It has been brought to my attention that I appear to be committing Creative & Professional suicide with my very Delicate & Fragile & never even having quite gotten off the ground Film Career.

Even though Death seems to have been hanging around me these last couple of years & people around me have been dropping faster than Elvis & James Dean on a Joy ride with John kennedy in Dallas.... I most certainly have no Intention of Committing Suicide of ANY KIND!....

SO for any of you Ghouls & Thrill seekers that think they smell death & the Putrid, Rotting Decay of a Mal Nourished & twisted mind on display for all to see.... You have most certainly, have come to the Wrong place!

For I am only affecting FREE SPEECH..... ARTISTIC CREATIVITY.... CALLING IT, THE WAY I SEE IT....

FOR I DO NOT CREATE THE WORLDS REALITY..... I JUST COMMENT ON IT!

I have found that most... If not all of the Boston Film people that I have come in contact with are:

FULL OF THEMSELVES.... BRAGGARTS.... & FOOLS...... DELUSIONAL PSYCHOPATHS THAT SEEK TO SUCK THE DREAMS FROM OTHER DEMENTED, LOWER TYPES... & IN THE PROCESS, BUILD THEMSELVES UP INTO SOMETHING THAT THEY ARE NOT.....TO TURN THEMSELVES INTO SOME MAD DEMENTED VISION THEY HAVE OF HOW "TRUE" HOLLYWOOD TYPES ACT & LIVE... BUT BOY, HAVE THEY GOT IT ALL WRONG!

I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING FED THIS DERANGED DELUSION OF HOW THEY THINK HOLLYWOOD REALLY IS... BUT THESE SIMPLETONS & FOOLS THAT MIMIC WHAT THEY BELIEVE TO BE THE "REAL" HOLLYWOOD ARE SO INSANELY WRONG THAT IT MAKES THOSE OF US IN THE KNOW.... WANT TO PUKE!

THERE ARE SOME CREATIVE BUSINESS TYPES OUT IN HOLLYWOOD THAT ARE KIND, DECENT HUMAN BEINGS THAT STILL MAKE A FANTASTIC LIVING!

Is it wrong to say what I believe???

What I know to be true???

Is this Suicide??... To speak ones mind??

To say what truly is... As opposed to playing a part of the status Quo that has it all ass backwards, wrong & upside down???

Could I be wrong?... Sure I could..... But I aint!

Am I to be Stoned because I dare to speak my mind?

This is not Professional Jealousy here folks... This is just one man's opinion... ( Mine), & you can take it, or leave it....

All I am speaking about comes from years of attempting to connect with Pro film people out here on the East coast with absolutely NO LUCK AT ALL!

I have tried everything.... Humor... Seriousness... Small talk... Business talk... Jokes... to simply passing out my resume ( a resume, I might ad, that isn't at all very spectacular, but by most standards out here in the Boston circuit... I'm freakin Spielberg! )

So I am left with the completely tormented knowledge that I am NOT QUALIFIED TO WORK FOR EVEN THE MOST LOWELY OF PROJECTS OUT HERE... FOR THE MOST BASIC OF COOKIE CUTTER PRODUCTION COMPANIES ON THE EAST COAST....

When a man comes from Hollywood California... Back to Boston.... & attempts to connect with almost anybody in the local film community... on any level & is practically begging for PA work & still cannot find it...... SOMETHING MUST BE DRASTICALLY WRONG!

I GET ABSOLUTELY LITTLE RESPONSE FROM THE PEOPLE ON THIS BEANYWOOD SITE... (Except a few cool people).

I AM ACTUALLY TRYING TO OPEN A HONEST & REAL DISCUSSION ON BUSINESS ETHICS OUT HERE.....

THE WAY HOLLYWOOD IS PERCEIVED BY NEW ENGLAND FILM WANNA-BE'S....

I LIVED TO SOME DEGREE "THE HOLLYWOOD DREAM"...

ALBIET.... "THE CLASSIC..... HOLLYWOOD DREAM GONE WRONG"... BUT NEVER THE LESS.... I LIVED THE REAL DEAL.... THE HOLLYWOOD LIFE... MAKING MY LIVING IN THE CITY OF LOST ANGELS WHILE THE DEVILS SURROUNDED US DAY & NIGHT.

THESE DEVILS WOULD GET OFF THE BUS EVERYDAY & POINT AT US AS WE MADE MOVIES IN FRONT OF GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATRE...

WHILE WE SLAVED AWAY EVERYDAY IN THE LOST CITY OF BRIGHT LIGHTS THAT SHINE DOWN FROM THE HILLS OF MADNESS & BROKEN DREAMS....

LOSING OUR FOOTING ALONG THE WAY... DAY AFTER DAY.... BUT NEVER QUITE FALLING.... & STILL CLIMBING THAT NEVER ENDING MOUNTAIN TO THE TOP OF THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS....

ONLY TO FIND THAT WE WERE STILL... TRULY IN THE GUTTER... & AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE BARREL... & HAD TO START OUR ASCENT ALL OVER AGAIN.... TO REALIZE YET AGAIN... ON ANOTHER DAY... THAT WE WERE STILL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HEAP WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PROGRESS IN SITE....

TO JUST START EVERYDAY.... ALL OVER... TIME & TIME AGAIN... LIKE SOME BAD EPISODE FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE.... AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL!

THIS IS THE HOLLYWOOD THAT I CAME FROM... THE HOLLYWOOD THAT BEATS YOU DOWN DAY IN & DAY OUT WITH NO HOPE IN SITE......

THEN OUT OF NOWHERE...... BANG!....

A SMALL GLIMMERING HOPE OF ESCAPE COMES YOUR WAY & LIKE A PUFF OF SMOKE IN THE NIGHT....

POOF........ YOUR DREAMS DISSIPATE RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES & FADE BACK INTO THE SHADOWS... LIKE THE MIST IN THE NGHT..... FROM THE HOT SANTA ANA WINDS THAT ROLL THRU THE DESERT AT DAWN.

THESE ARE THE VERY THINGS THAT SHATTER YOUR SOUL...... BREAK YOUR MIND..... DESTROY YOUR CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF & YOUR FELLOW MAN.....

& THEN THE DAY COMES THAT YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH.... THAT YOU CAN TAKE NO MORE OF THIS TORMENTED DAMNATION...

THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME HOME TO PEACE OF MIND & SANITY.... TO FIND SOLACE IN THE DECENCY OF GOOD OLE HOME TOWN AMERICA!

ONLY TO FIND A DENIZEN OF DEMENTED DREAMERS LOST IN THE WANNA-BE LAND OF THE FAST TRACK HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE...

AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS....................."SCREAM!"

IS IT COOL TO BE FAKE?????

IS IT RIGHT TO ACT WRONG????

IS RUDENESS THE ONLY "SHOW BIZ" WAY???

WHEN YOU PEOPLE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A TENTH OF THIS HOLLYWOOD BULLSHIT...

YOU WILL REALIZE THAT THIS FEMALE... THIS DREAM... THIS WOMAN KNOWN AS "HOLLYWOOD"... IS THE BITCH GODDESS FROM HELL...

& THAT SHE WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL ALIVE & SPIT YOU OUT THE BOTTOM...

A WASTED SHELL OF A HUMAN THAT YOU ONCE WERE...

THEN.... & ONLY THEN... MIGHT YOU HAVE A SMALL CLUE AS TO WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH & WHAT I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THROUGH OUT ALL OF MY BLOGS HERE ON BEANYWOOD.....

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO OVER LOOK & IGNORE PEOPLE'S ARROGANT, RUDE, TO COOL FOR SCHOOL BEHAVIOR ON WHAT THEY 'PERCEIVE" THE REAL HOLLYWOOD TO BE LIKE.....

BUT I AM TRULY FED UP WITH THESE CHILDISH & UTTERLY ABYSMAL HUMAN TYPES THAT FEEL THEY ARE "TRUELY" MEANT FOR HOLLYWOOD.... & WITH THAT......

THEY FEEL THE NEED TO LIVE OUT SOME FAIRY-TALE...GUM SHOE Z-MOVIE VERSION OF WHAT THEY THINK "REAL HOLLYWOOD" IS LIKE!

SO THEY SPEND ALL THERE TIME TRYIN TO MIMIC THE HOLLYWOOD BIG BOYS BY PISSING ON ALL THE SMALL DOGS THAT THEY CAN....

ALL THIS DOES IS BREED ILL WILL.... CONFUSION.... & ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING FOR ANYONE!

WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU UPPITY BOSTON FILM TYPES GOING TO GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR BUMS & OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE REAL WORLD???

A WORLD THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO CRUSH OTHER PEOPLES DREAMS TO GET AHEAD....

A WORLD WERE PEOPLE CAN STILL BE DECENT TO ONE ANOTHER & STILL CREATE SOMETHING GOOD & PROFITABLE...

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I RAIL AGAINST....

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT GAUL ME MOST...

UNMITIGATED UNNECESSARY HUMAN RUDENESS!

WAKE UP PEOPLE OF BOSTON......

DON'T LET THE POD PEOPLE TAKE OVER COMPLETELY......

HILLARY CLINTON IS NOT YOUR FRIEND......

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY DEVILS IN MAKE-UP.....

FOR I AM ONE TO KNOW..... FOR I HAVE SEEN THE DARK-SIDE OF THE LONG NIGHT IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS...

WHERE VERY FEW....... EVER MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!

All I have been doing these last few years is to attempt to find a way to make a God damn Honest & legal living out here on the East coast in the film community....

& I HAVE FAILED MISERABLY!.....

If you wonder why I appear to have an ATTITUDE.....

WOULDN'T YOU?

Signed,
Craig "The X-Hollywood Reject" Amabello