Hello Boston.... Hello Beanywood.... This is your good ole X-Hollywood Reject, Craig Amabello reporting in from the bottom of the barrel of life in New England.

  After 5 years of laboring in Vain... Sending out OVER 3,000 RESUMES... Approximately 6,000 Emails.... Countless phone calls.... Attempting to get ANY KIND OF LOW BUDGET FILM & VIDEO PRODUCTION WORK out here in New England.... Offering myself to individuals.... Companies.... Groups of people that may need a Professional DIRECTOR... SHOOTER... OR EDITOR with 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE...... I have come to the sad & Frustrating conclusion that......

  It is impossible for ME to get ANY CRAPPY LOW PAYING GIGS OUT HERE DOING ANY CRAPPY LOW BUDGET PRODUCTION!!!!!

I GIVE UP ON THE BOSTON FILM MAKING COMMUNITY.... ON NEW ENGLAND DIRECTORS... ARTISTS... BUSINESSMEN & WOMEN.....

  ON BOSTON & NEW ENGLAND PEOPLE IN GENERAL!

  OR ANYBODY OUT HERE FOR THAT MATTER..... THAT EXPECTS YOU TO WORK LIKE A FRIGGIN "SLAVE" FOR NOTHING BUT THE BETTERMENT OF THEMSELVES & THE PROMISE OF "MAYBE" PAYING GIGS SOMEDAY IN THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!

  In 12 years.... On my WORST day's in Los Angeles.... On my Worst Gigs.... Shooting PORN.... For Low Budget.... DERANGED, NAZI, SCUM-BAG, FOREIGNERS... I Made MORE Money & was TREATED BETTER..... THAN ANY GIG I HAVE BEEEN OFFERED OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND IN 5 YEARS!!!!!!

Just let that sentence sink in for a minute Folks..... Imagine how BAD my Lowest Paying & Worst Days out in HOLLYWOOD could have been....... & THEY STILL HAVE BEEN BETTER DAYS & PAY..... THAN ANY GIGS EVER OFFERED OUT HERE!!!

That THOUGHT alone..... is so very disturbingly twisted & sad on SO MANY LEVELS.... as to actually BOGGLE THE IMAGINATION.... & MELT the Mind of any Vaguely, Self Respecting human being that would make ANYONE HOLD THEIR HANDS UP & SCREAM........

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THS PICTURE??????".... "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"

I AM OFFERING MYSELF LIKE A CHEAP 10 DOLLAR TAIWANESE LADY BOY AT 3 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN BANGKOK WITH A ROOM FULL OF DRUNKEN, WHITE, AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN...... & I STILL GET NO OFFERS!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........

  What Amazes me is even more IS.... HOW THE HELL DO ALL YOU REST OF YOU PEOPLE OUT HERE IN NEW ENGLAND MAKE A LIVING DOING PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION WORK ????

  I don't have a freakin clue anymore than an Opium smokin Chinamen in a French Whorehouse selling vibrators to Lithuanian Lesbian Nuns, While Catholic Priests try to start their own Daycare center for School boys & can't fathom why..... things ain't going right for them!!!!

  I am sick of PRETENTIOUS NOBODIES demanding MEETINGS & offering NO PAYING GIGS in Return! The few offers that I have had have been for NO MONEY... Just A Bunch of TALK about BACK END DEALS that MAY make us all lots of money somewhere in the future for some FAR OFF potential Projects.... BUT FIRST.... I NEED YOU TO WORK FOR ME FOR FREE!

  That Crap talk is for LOSERS... BY LOSERS... & let me tell you...

  ONE PERSON out of 1,000,000 MAY be worth that kind of CONSIDERATION.....

But none of these EGOTISTICAL... LOUDMOUTH.... SELF BLOATED... SELF RIGHTEOUS... IDIOTS that I have talked to out here are even worth doing business with for ANY money at all!!!!

  REALITY CHECK:.... In the REAL WORLD.... You don't have your toilet fixed BUT FIRST TELL THE PLUMBER you need to have a meeting with them so that YOU can CHECK THEM OUT & then explain to them that if this job PAYS NO MONEY.... BUT if it goes ok... In the future you might have several more jobs for them that are much BETTER & ACTUALLY PAY REAL MONEY!!!

  In what TWILIGHT ZONE DO THESE "ARTY FARTY"... SELF INVOLVED MORONS come from to think that this is not only NORMAL BEHAVIOR & LOGIC.......

BUT...... THAT IT HAS ACTUALLY BECOME "ACCEPTABLE".... & "STANDARD" PRACTICE OF DOING BUSINESS IN THE "MOVIE WORLD" OUT HERE!!!!!

  This is all BULLSHIT SOCIO-PATHIC BEHAVIOR!.....

  Don't EVER... let ANYBODY Convince YOU otherwise!!!!!!!!!

  My last offer for work came from a Boston Business man that is running the "Boston Music Festival" and all he wanted from me was:

  Put together 5 video production crews (of at least 3 people each) to shoot at 5 different nightclubs a night at destinations All over Boston for 5 straight days covering over 130 bands, (Also needing me to SHOOT Camera Myself at one of the clubs each night) & then put together an edited show for Broadcast on Cable, then do a DVD for "Best of performances", another edit for Website exposure, & one more video for the individual bands & only wanted to set up several KEY meetings with me & the other BIG Producers, cable company & businessmen while also scouting the locations of half a dozen nightclubs!

  & get this............. HE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME A WEBSITE FOR ALL OF THIS WORK!!!!!!

  In the REAL WORLD.... NOT THE BOSTON INSANE WORLD....

  This was a $10,000 dollar gig just for myself.... And that would be a rock bottom low end price tag!

 And this guy actually had the nerve to tell me that my Credentials were IMPRESSIVE & THAT HE HAD SEEN SAMPLES OF MY WORK & WAS SURE THAT I WAS NOT ONLY TALENTED, BUT HIGHLY SKILLED & THAT I WAS THE MAN FOR THE JOB & THAT HE DESPERATELY NEEDED THE SERVICES OF SOMEONE WITH MY BACKGROUND & KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!

  & then he called me & emailed me several times BAFFLED that I wouldn't return his calls & set up Meetings with him & his people!

  & then when I Politely & calmly & Professionally explained to this MADMAN That I work for Gringo dollars & actually need to MAKE REAL MONEY to PAY actual bills because My IMAGINARY FRIENDS JUST DON'T LIVE IN MY MIND! He actually got INDIGNANT & MENTIONED THAT HE WAS POTENTIALLY GOING TO THROW A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF BUSINESS MY WAY & I WAS ACTING EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL BY "BLOWING HIM & HIS OFFER OFF!"

  Now Kids.... I ain't smokin crack... & I am not Delusional, or IMAGINING THESE THINGS..... But how could any SANE HUMAN BEING SAY THIS CRAP TO SOMEBODY & NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY??????

  So I am Utterly Baffled here folks..... I have no clue as to how I'm going to Survive.... Or how I'm going to get through this drought & RUT I'm in...... But I'll tell you this kids... I am no longer going to SUFFER THESE DELUSIONAL, INSANE, EGOMANIACS OUT HERE IN BOSTON ANY LONGER!!!!!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...... I HAVE TO HOLD ON TO MY LAST SHRED OF DIGNITY & SAY "SCREW THIS BULLSHIT!"

  It's sad.... But there are so many SMALL minded people.... So many JEALOUS PEOPLE OUT HERE IN BOSTON.... SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE....  "L S" (yes, the one from your very own Beanywood site) that act, think, walk & talk like THEY are "IN THE KNOW, HOLLYWOOD SHOW BIZ PEOPLE"...

  But in fact are just very egomaniacal, jaded, close minded, Snobby, Elitist individuals that want to keep others down... refuse to Communicate (because god knows I have tried several times to get in touch with her & have always been extremely polite & Ass kissey... But this has been of no avail to me anyways)....

  & I truly Hope you Good people out there understand that this type of behavior is SYMPTOMATIC OF NARCISSISTIC, PRETENTIOUS, BETTER THAN THOU, ARTY FARTY I AM "OH SO MUCH MORE HOLLYWOOD THAN YOU CRAP" That is bringing this city into the GUTTER FASTER THAN THE TWIN TOWERS COULD FALL!

  We don't need another Arrogant idiot with power trying to build themselves up by tearing others down & feeling oh so SUPERIOR in the Process!!!

Boston people need to be Rational..... Human.... REAL....

STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD!!!!

HOLLYWOOD IS FULL OF SICK, TWISTED SCUM!

If this town ever has a chance of giving Talented, decent, hardworking, creative people a chance.... It needs to get real & come down of it's High Horse & start making sense in the REAL WORLD!

NOT THE STUPID SCREWED UP FAKE WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD!

1 HOLLYWOOD IS BAD ENOUGH KIDS....... WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER!

So to all the Decent, Talented & hardworking people out here in New England (because I know there MUST be at least a few of you out there)..... I wish YOU luck!

I have HIT A BRICK WALL out here in Boston..... I need to Re-Think.... Re-Plan... Re-build, what I was already trying to rebuild from my Twisted life left over from my Hollywood yesteryears.

But I do know this kids from experience.... Don't TRY to ACT like HOLLYWOOD.... HOLLYWOOD SUCKS!

  Just be yourselves... Be real... Be decent to other Human beings.... Hollywood is HOLLOW.... SHALLOW.... HEARTLESS.... UNFORGIVING...... CRUEL... EMPTY.... DEAD.... COLD.

Ask yourself this people... Is this what you want to be when YOU grow up? Is that what you Aspire to? I hope not.

Wish me luck kids.....

Because..... As dear ole Bon Scott from AC/DC always said: it's a "LONG WAY TO THE TOP..... IF YOU WANNA ROCK & ROLL"!

  Goodbye for now,
 from your X-Hollywood Show Biz Rebel......... Craig Amabello

P.S: Always remember to check out my work, Thoughts & Life at http://www.youtube.com/CraigsRealTv

Because Boys & Girls.... I will ALways tell it like it is..... EVEN IF IT HURTS Both..... YOU & ME!

Live life with NO REGRETS!

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Hello my dear Bostonians... Craig Amabello here... Your Truly Twisted & Demented X-Hollywood Reject phoning in from the front.

How are all of you film makers doing out there?

Are you living your dreams?

Are you attempting to live your dreams?

Do you just want to explode sometimes with frustration over not being able to create the Art that you truly know is inside you & SCREAMS to get out?

I know that I DO.... Everyday that goes by without another thing accomplished is truly another day wasted!

I am attempting to change my ways.... Lift my life above this crummy haze of dementia that spills over me like bad Whiskey.

Do any of you ever feel that nobody truly understands you?

Do you just want to get up & scream..... Time for a change!... Time to make my Destiny come true!

I know that I surely do.

I am a lost soul.... A brother of no man... A wandering Rock & Roll Gypsy that has his foot stuck in the big bad bear trap of life!

Time to shake off these shackles & get back to Reality....

Hollywood is calling my name.... I can hear her whispering my name in the winds...

Why won't SHE leave me alone?

Why do I hate & LOVE her so much?

Do any of you ever feel the same way that I do?

Or is it just me?... Trapped in my own mind... Shattered thoughts of Tattered dreams... Running around inside my head while all the rest of the voices Scream...... FEED ME! ... SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU CAN DO! ... TIME IS PASSING BY... I have no time to die.. Because I have a vision, A goal, A dream, that can not be shot down from the sky.

All those mean, Bitter, twisted, Hollow, Shallow people that get in my way, try to make me think I am a loser... The world is full of these angry people & I just do my best to ignore them. The Nay sayers shall not change MY visions... For I have a destiny... Show Biz is in my blood... Film Making is calling me... Creative energies just spill out of me, I just need to learn to FOCUS & re-direct my energies to accomplish all of my goals. ( don't let these people get you down folks... They will always be around every corner... Don't let others stop you from living your dreams).

Why is loneliness so bad? Better to be Misunderstood... Than a fool that follows the pack & regrets it on your death bed!

Heres a brief synopsis of my week in rewind...

Shot some great footage & interviews of Motor-cross X-game jumpers last weekend for a documentary that I am doing. (All very cool. Very down to earth people. Especially for guys that spend half of their day Flying, spinning, & jumping thru the air risking their lives like Evel Kneivel could only dream about).

Worked for the ER doctor again on his Documentary on Disillusioned Doctors. Shot some interview footage with his mom & actually asked some good hard hitting questions. (after shooting, I told the doc some stories of my childhood & he & his producer said THEY should be making a documentary about MY life!)

Saw myself on TV again last week in that whacky movie "Army of Darkness". Sam Raimi's 3rd Installment of the Evil dead series. A Cult classic starring my only true Hollywood friend, Bruce Campbell. This movie was shot many, many years ago & I actually am only on screen a few seconds here & there but I still get a kick out of seeing myself on television as I squander my time out here on the east coast struggling to find my place in life.

Heard thru my Hollywood connections that a big time Porn Director by the name of Jim Powers was on the Howard Stern show the other day & they ended up showing some of MY footage that I shot years ago that shows the crazy world of Adult entertainment.

Gotta work (as a lighting guy) on a Bernie & Phil furniture commercial next week shooting some new spots for them.

Today I am back in the studio shooting girls in the Mud pit. (yes, we actually put girls in a mud pit & they then recite some lines of dramatic dialogue as they Submerse themselves completely under!)

Gotta meet a guy next week to start shooting weddings... (yes Weddings... Arghhhhhh... I am such a whore.)

All next weekend I will be shooting Hockey matches for the league. (Hockey, what a disgusting charade. Its just Violence disguised as a sport.)

And that about wraps up my week... Quite a diverse little character I am huh? My life is so surreal, so demented, so utterly boring & yet, exciting at times, that sometimes I just can't do anything but smile & giggle to myself thinking is this a normal life? Do other people live this way?

As I walk this tight rope that is my life juggling kittens, hand grenades & digital content, I always wonder if I am going to fall... Or have I already fallen & I just can't get up?

My life is a bad B movie... & I have to turn it into a billion dollar franchise blockbuster & win over the masses so that my true talent can shine thru & the money piles up bigger than the gold in fort Knox. I know I have it in me... I just gotta get it OUTTA ME!

My best friend thinks that I am insane & that my Ambitions SUPER-CEDE my ABILITIES....

  AM I just a fool? A dreamer? A child lost to the world? You bet I am... But it is all I have... It is all I have ever had... My ability to SEE REALITY for what it truly is & to still not let that throw me... Life is to short kids... Ya gotta have fun... Grab life & kick it in the Ass & giggle at the madness that surrounds us all...

The infinite wisdom of the ages is never lost on one such as I... As I watch this country growing closer & closer to the She-Devil that is known as Hillary Clinton I sometimes wonder am I the only one that can sense the madness? Taste the Fear? Nobodies gonna pull the wool over my eyes... The sheep go Bahhh & the Politicians are stirring up their Wicked Caldron of Befuddling madness to confuse the masses with their Bullshit & lies....

We need a new hero... Am I the one? Can I truly take on & accomplish all that I desire? (To create Cool Entertainment for the Befuddled masses), Or am I just a fool with a handful of mud & left over dreams from a bygone era?

Only time will tell.... For I am.... Craig Amabello Hollywoods Lost Child.

Time to PUT UP... Or shut up.

WIsh you all well in your pursuit of happiness & dreams... I sure could use some Positive thoughts.

From your friend on the edge of Insanity... Craig Amabello, your truly demented reporter & X-Hollywood Misfit.

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