I saw a final cut of THE GATEWAY MEAT, filmed in Massachusetts. I appear in the film, I get brutally murdered and got to write my own death scene. Unfortunately my face is bound up with duct tape and we shot for 8 or 10 hours and I couldn't see and was covered in cold fake blood all day. The DVD will be out soon. The film is AMAZING- oh my god- so gory! I was only in a small part and did not see the script so knew nothing about the plot of the film or anything about it except my scenes.
Also out soon on DVD:
Countess Bathoria's Graveyard Picture Show, which debuted at the Fantasia Film Fest, and which I co-wrote.
I am writing for The Independent Magazine website and will be interviewing Jeremy Kasten, director of the upcoming remake of The Wizard of Gore.
I have an interview in the next Girls and Corpses magazine with Erik Ruhling, author of Infernal Device, an illustrated book of torture devices.
Although I put it aside months and months ago it looks like my script A Fistful of Anger may be optioned.
Hollywood California.... The land of Dreams to so many... The world of Nightmares & despair to most that go there & have their hopes snuffed out by the hot Santa Ana Winds.
LA is a tough place to make it... But if you wanna be in the Rough & Tumble Business of Show, Hollywood is STILL the place to be. (I, obviously, was not tough enough to make it). So I ran back to my hometown in the east in shame, humiliation & abject failure after 12 long years of struggling. So many years spent trying to climb that elusive ladder of success, & each & every time I grabbed a new rung on that ladder, the damn thing broke & shattered, sending me right back to the bottom again!
But every time I mention to people that I spent over a decade living & working in Hollywood, they act like it's nothing... & then instantly launch into some preachy type speech about HOW GREAT THEY ARE & How little I must know.
These very same people go on to explain just how special & talented THEY TRULY ARE, & all the wonderful projects that they have worked on & all that other babbling crap & yet.......
These very same people have NEVER, EVER, SUSTAINED THEMSELVES, (IE: actually made a living), in the entertainment industry for any length of time, let alone over a decade!
Many people out here.... (I am NOT SAYING ALL PEOPLE, but there seems to be an awful lot) Just seem to be jealous, petty & angry that somebody who has actually lived & worked in LA & has come back, has something to say about it. (Remember, its just my stupid opinion & I'm a NOBODY! I never claimed to be anything other than another Broken dreamer that was crushed & blinded by the big city lights of Hollywood).
But the very comments, (like the latest one), from some people on my "I WANNA GO BACK TO HOLLYWOOD BLOG", Just seem down right childish, angry, rude, condescending, Jealous & BITTER! (Just read a couple... Several people were very good, but a few others, like the first woman's post... I Still can't tell if she was joking or not. Her comments confused me. And now the last post, seemed down right Snooty).
What gives people? Why the ATTITUDES? Is Boston truly filled with petty, jealous vindictive SHOW-BIZ WANNABE'S that make Hollywood sharks seem like tame lil puppies?
All this Boston attitude reminds me of a shoot I was on once in Malibu. I was filming a behind the scenes documentary for an Adult film known as "Babe-Watch" A Buck Adams feature for cable.
Buck Adams, (The Director), hired some young girl from Boston to be the production manager on this shoot & when she showed up on set, she actually brought members of her family! (Who brings family members to watch them flip hamburgers, Dig a ditch, or operate on a patient... So Why would you do it working on a Hollywood film?)
This is a professional endeavor with tens of thousands of dollars on the line & yet so many people bring this fantasy of PLAYTIME to Hollywood with them when they come here... THIS is a JOB people. This is a CAREER for some... This is OUR LIVES... (the ones that live & work out here at-least) Not some lil game! What is wrong with people?
As I was saying, this girl was brand new at all this & was quite overwhelmed by the whole process. Making a film & being in Hollywood at the same time confused & excited her, (understandably so, nothing wrong with that).
But... instead of just being real, & asking for help..... She just turned into a Hollywood Scum-bag overnight! She became, Pushy, Bossy, Rude, Aggressive, Arrogant, Demeaning, Condescending, & down right Hostile to the members of the cast & crew that she felt she could bully! ( I, of course being one of them... because I am a very easy going guy & unfortunately, in my past, have allowed many people to push me around).
Everyday you could see this deranged production managers horns growing & her ego getting bigger. She continued to bring friends & various family members to the set everyday like it was a freakin Disney Tour!
We, the cast & crew, were all old school Pro's by this time, she had only been in town for 2 weeks & had already grown into this She Demon MONSTER from Hell.
One day, coming back from Catalina Island on a boat, this production manager told ME that I had shot enough footage for the day & to stop rolling camera. I could not believe my ears. This half-assed Hollywood NEWCOMER was already brazen enough to start telling me what to do!
It took all of 2 weeks for her ego to blow up so big that she started acting like an OLD SCHOOL, RUDE SCUM-BAG. Telling me, a damn veteran of the biz at this point in my life, what the hell I should be shooting!
I remember thinking to myself that she was joking with me, until I realized that she was dead serious & became quite adamant that I should stop rolling tape & I just laughed at her! (Since when do production managers become Freakin Directors?).
My long winded, convoluted point is this: I learned a long time ago by dealing with TRUE Hollywood Stars & TRUE Hollywood personalities, that 90% of the BIGGEST people in the business are very cool, human, down to earth & approachable. (I have had the nicest conversations with big time directors like Sam Raimi & Penelope Spheeris & I was only a lowly Extra at the time!).
Those big time personalities treated me & other people with human dignity, kindness & respect.
BUT every time I deal with a HOLLYWOOD WANNABE, A NOBODY, OUT HERE.... I get all kinds of attitude & disrespect. I have finally learned that the reason for this is that they are so scared, so paralyzed by their own fears & self doubts of not coming off as somebody important, (or at-least, MORE important than myself), that they feel the need to disrespect myself & Hollywood.
They can't wait to ignore, condemn or judge my meager accomplishments out in Los Angeles out of what I perceive as nothing other than: SHEER JEALOUSY.
These small minded people, with such BIG attitudes only prove themselves to be one thing: VERY SMALL, NARROW MINDED BEINGS.
They are making Boston seem like a very rude, delusional place. A bad place, where good people wouldn't want to come to work & make creative entertainment.
It is so sad that many people on the East coast act this way. And no matter what I seem to do, or where I go around here, I keep stumbling into these frustrated, rude, arrogant idiots.
WHY????????? I know there are good people out here. Talented people out here. Creative people out here. Hard working people out here? WHY CAN'T I FIND THEM??????????
Please Good, creative people of Boston... Don't let these Snooty, highfalutin, Hollywood Wannabe, snot nosed brats Brats keep giving Boston a bad name.
COME OUT INTO THE LIGHT... Show us that there is more to this town than: Sad, disturbed, demented lil people of small, frustrated minds & huge egos that want to topple & devour all that come into their paths.
Which are you: A happy, Cool, Creative Camper..... Or a demented lil Nobody, who enjoys being rude & hurting other humans?
These are only my opinions... Take them as you may....
