I saw a final cut of THE GATEWAY MEAT, filmed in Massachusetts. I appear in the film, I get brutally murdered and got to write my own death scene. Unfortunately my face is bound up with duct tape and we shot for 8 or 10 hours and I couldn't see and was covered in cold fake blood all day. The DVD will be out soon. The film is AMAZING- oh my god- so gory! I was only in a small part and did not see the script so knew nothing about the plot of the film or anything about it except my scenes.

Also out soon on DVD:

Countess Bathoria's Graveyard Picture Show, which debuted at the Fantasia Film Fest, and which I co-wrote.

I am writing for The Independent Magazine website and will be interviewing Jeremy Kasten, director of the upcoming remake of The Wizard of Gore.

I have an interview in the next Girls and Corpses magazine with Erik Ruhling, author of Infernal Device, an illustrated book of torture devices.

Although I put it aside months and months ago it looks like my script A Fistful of Anger may be optioned.

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Hello my dear Bostonians... Craig Amabello here... Your Truly Twisted & Demented X-Hollywood Reject phoning in from the front.

How are all of you film makers doing out there?

Are you living your dreams?

Are you attempting to live your dreams?

Do you just want to explode sometimes with frustration over not being able to create the Art that you truly know is inside you & SCREAMS to get out?

I know that I DO.... Everyday that goes by without another thing accomplished is truly another day wasted!

I am attempting to change my ways.... Lift my life above this crummy haze of dementia that spills over me like bad Whiskey.

Do any of you ever feel that nobody truly understands you?

Do you just want to get up & scream..... Time for a change!... Time to make my Destiny come true!

I know that I surely do.

I am a lost soul.... A brother of no man... A wandering Rock & Roll Gypsy that has his foot stuck in the big bad bear trap of life!

Time to shake off these shackles & get back to Reality....

Hollywood is calling my name.... I can hear her whispering my name in the winds...

Why won't SHE leave me alone?

Why do I hate & LOVE her so much?

Do any of you ever feel the same way that I do?

Or is it just me?... Trapped in my own mind... Shattered thoughts of Tattered dreams... Running around inside my head while all the rest of the voices Scream...... FEED ME! ... SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU CAN DO! ... TIME IS PASSING BY... I have no time to die.. Because I have a vision, A goal, A dream, that can not be shot down from the sky.

All those mean, Bitter, twisted, Hollow, Shallow people that get in my way, try to make me think I am a loser... The world is full of these angry people & I just do my best to ignore them. The Nay sayers shall not change MY visions... For I have a destiny... Show Biz is in my blood... Film Making is calling me... Creative energies just spill out of me, I just need to learn to FOCUS & re-direct my energies to accomplish all of my goals. ( don't let these people get you down folks... They will always be around every corner... Don't let others stop you from living your dreams).

Why is loneliness so bad? Better to be Misunderstood... Than a fool that follows the pack & regrets it on your death bed!

Heres a brief synopsis of my week in rewind...

Shot some great footage & interviews of Motor-cross X-game jumpers last weekend for a documentary that I am doing. (All very cool. Very down to earth people. Especially for guys that spend half of their day Flying, spinning, & jumping thru the air risking their lives like Evel Kneivel could only dream about).

Worked for the ER doctor again on his Documentary on Disillusioned Doctors. Shot some interview footage with his mom & actually asked some good hard hitting questions. (after shooting, I told the doc some stories of my childhood & he & his producer said THEY should be making a documentary about MY life!)

Saw myself on TV again last week in that whacky movie "Army of Darkness". Sam Raimi's 3rd Installment of the Evil dead series. A Cult classic starring my only true Hollywood friend, Bruce Campbell. This movie was shot many, many years ago & I actually am only on screen a few seconds here & there but I still get a kick out of seeing myself on television as I squander my time out here on the east coast struggling to find my place in life.

Heard thru my Hollywood connections that a big time Porn Director by the name of Jim Powers was on the Howard Stern show the other day & they ended up showing some of MY footage that I shot years ago that shows the crazy world of Adult entertainment.

Gotta work (as a lighting guy) on a Bernie & Phil furniture commercial next week shooting some new spots for them.

Today I am back in the studio shooting girls in the Mud pit. (yes, we actually put girls in a mud pit & they then recite some lines of dramatic dialogue as they Submerse themselves completely under!)

Gotta meet a guy next week to start shooting weddings... (yes Weddings... Arghhhhhh... I am such a whore.)

All next weekend I will be shooting Hockey matches for the league. (Hockey, what a disgusting charade. Its just Violence disguised as a sport.)

And that about wraps up my week... Quite a diverse little character I am huh? My life is so surreal, so demented, so utterly boring & yet, exciting at times, that sometimes I just can't do anything but smile & giggle to myself thinking is this a normal life? Do other people live this way?

As I walk this tight rope that is my life juggling kittens, hand grenades & digital content, I always wonder if I am going to fall... Or have I already fallen & I just can't get up?

My life is a bad B movie... & I have to turn it into a billion dollar franchise blockbuster & win over the masses so that my true talent can shine thru & the money piles up bigger than the gold in fort Knox. I know I have it in me... I just gotta get it OUTTA ME!

My best friend thinks that I am insane & that my Ambitions SUPER-CEDE my ABILITIES....

  AM I just a fool? A dreamer? A child lost to the world? You bet I am... But it is all I have... It is all I have ever had... My ability to SEE REALITY for what it truly is & to still not let that throw me... Life is to short kids... Ya gotta have fun... Grab life & kick it in the Ass & giggle at the madness that surrounds us all...

The infinite wisdom of the ages is never lost on one such as I... As I watch this country growing closer & closer to the She-Devil that is known as Hillary Clinton I sometimes wonder am I the only one that can sense the madness? Taste the Fear? Nobodies gonna pull the wool over my eyes... The sheep go Bahhh & the Politicians are stirring up their Wicked Caldron of Befuddling madness to confuse the masses with their Bullshit & lies....

We need a new hero... Am I the one? Can I truly take on & accomplish all that I desire? (To create Cool Entertainment for the Befuddled masses), Or am I just a fool with a handful of mud & left over dreams from a bygone era?

Only time will tell.... For I am.... Craig Amabello Hollywoods Lost Child.

Time to PUT UP... Or shut up.

WIsh you all well in your pursuit of happiness & dreams... I sure could use some Positive thoughts.

From your friend on the edge of Insanity... Craig Amabello, your truly demented reporter & X-Hollywood Misfit.

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