW ENGLAND CASTING COMPANY Looking for a CASTING DIRECTOR.... I told them, my background was primarily in Video Production, But that I was looking to EXPAND my horizons & felt that I could be quite good at working for a New England Casting Agency considering that I spent 12 years Working & Living in Hollywood California & that I have over 30 years in the Entertainment Business.......
I will now give you an EXAMPLE OF OUR EMAILS:
MY FIRST EMAIL RESPONSE TO THIS AD FOR WORK AT A NEW ENGLAND CASTING AGENCY:
On Sun, May 11, 2008 at 12:29 AM, Craig Amabello wrote: Hi, I noticed your post... I am qualified in video production & have over 30 years experience in Show business... I would like to speak with you about this position... Maybe I could be the right candidate for the job... I am looking to expand my horizons & would feel right at home dealing with many sorts of talented actors, etc.
I have enclosed my resume for you to look at. Thanx's Craig Amabello Located in: Southern New Hampshire. Contact me @: Laconnection101@aol.com
And of course my resume shows my MANY YEARS EXPERIENCE IN VIDEO PRODUCTION....
I then receive THIS BACK AS A REPLY FROM THIS BUSINESS PERSON...
On May 11, 2008, at 1:58 PM, XXXXXXX wrote:
Hi,
What can you offer Our Casting Company?
SO I THEN.... CALMLY... PROFESSIONALLY..... ANSWER HIM BACK WITH THIS, SINCERE RESPONSE!
On Sun, May 11, 2008 at 2:23 PM, Craig Amabello wrote:
A) I'M HONEST...... B) I'M HARD WORKING...... C) I'M INTELLIGENT....... D) I AM GOOD WITH PEOPLE...... E) I'M CREATIVE...... I write, make music, do photography & do Video.... F) I CAN SHOOT VIDEOS OF YOUR TALENT FOR AUDITIONS G) I CAN SHOOT STILLS OF ALL YOUR TALENT FOR HEAD-SHOTS, ETC. H) I CAN GIVE DIRECTION.... OR I CAN TAKE DIRECTION... I'm a team player.
And I have a good, basic, common sense about ALL the basics of Show business.... With over 35 years involvement.
Do you have any other questions that I could answer for you? Please feel free to ask me anything. Thanx's Craig Amabello
and this piece of crap MORON scum-bag HAS THE AUDACITY TO EMAIL ME BACK & SAY!
On May 11, 2008, at 2:26 PM, XXXXXXX wrote:
Thats wonderful Craig...but really didn't answer my question. WHAT CAN YOU OFFER MY COMPANY?
So I email this absolutely, Arrogant, Delusional, Hollywood WANNABE .... THIS RESPONSE:
May 11, 2008 5:31:33 PM EDT To: XXXXXXXX
From Craig Amabello:
MONEY?... BAGS OF GOLD?.... The best WHORES IN THE LAND?... DRUGS?????...... An Invitation to the White House????
DUDE.... I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN BY THAT QUESTION???
IT'S A VERY NEBULOUS QUESTION.... VERY VAGUE..... VERY ESOTERICAL????
PLEASE.... I'M JUST A DUMB COUNTRY BOY WITH NO COLLEGE EDUCATION....
I LIKE THINGS SIMPLE & SWEET & SPELLED OUT FOR ME!!!!!!
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT ME TO SAY??????
I AM NOT GOOD AT PLAYING GAMES....... I'M A SIMPLE GUY......
REALLY DUDE..... DON'T YOU THINK YOUR GETTING A LITTLE STRANGE WHEN I DO THE BEST I CAN TO ANSWER SUCH AN OPEN ENDED QUESTION SUCH AS YOU GAVE ME & THEN YOU EMAIL BACK & SAY I DIDN'T ANSWER YOUR QUESTION????
CHRIST........ TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT??????????
This ALL pretty much explains MY HATRED TO THE NEW ENGLAND FILM COMMUNITY...... ALL THE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH OVER THE PAST 4 YEARS ALL ARE SO DESPERATELY ATTEMPTING TO " MIMIC" WHAT THEY THINK HOLLYWOOD TYPE PEOPLE WOULD ACT LIKE...........
PEOPLE.... THIS IS SO EVER WRONG!!!!.... Will will you people ever learn??????
Hollywood is made up of MOSTLY money GRUBBING sharks that would RAPE your lil sister or your mother for the next BIG DEAL!!!!
So many of YOU "NEW ENGLAND" FILM PEOPLE are so DESPERATELY TRYING TO MIMIC & FOLLOW THIS TYPE OF ATTITUDE & BEHAVIOR that it is DESPICABLE!.... DISGUSTING!!!!!!..... DEPLORABLE!!!!!...
PLEASE PEOPLE....... PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO MIMIC!!!!!!!
TO BE JUST ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD SCUM-BAG DOES NOT MAKE YOU CLEVER..... BETTER.... NOR, PROFESSIONAL.....
WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS HERE FOLKS..... WHY CAN'T WE HAVE THE SIMPLE COMMON COURTESY TO TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT??????
TRUST ME PEOPLE.... I AM ONE OF THE "ONLY PEOPLE" ON THIS DAMN SITE THAT HAS SPENT 12 LONG YEARS WORKING & LIVING IN HOLLYWOOD....... I HAVE SOME KNOWLEDGE OF THE PLACE.... I HAVE SOMETHING VALID TO SAY!!!!......
PLEASE PEOPLE.... I BEG OF YOU.... STOP TRYING TO MIMIC THE "WORST OF HOLLYWOOD!".....
Try to act like decent, civil, human beings with a little respect for other humans........ Life can still be good this way...... PLEASE PEOPLE...... UNTIL YOU HAVE SPENT THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT I HAVE SPENT DEALING WITH HOLLYWOOD ASSHOLES........ YOU WILL SOON REALIZE WHAT A SIN IT IS.... FOR "ALL OF US" TRYING TO DEAL WITH "PRETEND" WANNA-BE HOLLYWOOD ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!
DOES ANYBODY OUT THERE HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING??????
DOES ANYTHING I SAY MAKE SENSE TO ANYBODY OUT THERE??????
I AM SO LOST & FRUSTRATED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND..... KNOWING THAT ALL I DEAL WITH OUT HERE ARE LOUD MOUTH WANNA-BE HOLLYWOOD SCUM........
IT HURTS US ALL..... NOT JUST AS A BUSINESS.... BUT AS A PEOPLE AS A WHOLE!
PLEASE..... I BEG ALL OF YOU TO HEED MY WORDS.... THIS IS WHY AFTER 12 YEARS OF LIVING & WORKING IN HOLLYWOOD THAT I LEFT!
I COULDN'T STAND THE FAKE... PHONEY.... BULLSHIT... RUDE... ARROGANT BASTARDS ANYMORE!!......
& NOW I COME BACK HOME TO NEW ENGLAND & FIND EVERYBODY & THEIR BROTHER TRYING TO MIMIC THIS VERY SAME BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE PEOPLE....... WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE!.... I CAN NOT BE THE ONLY ONE EXPERIENCING THIS BEHAVIOR OUT HERE!!!!!
GROW UP....... BE HUMAN.... STOP BEING RUDE, DELUSIONAL ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!
From your very SAD, DEPRESSED X- HOLLYWOOD REJECT...... Craig Amabello.....
I will always tell it like it is...... Please people.... HEED MY WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!
Hello my dear Bostonians... Craig Amabello here... Your Truly Twisted & Demented X-Hollywood Reject phoning in from the front.
How are all of you film makers doing out there?
Are you living your dreams?
Are you attempting to live your dreams?
Do you just want to explode sometimes with frustration over not being able to create the Art that you truly know is inside you & SCREAMS to get out?
I know that I DO.... Everyday that goes by without another thing accomplished is truly another day wasted!
I am attempting to change my ways.... Lift my life above this crummy haze of dementia that spills over me like bad Whiskey.
Do any of you ever feel that nobody truly understands you?
Do you just want to get up & scream..... Time for a change!... Time to make my Destiny come true!
I know that I surely do.
I am a lost soul.... A brother of no man... A wandering Rock & Roll Gypsy that has his foot stuck in the big bad bear trap of life!
Time to shake off these shackles & get back to Reality....
Hollywood is calling my name.... I can hear her whispering my name in the winds...
Why won't SHE leave me alone?
Why do I hate & LOVE her so much?
Do any of you ever feel the same way that I do?
Or is it just me?... Trapped in my own mind... Shattered thoughts of Tattered dreams... Running around inside my head while all the rest of the voices Scream...... FEED ME! ... SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU CAN DO! ... TIME IS PASSING BY... I have no time to die.. Because I have a vision, A goal, A dream, that can not be shot down from the sky.
All those mean, Bitter, twisted, Hollow, Shallow people that get in my way, try to make me think I am a loser... The world is full of these angry people & I just do my best to ignore them. The Nay sayers shall not change MY visions... For I have a destiny... Show Biz is in my blood... Film Making is calling me... Creative energies just spill out of me, I just need to learn to FOCUS & re-direct my energies to accomplish all of my goals. ( don't let these people get you down folks... They will always be around every corner... Don't let others stop you from living your dreams).
Why is loneliness so bad? Better to be Misunderstood... Than a fool that follows the pack & regrets it on your death bed!
Heres a brief synopsis of my week in rewind...
Shot some great footage & interviews of Motor-cross X-game jumpers last weekend for a documentary that I am doing. (All very cool. Very down to earth people. Especially for guys that spend half of their day Flying, spinning, & jumping thru the air risking their lives like Evel Kneivel could only dream about).
Worked for the ER doctor again on his Documentary on Disillusioned Doctors. Shot some interview footage with his mom & actually asked some good hard hitting questions. (after shooting, I told the doc some stories of my childhood & he & his producer said THEY should be making a documentary about MY life!)
Saw myself on TV again last week in that whacky movie "Army of Darkness". Sam Raimi's 3rd Installment of the Evil dead series. A Cult classic starring my only true Hollywood friend, Bruce Campbell. This movie was shot many, many years ago & I actually am only on screen a few seconds here & there but I still get a kick out of seeing myself on television as I squander my time out here on the east coast struggling to find my place in life.
Heard thru my Hollywood connections that a big time Porn Director by the name of Jim Powers was on the Howard Stern show the other day & they ended up showing some of MY footage that I shot years ago that shows the crazy world of Adult entertainment.
Gotta work (as a lighting guy) on a Bernie & Phil furniture commercial next week shooting some new spots for them.
Today I am back in the studio shooting girls in the Mud pit. (yes, we actually put girls in a mud pit & they then recite some lines of dramatic dialogue as they Submerse themselves completely under!)
Gotta meet a guy next week to start shooting weddings... (yes Weddings... Arghhhhhh... I am such a whore.)
All next weekend I will be shooting Hockey matches for the league. (Hockey, what a disgusting charade. Its just Violence disguised as a sport.)
And that about wraps up my week... Quite a diverse little character I am huh? My life is so surreal, so demented, so utterly boring & yet, exciting at times, that sometimes I just can't do anything but smile & giggle to myself thinking is this a normal life? Do other people live this way?
As I walk this tight rope that is my life juggling kittens, hand grenades & digital content, I always wonder if I am going to fall... Or have I already fallen & I just can't get up?
My life is a bad B movie... & I have to turn it into a billion dollar franchise blockbuster & win over the masses so that my true talent can shine thru & the money piles up bigger than the gold in fort Knox. I know I have it in me... I just gotta get it OUTTA ME!
My best friend thinks that I am insane & that my Ambitions SUPER-CEDE my ABILITIES....
AM I just a fool? A dreamer? A child lost to the world? You bet I am... But it is all I have... It is all I have ever had... My ability to SEE REALITY for what it truly is & to still not let that throw me... Life is to short kids... Ya gotta have fun... Grab life & kick it in the Ass & giggle at the madness that surrounds us all...
The infinite wisdom of the ages is never lost on one such as I... As I watch this country growing closer & closer to the She-Devil that is known as Hillary Clinton I sometimes wonder am I the only one that can sense the madness? Taste the Fear? Nobodies gonna pull the wool over my eyes... The sheep go Bahhh & the Politicians are stirring up their Wicked Caldron of Befuddling madness to confuse the masses with their Bullshit & lies....
We need a new hero... Am I the one? Can I truly take on & accomplish all that I desire? (To create Cool Entertainment for the Befuddled masses), Or am I just a fool with a handful of mud & left over dreams from a bygone era?
Only time will tell.... For I am.... Craig Amabello Hollywoods Lost Child.
Time to PUT UP... Or shut up.
WIsh you all well in your pursuit of happiness & dreams... I sure could use some Positive thoughts.
From your friend on the edge of Insanity... Craig Amabello, your truly demented reporter & X-Hollywood Misfit.
Hope all of you wonderful people have fun at the big shin dig tonight....
Me? I can't go because I gotta start writing my memoirs so that I can sell myself... (yes, Just like a REAL Prostitute does) so that I can finally start getting my life & times on film & make a few hundred million. ( I'm running a little short on cash these last few years, with Hollywood Leaving me flat broke, In-debt, shattered & completely Unhinged and all).
Did I ever mention what a Horrible Bitch Goddess Hollywood truly is? The Land of the Leapers... The land of the Un-dead... The City of Lost Souls & Lost Angels... The blackness from within the golden realm of Globes & the hardened Angels of alcoholic Oscars, that roam the studio back-lots never change.
As the interns drive themselves over the cliffs of insanity on those twisted mountainous roads, on the way up to their Masters Malibu Mansions that sit on the edge, of the Brink of disaster... These masters, who themselves, are spiraling out of control on their own way down, as these newcomers climb up, just to descend into the beginning of the end.
The sickness rolls in, like the thick smog that stretches thru the night & into the hot desert dawn, as the daylight breaks on the Blackened, ashened faces of stunned children as they weep for mercy.
The relentless Propaganda machine pounds at their wee little hearts & destroys all that carelessly fall into its merciless path of indeterminable wholesale destruction.
At night, you can still hear the children cry out, as the desert wind stops to blow & the shadows fall, onto the sinners beautiful suntanned faces, as they crawl thru the valley of death in drunken disorder to end up just another, nameless, faceless, casualty of war by days end.
The Boulevard of Broken dreams was built on the blood of the innocent. As the neon signs that illuminate the night & hide the rot of the valley by day, shatters like cheap glass into the mouths of those that get so close that they can actually taste, feel & smell the rancid decay of death that permeates the hollow hollywood air.
Oxygen so thin, the altitude so high, that they can hardly breathe, as they gasp at their last breath of silence, as the blood drips down from their battered hands clutching their Emmys, Oscars & Golden Globes that can be bought in Tijuana for a pittance.
The old school stars know better than to play with matches, but the newcomers never learn. They march in, day after day, arriving by bus, train & planes, clutching onto their dreams... These fresh faced innocents think that they will not get burned by the shimmering lights that shine from the plastic streets that scream of fame & fortune... These streets only bring darkness & decent into madness to the many who have failed & lost their way.
These dreamers, these schemers, of whom most likely, no one will ever be seen or heard from again... for that is the way of the She Demon that prances in the daylight & masquerades as a pretty harlot. But as night comes, the true light shines down from the hills & unmasks the rotten, befouled devil that is the true Hollywood...... in the never ending cycle that eats up & spits out the weak & innocent into the streets like broken toys a child throws away from boredom.
Like vampires... the bloodlust never ends... And once the innocents have been turned... Like a trick in the night... They to, in turn, become the masters keepers of the gates of delusions, as the new ones come running into & at, the shiny bright lights of hollywood.. These lights, that attract so many, like a moth to a flame, are nothing what you think they are... These decoys of illumination are nothing other than a train... A train that is coming straight at you... ready to run you over & vanquish your soul. Another lamb... left to slaughter.
For that, my dear friends, Is the True Hollywood. What no book, magazine, or person will ever dare talk about or tell you. For she is a mistress without a heart or soul & she will steal your dreams & blind your eyes. And then, just for spite, she will steal your children's dreams & still come back for more, until the blood has gone dry & she has sucked the life out of all your brethren.
But I still miss Hollywood... Each & everyday.... I still dream of her... For I am smitten... I am hooked...
For I am... Craig Amabello... An X-Hollywood Reject... Who terribly misses his Home.
P.S: I gotta get a 3 picture deal, just for starters, so that I can catch up to my hero.... Sam Raimi.
Do not Hate me because I am from The "City of lost Angels".
For I am but an angel with a broken wing whom has lost his way.
An Angel, seeking a small, flickering light, that will help guide me back to reality, from the rocky, treacherous, slippery, shores of damnation & the brink of madness.
I have stood at the edge of the abyss for far too long.
I am weak, battle worn & in need of shelter from friendly mortals.
It is time for me to jump into the abyss.
To experience the madness from inside the lions mouth.
To leave the mortal world behind & go where only Fools, Madmen & Gods dare tread.
When you have been kicked out of Heaven & thrown back into hell & done your dozen years in Hollywood & you've Paid the Piper His Dues, you've given the ferryman his coin, & you've ridden on the dragons tail, then, & only then, might you begin to understand what it is that I am talking about.
For I am not Mad.... I am but a child in the storm, seeking shelter from the winds of Hate.
TO ALL THE TRULY KIND & DECENT PEOPLE OUT THERE:
....................................... May you Live Long & Prosper.
with a broken wing whom has lost his way.
An Angel, seeking a small, flickering light, that will help guide me back to reality, from the rocky, treacherous, slippery, shores of damnation & the brink of madness.
It is time for me to jump into the abyss.
To experience the madness from inside the lions mouth.
To leave the mortal world behind & go where only Fools, Madmen & Gods dare tread.
When you have been kicked out of Heaven & thrown back into hell & done your dozen years in Hollywood & you've Paid the Piper His Dues, you've given the ferryman his coin, & you've ridden on the dragons tail, then, & only then, might you begin to understand what it is that I am talking about.
I am but a child in the storm, seeking shelter from the winds of Hate.
