Category >> humor

Sep 03

Craig Amabello posts his last Blog to Beanywood

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Hello Boston.... Hello Beanywood.... This is your good ole X-Hollywood Reject, Craig Amabello reporting in from the bottom of the barrel of life in New England.

  After 5 years of laboring in Vain... Sending out OVER 3,000 RESUMES... Approximately 6,000 Emails.... Countless phone calls.... Attempting to get ANY KIND OF LOW BUDGET FILM & VIDEO PRODUCTION WORK out here in New England.... Offering myself to individuals.... Companies.... Groups of people that may need a Professional DIRECTOR... SHOOTER... OR EDITOR with 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE...... I have come to the sad & Frustrating conclusion that......

  It is impossible for ME to get ANY CRAPPY LOW PAYING GIGS OUT HERE DOING ANY CRAPPY LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION!!!!!

I GIVE UP ON THE BOSTON FILM MAKING COMMUNITY.... ON NEW ENGLAND DIRECTORS... ARTISTS... BUSINESSMEN & WOMEN.....

  ON BOSTON & NEW ENGLAND PEOPLE IN GENERAL!

  OR ANYBODY OUT HERE FOR THAT MATTER..... THAT EXPECTS YOU TO WORK LIKE A FRIGGIN "SLAVE" FOR NOTHING BUT THE BETTERMENT OF THEMSELVES & THE PROMISE OF "MAYBE" PAYING GIGS SOMEDAY IN THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!

  In 12 years.... On my WORST day's in Los Angeles.... On my Worst Gigs.... Shooting PORN.... For Low Budget.... DERANGED, NAZI, SCUM-BAG, FOREIGNERS... I Made MORE Money & was TREATED BETTER..... THAN ANY GIG I HAVE BEEEN OFFERED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND IN 5 YEARS!!!!!!

Just let that sentence sink in for a minute Folks..... Imagine how BAD my Lowest Paying & Worst Days out in HOLLYWOOD could have been....... & THEY STILL HAVE BEEN BETTER DAYS & PAY..... THAN ANY GIGS EVER OFFERED OUT HERE!!!

That THOUGHT alone..... is so very disturbingly twisted & sad on SO MANY LEVELS.... as to actually BOGGLE THE IMAGINATION.... & MELT the Mind of any Vaguely, Self Respecting human being that would make ANYONE HOLD THEIR HANDS UP & SCREAM........

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THS PICTURE??????".... "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"

I AM OFFERING MYSELF LIKE A CHEAP 10 DOLLAR TAIWANESE LADY BOY AT 3 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN BANGKOK WITH A ROOM FULL OF DRUNKEN, WHITE, AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN...... & I STILL GET NO OFFERS!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........

  What Amazes me is even more IS.... HOW THE HELL DO ALL YOU REST OF YOU PEOPLE OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND MAKE A LIVING DOING PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION WORK ????

  I don't have a freakin clue anymore than an Opium smokin Chinamen in a French Whorehouse selling vibrators to Lithuanian Lesbian Nuns, While Catholic Priests try to start their own Daycare center for School boys & can't fathom why..... things ain't going right for them!!!!

  I am sick of PRETENTIOUS NOBODIES demanding MEETINGS & offering NO PAYING GIGS in Return! The few offers that I have had have been for NO MONEY... Just A Bunch of TALK about BACK END DEALS that MAY make us all lots of money somewhere in the future for some FAR OFF potential Projects.... BUT FIRST.... I NEED YOU TO WORK FOR ME FOR FREE!

  That Crap talk is for LOSERS... BY LOSERS... & let me tell you...

  ONE PERSON out of 1,000,000 MAY be worth that kind of CONSIDERATION.....

But none of these EGOTISTICAL... LOUDMOUTH.... SELF BLOATED... SELF RIGHTEOUS... IDIOTS that I have talked to out here are even worth doing business with for ANY money at all!!!!

  REALITY CHECK:.... In the REAL WORLD.... You don't have your toilet fixed BUT FIRST TELL THE PLUMBER you need to have a meeting with them so that YOU can CHECK THEM OUT & then explain to them that if this job PAYS NO MONEY.... BUT if it goes ok... In the future you might have several more jobs for them that are much BETTER & ACTUALLY PAY REAL MONEY!!!

  In what TWILIGHT ZONE DO THESE "ARTY FARTY"... SELF INVOLVED MORONS come from to think that this is not only NORMAL BEHAVIOR & LOGIC.......

BUT...... THAT IT HAS ACTUALLY BECOME "ACCEPTABLE".... & "STANDARD" PRACTICE OF DOING BUSINESS IN THE "MOVIE WORLD" OUT HERE!!!!!

  This is all BULLSHIT SOCIO-PATHIC BEHAVIOR!.....

  Don't EVER... let ANYBODY Convince YOU otherwise!!!!!!!!!

  My last offer for work came from a Boston Business man that is running the "Boston Music Festival" and all he wanted from me was:

  Put together 5 video production crews (of at least 3 people each) to shoot at 5 different nightclubs a night at destinations All over Boston for 5 straight days covering over 130 bands, (Also needing me to SHOOT Camera Myself at one of the clubs each night) & then put together an edited show for Broadcast on Cable, then do a DVD for "Best of performances", another edit for Website exposure, & one more video for the individual bands & only wanted to set up several KEY meetings with me & the other BIG Producers, cable company & businessmen while also scouting the locations of half a dozen nightclubs!

  & get this............. HE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME A WEBSITE FOR ALL OF THIS WORK!!!!!!

  In the REAL WORLD.... NOT THE BOSTON INSANE WORLD....

  This was a $10,000 dollar gig just for myself.... And that would be a rock bottom low end price tag!

 And this guy actually had the nerve to tell me that my Credentials were IMPRESSIVE & THAT HE HAD SEEN SAMPLES OF MY WORK & WAS SURE THAT I WAS NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HIGHLY SKILLED & THAT I WAS THE MAN FOR THE JOB & THAT HE DESPERATELY NEEDED THE SERVICES OF SOMEONE WITH MY BACKGROUND & KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!

  & then he called me & emailed me several times BAFFLED that I wouldn't return his calls & set up Meetings with him & his people!

  & then when I Politely & calmly & Professionally explained to this MADMAN That I work for Gringo dollars & actually need to MAKE REAL MONEY to PAY actual bills because My IMAGINARY FRIENDS JUST DON'T LIVE IN MY MIND! He actually got INDIGNANT & MENTIONED THAT HE WAS POTENTIALLY GOING TO THROW A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF BUSINESS MY WAY & I WAS ACTING EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL BY "BLOWING HIM & HIS OFFER OFF!"

  Now Kids.... I ain't smokin crack... & I am not Delusional, or IMAGINING THESE THINGS..... But how could any SANE HUMAN BEING SAY THIS CRAP TO SOMEBODY & NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY??????

  So I am Utterly Baffled here folks..... I have no clue as to how I'm going to Survive.... Or how I'm going to get through this drought & RUT I'm in...... But I'll tell you this kids... I am no longer going to SUFFER THESE DELUSIONAL, INSANE, EGOMANIACS OUT HERE IN BOSTON ANY LONGER!!!!!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...... I HAVE TO HOLD ON TO MY LAST SHRED OF DIGNITY & SAY "SCREW THIS BULLSHIT!"

  It's sad.... But there are so many SMALL minded people.... So many JEALOUS PEOPLE OUT HERE IN BOSTON.... SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE....  "L S" (yes, the one from your very own Beanywood site) that act, think, walk & talk like THEY are "IN THE KNOW, HOLLYWOOD SHOW BIZ PEOPLE"...

  But in fact are just very egomaniacal, jaded, close minded, Snobby, Elitist individuals that want to keep others down... refuse to Communicate (because god knows I have tried several times to get in touch with her & have always been extremely polite & Ass kissey... But this has been of no avail to me anyways)....

  & I truly Hope you Good people out there understand that this type of behavior is SYMPTOMATIC OF NARCISSISTIC, PRETENTIOUS, BETTER THAN THOU, ARTY FARTY I AM "OH SO MUCH MORE HOLLYWOOD THAN YOU CRAP" That is bringing this city into the GUTTER FASTER THAN THE TWIN TOWERS COULD FALL!

  We don't need another Arrogant idiot with power trying to build themselves up by tearing others down & feeling oh so SUPERIOR in the Process!!!

Boston people need to be Rational..... Human.... REAL....

STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD!!!!

HOLLYWOOD IS FULL OF SICK, TWISTED SCUM!

If this town ever has a chance of giving Talented, decent, hardworking, creative people a chance.... It needs to get real & come down of it's High Horse & start making sense in the REAL WORLD!

NOT THE STUPID SCREWED UP FAKE WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD!

1 HOLLYWOOD IS BAD ENOUGH KIDS....... WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER!

So to all the Decent, Talented & hardworking people out here in New England (because I know there MUST be at least a few of you out there)..... I wish YOU luck!

I have HIT A BRICK WALL out here in Boston..... I need to Re-Think.... Re-Plan... Re-build, what I was already trying to rebuild from my Twisted life left over from my Hollywood yesteryears.

But I do know this kids from experience.... Don't TRY to ACT like HOLLYWOOD.... HOLLYWOOD SUCKS!

  Just be yourselves... Be real... Be decent to other Human beings.... Hollywood is HOLLOW.... SHALLOW.... HEARTLESS.... UNFORGIVING...... CRUEL... EMPTY.... DEAD.... COLD.

Ask yourself this people... Is this what you want to be when YOU grow up? Is that what you Aspire to? I hope not.

Wish me luck kids.....

Because..... As dear ole Bon Scott from AC/DC always said: it's a "LONG WAY TO THE TOP..... IF YOU WANNA ROCK & ROLL"!

  Goodbye for now,
 from your X-Hollywood Show Biz Rebel......... Craig Amabello

P.S: Always remember to check out my work, Thoughts & Life at http://www.youtube.com/CraigsRealTv

Because Boys & Girls.... I will ALways tell it like it is..... EVEN IF IT HURTS Both..... YOU & ME!

Live life with NO REGRETS!

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Feb 25

Big Film News

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I saw a final cut of THE GATEWAY MEAT, filmed in Massachusetts. I appear in the film, I get brutally murdered and got to write my own death scene. Unfortunately my face is bound up with duct tape and we shot for 8 or 10 hours and I couldn't see and was covered in cold fake blood all day. The DVD will be out soon. The film is AMAZING- oh my god- so gory! I was only in a small part and did not see the script so knew nothing about the plot of the film or anything about it except my scenes.

Also out soon on DVD:

Countess Bathoria's Graveyard Picture Show, which debuted at the Fantasia Film Fest, and which I co-wrote.

I am writing for The Independent Magazine website and will be interviewing Jeremy Kasten, director of the upcoming remake of The Wizard of Gore.

I have an interview in the next Girls and Corpses magazine with Erik Ruhling, author of Infernal Device, an illustrated book of torture devices.

Although I put it aside months and months ago it looks like my script A Fistful of Anger may be optioned.

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Nov 08

Craig Amabello says: Welcome to my world. Get ready for craigstv.com

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Hello everyone!

  I am in Pre-Production work for craigstv.com & I am ready to start shooting web TV shows every month.

  craigstv will consist of ongoing (FAKE) reality TV shows... Sketch Comedy Bits... Short Films... Parody Commercials... News shows... Contest entries for Many Online contests... And many other things that will bring Humor, Enlightenment & ENTERTAINMENT to the Masses!

  I am mainly interested in Black/Dark Comedy concepts.... Anything that will poke fun of the world we live in & the Bizarre nature of this funny little creature called: "The Human Being".

  People either Love me.... Or Hate me... But that doesn't matter as long as I can put a smile on their face, a Deep thought in their Mind... & a Dollar in my Pocket!

  My Quest for GLOBAL DOMINATION starts right HERE & NOW.

I have the Skills... Talent... Knowledge & Equipment to make my ideas a REALITY but I can't do it ALONE....

  I need many of YOU great, talented, cool, & dedicated Actors, Actresses & Models out there to make these ideas come to life. All Ages... All ethnicities... Any skill level.

  These gigs are not for the Small minded... Weak... Scared... or Confused types... I need Strong people with Talent & a sense of humor that appreciate the dark side of life & want to create Cool, Fun & Entertaining Web TV Shows!

  I can also use help in the writing department... So if any of you writers out there like dark, sarcastic comedy... Please hit me up.

  Crew help will be needed in several departments including Hair & make-up, Lighting, Script Continuity, Wardrobe, & basic PA help.

  You don't have to be a long time professional... Just a Decent, Fun, Cool Human being with a Passion & Dedication for Creating Art & Entertainment that you can enjoy & be proud of.

  My Goal is to Create Great Web TV Shows & have lots of FUN doing it. Money of course is important... But that will come in time, once I get established on the Web & in the Real world as well.

  So if any of this sounds interesting to all you fine folks of New England that want to show the world what YOU can do.... Then hit me up & lets get to work on this & start having fun creating MEMORABLE ENTERTAINMENT for the Whole Wide World to See, Hear & Enjoy.

  Email me at: laconnection101@aol.com

Please: No Death Threats, Letter Bombs, Or Anthrax... I have enough problems just making it through a day as it is right now.

Remember: Life is a tricky little thing that NO ONE Truly has all the answers for... We are all in this together, so we might as well Laugh & have fun on this Whacky world while we can.... I know I sure am.

Rock & Roll

Craig Amabello... The X-Hollywood Reject.

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